Black Blue and Gold
by Ziva-Warrior Princess
Summary: The life of Ziva David was never easy, here is an AU backstory about her childhood, her father's abuse and how she got to be the woman she is today. TRIGGER WARNINGS- CHILD ABUSE, RAPE, SELF-HARM, EATING DISORDERS, SUICIDE, VULGARITY
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: TRIGGER WARNINGS: CHILD ABUSE, RAPE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, EATING DISORDERS, AND SELF-HARM. ****Smut is in chapters 31 and 36, if you're into that.******

 **A/N: I have never been abused or sexually assaulted; this is just going off of what I have read about. I have, however, had an eating disorder (in recovery for 7 years!) and self harmed (in recovery for 5 years).**

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS, I WISH I DID. ALL RIGHTS GO TO CBS AND DPB.**

 **AU: Ziva is the ONLY daughter of an Israeli mobster. This story begins when she is 10 years old.**

 ****Everything spoken in Hebrew is in italics.****

 **(Revised 3/28/2016)**

—Prologue—

Ziva David was born to Eli David and Rivka David, née Coensberg .

Eli was a devout Jew, who went to school to be a teacher. His future in education was cut short when his friend Shmeil, who was an Israeli mobster, recruited him to be part of his gang of strongmen. By age 25, Eli was a respected and feared mob boss in his community.

Ziva's mother Rivka, born into a poor Jewish family from the ghetto, was a homemaker and a former textile factory worker. She had short brown curly hair, dark brown eyes, and a thin frame for her 5'7" stature.

* * *

Ziva was a sweet and quiet baby. She a head of curly hair and big brown eyes; she was always smiling.

Around the time she turned 2, she threw temper tantrums constantly, mostly when her mother was out to market, as she did not want to be away from her.

Eli first took these fits as a symptom of the 'terrible two's'.

But after 5 or 6 times she threw said fits, he, not being a patient man, began to find only one way for them to stop. Physical punishments. He would spank her, and when that did not work, he would smack her across the face and strike her with his teaching staff.

Ziva would wail, Eli would always say to her " _You deserve this punishment, Ziva! You are nothing but trouble!_ " Rivka knew of Eli's punishments, but knew she could do nothing to stop them.

Ziva entered kindergarten at age 5, she was very bright for her age, and often excelled. She was always happy to go to school to see her friends, and to be away from her father, who was drinking more and more every day.

He used to only drink on Shabbos, however, when Rivka suffered a miscarriage, Eli began to drink more heavily.

No matter what her home life was like, in school, Ziva remained a very polite and friendly little girl. Over the years, Ziva made many friends. Now at age 11, she was excited to be going into middle school, where she could make even more friends.

* * *

—Chapter One—

June 8th 1994, Ziva Age 10:

Eli David storms into the house with his gang of men, they laugh, " _It's amazing how easily that broke!_ "

The five men wipe the mud off their shoes before entering the warm home, the fireplace roaring.

Eli had a loyal group that was made up of four men:

Moshe, Eli's right hand man, the violent one, was a lanky bearded man with glasses, a ponytail; always wore boots no matter the season or weather.

Next was Moshe's cousin, Avraham, a portly, shorter man with a wispy beard and a deep gravely voice. He seemed eternally inebriated.

Then there was Igor, a younger blonde boy, who loved to dress in all black, commonly a black turtleneck. Igor was not born in Israel, but he became a part of the mob via his father's Russian connections.

Finally, there was Yosef, he was newer to the gang, cleaner cut, with slicked back black hair. He loved learning how to make others suffer with just words, he very much looked up to Eli.

* * *

Eli takes a seat in his chair, his subordinates sit in the chairs surrounding him.

As they talk and laugh, a small child walks in.

Her long frizzy brown hair held back from her face by a headscarf, an off white long sleeved blouse, (covering her bruises), almost hanging off her small frame and her long skirt almost cover hers bare feet.

" _Ah, Zivaleh! Fetch Abba and his friends my cigars! Quickly! Quickly!_ "

Ziva bows her head, 'Why do they have to all be here? They are so loud' she thinks, before she goes over to the armoire, pulls up a stool and climbs on it to reach her fathers Cubans; she climbs down carefully.

Walking over to her father, she hands him the cigars, which he hands out to his friends.

Eli's cohort, Moshe, elbows his cousin, Avraham.

" _Watch this._ ". As Ziva walks back toward the kitchen, Moshe holds out his foot, Ziva trips, landing flat on her face. The men laugh loudly.

" _Always such clumsy girl!_ " Eli chuckles.

Ziva gathers herself, smooths her ankle length olive skirt, and walks back to the kitchen.

* * *

Her mother, Rivka, was busy watching a kishka (a casserole common in Jewish households) she'd put in the oven for supper. " _Shalom Ima_." Ziva sighed, sadly, sitting in a chair at the kitchen table.

Rivka looked at her child, " _What is wrong, Zivaleh?_ " Her mother was unaware of the goings on in the living room, moments prior.

" _Nothing, Ima._ " Ziva said, wincing, as she sighed deeply, her bruised ribs aching from an earlier beating by Eli.

Her mother hummed _Tzena Tzena,_ as she set the table for her, Eli and Ziva.

" _The kishka is almost finished, please tell Abba, his friends should go soon so we may sit down for supper._ ". Ziva got out of the chair, wincing again at her aching ribs.

* * *

Eli was still in his chair, drinking wine and smoking a cigar.

" _Shall we open a third bottle?_ " Avraham asked, drunkenly. Moshe interrupts, "Yes! _I barely had any! You and Eli practically drank one bottle each!_ " They laughed.

Ziva walked cautiously towards her father, and quietly said, almost in a whisper, " _Abba, Ima says your friends have to go home._ "

Eli stands up, glaring." _They HAVE to?_ " He growls, striking Ziva across the face; she falls to the floor.

" _You know better, Ziva, that was very impolite. Stupid girl._ " Ziva still remained on the ground, afraid to get up. Her father grabs her by her hair, taking some of her purple and gold scarf with it, forcing her to look into his angry eyes.

" _Apologize, NOW, whore._ " Eli only called her a whore when he was drunk, but it still hurt.

Ziva's hair still in in Eli's fist, the gold paisley on her scarf shimmered in the light of the fire place, she squeaked out, " _I'm sorry._ " Eli let her hair go, " _Good girl._ _Now go wash up before supper._ " Ziva practically ran back to the kitchen to wash up, tears rolling down her face.

* * *

Eli's gang left within 10 minutes, Avraham had his arm around Moshe, trying not to fall. " _Shalom my friends!_ " Eli chuckled while waving.

In the dining room, Ziva and Rivka were waiting for Eli to say the _bracha_ so they could eat.

After a few moments of silence, just forks clinking on the plates, Ziva remembered a question she needed to ask, " _Abba, did you remember to register me for school next year?_ "

Eli looked at her, his eyes darkened, " _Ziva, we have already had this discussion, you are not returning to school. You do not need your head to be filled with silly ideas any longer. I will teach you from home—"_ Ziva interrupted, " _But Abba! what about my friends?_ "

Eli rose from his chair, walked slowly over to Ziva, and slapped her across the face. Rivka stood up from her chair, " _Eli!_ " she almost shouted at him.

" _Rivka, how is Ziva going to concentrate on her studies with others distracting_ her?" By 'others', Eli meant boys. _"_ _ **I**_ _will teach her all she needs to know."_

 _"And YOU,"_ he pointed at his wife, who was across the table, too far to hit." _You will set a good example for Ziva, how to be a good wife and to respect all men. I want no more of this back talk from either of you. Is that understood?_ " Rivka looked at Ziva, who was crying, her head down on the table. " _Yes, Eli._ " Rivka replied.

" _It is getting late, get ready for bed._ " Eli said as he sighed. He ran his hand through his hair and walked into the living room to have another cigar.

Ziva grabbed her plate and put it in the sink, then ran to her room to inspect her new marks on her face. She changed into a long nightgown and tied up her hair. She laid on her bed and covered herself with her blanket and rolling over to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**(revised 3/28/2016)**

Chapter 2

November 19th, 1994

At a bone chilling -11°C (11°F), Ziva was freezing, even in her navy sweater and long gray cotton skirt. The 'classroom' that Eli would teach her in was in the basement. He set up a chalkboard and a desk he had built for Ziva to sit in.

It had been one week since Ziva's 11th birthday and she was already reading and writing at a high school level, so Eli taught her math, history, and geography.

* * *

" _Abba it is freezing, can we please stop?_ " Ziva pleaded, shivering. Eli whacked her desk with a ruler. " _No Ziva! The cold makes you stronger! Makes you work harder! Now, again!_ " The ruler hit Ziva's desk once more, emphasizing Eli's anger. " _From the top!"_

"Algeria, Algiers; Angola, Luanda; Armenia _…_ " Ziva paused, the cold and her hunger affecting her memory, she thought harder, knowing she would get hit with the ruler if the answer were incorrect. "Armenia…Tirana?"

Eli growled and raised his ruler, " _Wrong!_ " He whacked Ziva's knuckles with a brute force, making them bleed, Ziva yelped like a hurt dog. " _Now look what you've done! Blood on my desk!_ " Eli backhanded her hard, his ring cutting her cheek. Ziva fell to the floor from the force of Eli's hand.

Eli spit on her, " _Clean it up!_ "

Ziva crawled over to the bucket of water and rag in the corner, her skirt protecting her knees from scraping over the filthy concrete floor.

" _Faster Ziva! Before it dries!"_ Eli barked.

Ziva stood up slowly, her bloodied hands grabbing the rag, she dragged the heavy metal bucket across the floor; the scraping noise was all that filled the basement. She dipped the rag in the water, wincing a bit at the cold water against her bleeding knuckles.

She dragged the rag back and forth over the desk, mopping up the blood until it was gone. She placed the mop and bucket back in the corner. " _While it dries, you may go help Ima prepare supper._ "

Ziva said nothing as she practically ran up the stairs to the kitchen.

* * *

Her mother was preparing supper for the family, not glancing at Ziva as she entered, concentrating on cooking. " _Ima, may I cut the carrots?_ " Ziva asked quietly.

" _Of course my Zivaleh._ _How were lessons with Abba?_ " Ziva didn't answer _, "Ziva?"_ Rivka turned to Ziva, seeing her bloody knuckles. " _Oh Ziva, you are bleeding! Go, clean up."_ Without a word, Ziva set down the knife next to the carrots and went into the bathroom to wash her hands.

* * *

As she ran the water over her bloody knuckles, she cried. She dried her hands on a towel and wrapped them in gauze. She slid against the door, sitting on the cold linoleum. Her head up, hoping to talk to G-d. " _Why is this happening to me? I should just end it now, on my terms, before Abba does it for me._ "

As she stood back up, the door opened. " _Ziva, what are you doing in here?! Did I not just tell you to go help your Ima?!"_

Ziva cowered, as Eli's face got redder, " _Abba, I'm sorry, I—"_ Ziva was cut off by a hand smacking her across the face. Ziva was on the floor again.

Eli grabbed Ziva's neck in his tanned fist, " _You will NOT disobey my orders again, do you understa—"_ This time Eli was cut off by Ziva thrusting a pair of cuticle scissors into Eli's abdomen.

He looked down to see them sticking out, blood slowly seeping through his light brown dress shirt, his hand still wrapped around Ziva's throat.

"Ahhhh!" Eli screamed and flung Ziva at the wall, causing her to hit her head against the bathroom walls blue tiles. Ziva moaned and blacked out within seconds.

Eli screamed as he ripped the scissors from his stomach. Clutching his bleeding abdomen, he shouted, " _You stupid girl! You think you can stop me?!"_

Rivka ran in at the sound of her husbands wails, to find him with bloody cuticle scissors in his hand, his hand pressed on his stomach.

She saw an unconscious Ziva next to the toilet. " _Eli, what happened?!_ "

Eli feigned tears, " _Ziva has gone insane, she attacked me; she was going to kill me! I was just defending myself!"_ Ziva moaned as she slowly regained consciousness.

Rivka sprinted to her, holding her head in her hands " _Ziva, can you hear me?_ " Ziva nodded.

Then, Rivka did something drastic; she slapped Ziva across the face. Ziva's sleepy eyes went wide. " _How DARE you attack your father, he has done nothing but clothe you, teach you, make sure you had food and water and a roof over your head._ " She grabbed a towel and put it under Ziva's bleeding scalp. " _I am taking you to the hospital_."

Ziva sighed and smiled, nodding her head. " _You are clearly not right in the head, so we are going to commit you until you straighten out._ "

Ziva was shocked, " _No! Ima, Abba, please, I'm sorry, I—I'll be good, please!"_ She cried, tears streaming down her face.

Eli walked towards Ziva and Rivka, still kneeling next to his bleeding daughter, " _Your mother is right, no arguing, you must get help, Ziva_." Ziva sobbed as they helped her up and into the car, to the hospital, she knew resistance was futile.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: T.W.: THIS CHAPTER DEALS WITH NON-DESCRIPT RAPE.**

As they arrived at the psychiatric unit, there was a man screaming about aliens coming tomorrow.

There was a red headed nurse with glasses at the desk. Without looking up she said, " _Drop off or pick up_?"

Rivka sighed sadly. " _Drop off._ _She tried—"_ The nurse cut her off, " _Fill out this paperwork while we get her a room, Dhani will take her vitals_."

A 6'0" dark haired man grabbed Ziva's wrist without speaking, he plopped her down in a chair. " _Remove your sweater, please_." His Arabic was accent thick, but his voice kind.

Ziva peeled off her sweater, revealing a ¾ length black tee shirt underneath. He rolled up her sleeve to take her blood pressure, revealing all her bruises on her arms from her fathers' abuse,

Dhani ignored them, then he took her temperature, and her height and weight. " _1.47 meters_ (4'10") _and 31.75 kilograms_ (70 lbs). _Fantastic, now let us clean that head wound._ "

* * *

As Dhani cleaned Ziva's bloody scalp, Eli and Rivka spoke with a counselor, Magda, a plump 50-year-old woman with her long grey hair in a bun, and a scowl on her face. Eli explained how Ziva had hurt herself on purpose, banging her head against the wall before trying to stab him. He gestured towards his wound.

Magda sighed, " _I am so sorry she hurt you, please, let us clean you up._ " Eli pretended to tear up, " _Thank you, that would be wonderful._ " Magda motioned to a nearby nurse, who led Eli to a nearby room.

As Eli was being bandaged, Magda spoke to Rivka alone. " _You can bring her clothing and things tomorrow so she may be more comfortable. Nothing with a string, nothing sharp._ "

After a few moments, Rivka finally spoke, " _My daughter is a good, kind hearted little girl, she meant no harm, please, help her_." Magda took Rivka's hand in her own, " _She will get all the help she needs here at Elyakim Hospital._ "

Eli returned to the cubicle where Magda was, " _Rivka, let us go home now, we need sleep._ " Rivka nodded and went with her husband to say goodbye to Ziva.

* * *

Ziva was sitting in the waiting area, crying. " _Zivaleh, this is for your own good. We will be back to bring you clothing. Be a good girl._ " Eli kissed her cheek.

Rivka teared up, " _I love you Ziva, listen to the doctors, okay?_ " Ziva nodded and wiped her eyes as her mother embraced her in a long hug until Eli patted her on the shoulder. " _Rivka, we should go_." Her mother sniffled and nodded. " _See you soon, sweetheart_." She said as they turned to leave.

* * *

Moments later, after Ziva's tears had subsided, Dhani showed Ziva to a room " _If you need anything, just press that button near the door."_ Ziva smiled, and quietly thanked Dhani. He left and closed the door.

She started unfolding the blankets to go to bed; when she heard the door open, she gasped.

An Arab man, Nathaniel, in blue scrubs entered, He grinned, _"A new playmate to have fun with._ " Ziva's eyes widened in terror as he moved closer.

Nathaniel chuckled evilly. Ziva, having changed in a hospital gown and non-slip socks, felt cold and scared. " _What is the matter, little girl? Don't you want to play?_ " He walked towards Ziva's bed.

She gasped as he took her cheek in his large hand, " _Such a pretty kitty."_ Nathaniel's other hand crept up Ziva's gown, " _Please, don't."_ Ziva said in a whisper, tearing up. " _Shh, it's okay little kitty, don't be afraid, I'm gonna make you feel all better."_ Nathaniel's hand inched up her thigh.

Ziva screamed, " _HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!_ " Being in a mental institution, her screams were ignored.

Nathaniel grabbed a rag from the pocket of his scrubs and held it to her mouth. Everything went black.

Suddenly Ziva was not there, she was in a room with an orange glow, a figure with hair of silver and piercing blue eyes approached her, holding out a hand, not saying a word. Ziva had never felt safer.

* * *

Two hours after Nathaniel was finished desecrating her young body, she awoke. Thankful he was gone; she sat up, her thighs aching from being violated. Scrunching up her paper-thin blanket, she looks between her legs and sees blood.

She cries softly as she curls up, her impossibly small body appearing even more tiny and fragile. Slowly she fell asleep.

 **A/N:Revised on 3/28/2016**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

* * *

At 6:30 am, someone knocked on the door of Ziva's room before entering. Ziva groaned sleepily. A smiling brunette in pink scrubs walked in, " _Morning, Ziva. My name is Alitzah; I'll be your nurse this morning. I just need to take your vitals and check your head wound._ "

Ziva didn't move. " _Come now, lets get you up sleepy-head!_ " Alitzah removed her blanket, and saw the blood on the sheets.

" _Oh, no! You got your menses? Here, let me grab you some feminine napkins._ " The 11 year old sighed, choosing not to tell her what happened, out of fear.

Moments later, Alitzah returned, handing her a pad, the pink color of the package matched the French manicure on the nurses hands.

Ziva rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. The room was about 8 feet wide and 10 feet long. Her wardrobe was just a cabinet with extra pillows until her parents brought her clothing. There was a rolling tray table in the corner with a pitcher of water and plastic cups.

Alitzah turned around for privacy, as she put the pad in her underwear and pulled them back up. At the foot of her bed was a small garbage can, where she threw the wrapper.

* * *

Ziva stayed silent as she sat back on the bed while Alitzah took her vitals and cleaned her head wound. " _Your parents will be by around 10 to bring you clothing._ _Breakfast will be brought to you at 8 am."_ She said dabbing Ziva's head wound.

Wincing at the cold alcohol, cleansing her bloody scalp, Ziva whispered, " _I'm not hungry._ " Alitzah didn't hear her over the whoosh of the blood pressure cuff deflating.

" _Ring if you need anything_." Alitzah said, smiling, before shutting the door.

Ziva laid back, hands under her head, staring up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes, falling asleep.

* * *

A knock at the door startled a sleeping Ziva, she shot up as the door opened. Alitzah walked in with a tray of food, some juice, and some pills.

She grabbed the rolling table from the corner; moved the water pitcher to the corner of it and put the food tray on it, rolling it carefully over to Ziva's bed.

"Here are some _eggs, toast, cereal, and fresh fruit. I also brought milk for your cereal and orange juice for your pills._ " Ziva eyed the pills dubiously.

The nurse chuckled, " _Don't worry, they're just pain meds and a mood stabilizer. You'll need to take them now so I can make sure you swallow them._ "

Ziva pursed her lips before exhaling. She put the pills in her mouth and quickly drank half her ice water, swallowing audibly. She opened her mouth and showed her nurse under her tongue to display that she had taken her medication.

" _Todah. I'll be back to check on you later when your parents come with your things._ " The young nurse skipped away happily; Ziva heard her knock on the door of her neighbor. _"Morning sunshine!_ " Alitzah's joyful voice would be heard through the walls.

Ziva stared at her breakfast, feeling more nauseous every second. She couldn't even think about eating after what had happened last night. She pushed the tray away and laid down, curling up in a ball, closing her eyes tight.

 **A/N: (Revised 3/28/16) Reviews make me happy and make me write more! Please review if you read! If you have suggestions, feel free to add some!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

Ziva had fallen asleep again, her breakfast sat untouched. At 10:15 she awoke with a jolt when Alitzah knocked on her door, before opening it.

" _Miss David, your parents are here._ " Alitzah smiled.

Eli and Rivka were standing in the doorway with a stuffed suitcase, smiling forcefully.

Ziva sat up, her leg dangling from under the scrunched up banket off the bed. Her hair was disheveled and frizzy from her unexpected nap.

Alitzah waved her hand as a gesture to tell Eli and Rivka to enter.

Rivka approached her with teary eyes, still smiling. She hugged her daughter tightly.

Eli looked somber as he kissed her head. " _Are you behaving, Zivaleh?_ " She didn't look up from her hands, which were scrunched in her blanket.

When she didn't answer, Eli began to get angry, Alitzah interrupted, _"Oh she's behaving, except,_ " Alitzah feigned a gasp, " _someone didn't eat their breakfast! Aw, not hungry huh? That's okay, maybe it's just nerves. Hopefully lunch will be better._ "

The bubbly nurse grabbed the tray off of the rolling table and took it out, she stopping at the door. " _I'll let you talk for a bit, Ziva has group therapy at 11, so I will be back to fetch her. It was great to meet you Mr. and Mrs. David!_ " She left with a skip in her step, as always.

* * *

Ziva still was looking down at her hands, her father sat on her bed while her mother unpacked the suitcases. Rivka moved quickly, while carefully folding her daughters clothing, a tear shed silently, rolling down her face.

Eli sighed, " _My little girl. Please be good for the doctors here,_ " Eli put his finger under her chin, Ziva's dead eyes staring at him, " _Rivka, can you give us a moment?_ " Mrs. David nodded and exited the room, closing the door.

Eli grabbed his daughter's face roughly, " _You will tell NO ONE that I disciplined you, you did this to yourself, Ziva. You threw yourself against walls, YOU burned your own flesh; you are a sick child; I am your doting, worried father. If you breathe a word of my disciplines to ANYONE, you will not live to regret it. Do you understand?"_

Tears formed in Ziva's eyes, and rolled down her cheeks. She nodded. Eli let go of her face, " _Good girl_." He kissed her head again.

Another knock on the door came; it opened slowly as Ziva wiped the tears from her face. " _Ziva, you have group in 5 minutes, say your goodbyes_." Rivka re-entered the room and hugged her daughter once more.

Eli stood up and hugged his little girl, kissing her on the head. " _We will visit again soon, my darling._ " They left, both looking sad.

* * *

In the hallway, a thin man in blue scrubs (Nathaniel) bumped into Eli, " _Oh, my apologies sir_." Nathaniel pats Eli on the back, whispering almost inaudibly in his ear, " _It is done._ " Eli nodded slightly as they keep walking in opposite directions, Rivka, none the wiser of the interaction.

 **A/N: (Revised 3/28/2016) reviews make me happy! Thank you so much to Debbie for your loyalty! Let me know what you think so far!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

In group therapy, Ziva sits curled up in a chair, her dark gray lycra skirt stretched over her knees.

The group was made up of 5 people, and a doctor.

To the left of Ziva was a 20-something girl, Simone, with a nose ring, and bandaged arms.

To Ziva's right was a teenaged boy, Rafi, with blonde locks hanging in his face, slightly covering the black eye he was sporting. ( **A/N: think Jesse McCartney 2003** ). He smiled slightly when Ziva looked at him.

Next to Rafi was Yael, a painfully thin girl, her age was difficult to tell, her eyes were sunken in and they had bags under them. She could have been 20 or 40.

Next to Simone, near the window was Nathaniel. Ziva was not pleased that she had to spend any time with him, especially since he stared at her with hungry eyes the whole time.

* * *

Dr. Vania Almen ran the group. She couldn't have been anymore than 35, with bouncy brown hair down to her shoulders, she sat in her chair.

" _Boker Tov, everyone. Welcome to group. Nice to see some familiar faces, and, oh, a new face! Introduce yourself, dear, what is your name, age, where are you from and what has brought you here?_ "

Ziva cleared her throat, " _Shalom, I'm Ziva_. _I'm eleven, and I'm from Beer Sheva. My father…brought me here._ "

The group responded in unison, " _Shalom, Ziva_."

" _Okay, group._ " Dr. Almen said, _"In our last session Rafi was telling us why he came to Elyakim, he said he ran away from home and got into a fight with the police. Rafi, do you feel badly that you ran away?"_

Rafi looked at the doctor with anger in his piercing green eyes, " _No. Why would I be? I had to get out of that house! My monster older brother was beating me every day!_ " He gestured wildly, the sleeves of his oversized blue sweatshirt falling down, revealing arms covered in bruises, some purple, some yellow and healing.

Dr. Almen sighed and shook her head. " _Rafi, the monster is not real, you don't have an older brother. Remember? You did this to yourself. That is why you are here._ "

Rafi scoffed, _"Whatever, man._ _I_ _know what happened. You don't wanna believe me; fine._ "

Dr. Almen closed her eyes, annoyed. " _Let's move on. Yael, how have you been doing? Have you stopped purging all your meals?_ "

" _Well the food here sucks so it's impossible not to._ " her voice gravelly from smoking and purging.

" _WELL, if you want to get out of here, you need to gain weight. You're only at 34 kilograms (74lbs) -"_ Yael interrupted, " _NO! No! I can't gain weight! I am so fat and stupid! I need to be perfect and thin!_ " She got up, her hospital gown swimming on her tiny 5'7" frame; she stormed out, Dr. Almen went after her.

The group sat quietly, until Nathaniel spoke, " _So, Ziva, you are a very beautiful girl, it would be a SHAME if something happened to you. Your father must be a good man to have brought you here._ "

Ziva didn't answer, she simply glared at the man who had raped her the previous night.

Dr. Almen walked back in, _"Sorry about that, where were we?_ "

Simone raised her hand. The white bandages on her arms were quite the contrast to her spiky orange hair. " _Yes, Simone?_ "

" _Can I go smoke?_ " The doctor sighed, " _No Simone, group is still in session for 10 more minutes._ "

" _That's not fair! Yael got to leave_." Simone pouted.

Dr. Almen ignored Simone, " _Let us move on to some good news. Nathaniel, this is your day with us. Finally, after six months here, you have gotten clean and reconnected with your 14 year old daughter, Eden_. _We're very proud of you and happy for you, Nathaniel._ "

Everyone applauded, except for Ziva. Nathaniel stood up, _"Please, please, your applause is not necessary. Thank you so much for being so kind. Oh, and Ziva, it was a_ _ **pleasure**_ _meeting you_. _Thank you to everyone who helped me through this tough time. G-d Bless and Shalom._ "

Everyone applauded again, making a line to hug Nathaniel as Ziva snuck off to her room while everyone was busy congratulating a man who had violated her.

 **A/N: (Revised 3/28/2016) I'm stopping this chapter here. More will come soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ziva entered her room and closed the door. She sat on her bed; her head in her hands, crying quietly.

Suddenly, the door opened. " _Ziva?_ " A small voice said. It was Rafi, the boy from group.

" _Haven't you ever heard of knocking?_ " Ziva mumbled, her hands still over her eyes. " _Sorry…"_ He sat on the bed next to her. " _You ran out of there pretty quickly_. _You didn't congratulate Nathaniel."_

She wiped her eyes, " _He's a bad man, Rafi. He doesn't deserve to go home._ " Rafi put a hand on the 11 year olds' shoulder, after seeing that she'd been crying. " _Why not Ziva?_ " He paused waiting for an answer. " _What did he do to you?_ "

" _I don't wanna talk about it._ " She inched away from the blonde haired boy, tucking her knees in, in an almost fetal position.

Rafi got up slowly. " _Oh, okay. Um…can I…"_ He searched for the right thing to say. " _Can I hug you?_ " Ziva sniffled and nodded, un-tucking her legs. The bed squeaked as she shifted to face Rafi.

Rafi embraces her warmly for a few seconds before pulling away. He stares right into her eyes, their faces inches apart. Suddenly he kisses her tenderly on the lips.

Ziva sits there shocked. " _Ziva, oh my gosh I am so sorry, I didn't mean to—."_ Rafi's apology is cut off the sudden look of fear in the girls' eyes as she stares past him at the doorway.

Eli stood there, eyes closed. " _Little boy, get out. NOW._ "

Rafi's head whips around quickly to see the angry man standing there, fists clenched.

Ziva whispers, " _Go, Rafi._ "

" _Yes, GO, Rafi, if you know what is good for you._ " Eli steps aside to let the boy pass, gesturing towards the door.

Rafi mouths 'I'm sorry' as he gets off the bed and practically runs out the door. Eli slams the door shut. He walks towards her slowly.

" _I came back because I had forgotten to bring you slippers. I went all the way home and brought them back, by myself. And for what?_ " Eli dropped the slippers on the floor with a thud as he stood over the young girl. Ziva kept her distance as much as she could.

His face got redder with anger. " _To find out my daughter really is what I thought she was? A whore?_ " He backhanded his daughters face.

" _You kissed a boy you just met? SHAME. Or is this not your first?_ _I will not be visiting you again. You are nothing to me now._ " He got up and left, slamming the door again, leaving Ziva on the bed.

* * *

Through Ziva's tears, she could see out the small slim window in her door that Eli was talking to Alitzah.

She saw Alitzah nod and write something down. Eli shook her hand and left.

Ziva sat back on the bed, sobbing. She was about to lie down when Alitzah opened her door suddenly. " _Hey, sunshine! It's time for lunch! What would you like?_ " The cheerful nurse handed her the lunch menu.

The girl wiped her teary eyes, " _I'm not hungry._ "

Alitzah sighed, " _Ziva, you did not even eat breakfast._ "

Ziva rolled her eyes and pointed at a random item. " _Great! I'll go put that order in._ " The nurse looked at her watch, it was 1:15. " _You can rest until lunch. Remember, you have art therapy at 3_."

Ziva closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face, once more, as she fell asleep.

 **A/N: (Revised 3/28/16)Sorry it's short, I know. But it'll get better soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 **A/N: this chapter deals with eating disorders, self-harm and thoughts of suicide. Please do not proceed if you will find it triggering.**

At 2pm, Ziva awoke from her nap, the world felt so quiet, she almost jumped when Dhani came in with her lunch.

He hummed happily as he entered, " _Shalom Ziva, here's your lunch- falafel with hummus, steamed veggies, and chocolate pudding for desert. Enjoy!"_ The sweet Arab turned to leave. " _Oh, and don't forget you have art therapy with Lila at 3!_ " He smiled and closed the door.

Ziva stared at her meal. The voice inside of her said 'You don't deserve this food, you are a whore and nothing but trouble.' Eli's words echoed in her head.

She stared at the wall, not touching her food, for what seemed like hours.

At 2:45, Dhani knocked on her door, " _Hey little one, you weren't hungry, huh?_ _Well, you need to get ready for art therapy, so get changed, no pockets allowed._ "

" _Um, okay…"_ Ziva said quietly. Dhani took her tray and left her to change, outside he whispered to Dr. Almen that she hadn't eaten, Dr. Almen tucked her brown hair behind her ear, " _Ugh, she better not be pulling a Yael_ , _I'll talk to her later._ "

Ziva got dressed for therapy, putting on a long navy flowing skirt and a simple cotton long sleeve tee.

* * *

In art therapy, Ziva, Yael, and Simone were the only ones there. Rafi was noticeably absent, their therapist, Lila, had yet to appear.

Ziva had her thick curly hair in a braid, a scarf keeping it out of her face.

Yael stared at her, " _What are you looking at?_ " Ziva asked.

Yael rolled her eyes a bit. " _I overheard Dhani talking to the doc about you. You wanna be like me, huh? Need tips?_ "

" _I don't know what you're talking about_." Ziva looked away.

" _You wanna pretend? Fine. But I know how to make it look like you've eaten when you haven't_." Ziva perked up at this.

" _How?_ " Yael moved closer to her and she whispered to her on how to trick the doctors.

Ziva smiled slightly. " _Thanks, Yael_."

She paused a moment, " _Simone. Where's Rafi_?" Simone shrugged, " _I think he got in trouble for something cause I saw him going into Dr. Yaakov's office_."

" _Who's Dr. Yaakov?_ " Ziva asked. " _He's the head honcho here—."_

Simone shut her mouth the second Dr. Lila Vanek walked in.

Lila was about 30; she was beautiful. Thin, tall, modelesque. Her blonde hair bounced as she walked, it just covering her name badge.

" _Shalom ladies. Oh! I see we have a newcomer! You must be Ziva_. _I'm Dr. Vanek, but you can call me Lila._ " Ziva smiled sweetly.

" _Okay, let's get started, here are your colored pencils, sharpeners, and paper. Today, I want you to draw a field of flowers; they can be any kind you like. Really express yourselves._ "

Ziva stared at the paper for about 5 minutes and thought of inspiration. Yael seemed to be drawing roses in what looked like a storm.

Simone was drawing what looked like rainbow daisies and daffodils.

Ziva began to draw sunflowers. On her second one her brown pencil broke at the tip. She reached for the sharpener. It was a small blue manual sharpener with a blade held in by a screw. 'Maybe I can use this' Ziva thought.

She saw Lila standing in the doorway talking to Dhani. Yael and Simone were both preoccupied with their drawings. Ziva slipped the sharpener in her knee high sock, the bulge hidden by her long skirt.

Simone didn't look up from her drawing, " _I won't tell. I just want you to know that_ _ **I**_ _know._ "

Ziva quickly grabbed another sharpener and sharpened the brown pencil. She continued her drawing. When she was finished, the field of sunflowers was under a bright blue sky filled with butterflies and a rainbow.

Lila came and looked at the girls' drawings, praising them. She then had Dhani take them back to their rooms.

Yael winked at Ziva as she left.

 **A/N: (Revised 3/28/16) Thank you for hanging in there with me, folks (aka Debbie). This story will indeed get happier, give it time, please. Thanks.**

 **If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, go to nationaleatingdisorders dot org to find out ways to get help.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

* * *

Ziva sat in her room, waiting for dinner, which she knew she wouldn't eat.

Magda came in with her dinner, " _Long time no see Miss Ziva. Here is your dinner_." She set it down on her table and left.

Ziva did exactly what Yael said, she cut her food up and spread it around to look like she'd eaten; hid some of it under her mattress.

At 6pm, Magda came back, " _Great job, Ziva. Glad to see you enjoyed it!_ "

Ziva smiled as Magda exited her room.

She looked out her window to be sure no one was watching her as she removed the sharpener from her sock. She turned away from the window and unscrewed the screw with the plastic spoon from her dinner.

She took the blade out and hid the rest under her mattress.

She pulled up her skirt on one side, exposing her thigh.

She sighed and focused as she drew the silver blade across her thigh three times. She felt invincible, strong and alive; in control and a rush she'd never experienced.

The blood dripped slowly onto her skirt, which was scrunched up on her bed.

She lay down and smiled, putting the blade under her mattress before getting comfortable and falling asleep.

* * *

November 20th, 1994 (5 days later)

As soon as he'd appeared, Ziva's only friend was gone. His parents took Rafi home.

He saw Ziva one last time, saying he would never forget her, they kissed again, mutually, and both cried as he was forced out.

Eli had kept his promise of not visiting. Rivka could not visit without her husband getting suspicious. Ziva felt more alone than ever.

-One Month Later-

Ziva groaned and rubbed her eyes. She guessed it was around 6am. If she was correct, then she knew someone would be around to take her vitals shortly.

She changed out of her pajamas and into her hospital gown.

Both of her thighs were covered in cuts, just high enough to not be seen in her gown.

Her arms hung like strings on her frail body, hipbones jutting out under the piece of material she was forced to wear for vitals.

She sat on her bed as Alitzah entered her room.

" _Boker Tov, Ziva. Come on, let's get up so I can take your weight first_." Alitzah sounded cheery, but she knew this was not going to be a pleasant result.

Ziva stepped on the scale. When she'd arrived at Elyakim Hospital, she weighed 31.75 kilos (70 lbs).

Ziva watched with baited breath as Alitzah moved the slider further to the left. The nurse sighed, " _Ziva, what is going on? You are only 26 kilos (57 lbs)_. _You are wasting away. If you don't get your weight up, you'll be forced to leave. You know we can't help those that don't want to be helped._ "

Ziva looked at her, face sunken in, " _Fine. Whatever._ "

The holiday was fast approaching, but it didn't matter.

The young Israeli couldn't feel anything anymore. She had no one who cared about her. She'd not received any Chanukah presents or cards.

-December 27th 1994-

* * *

Christmas Eve, the hospital had to discharge her due to her being uncooperative.

Her mother picked her up, not recognizing the skeleton that was her daughter. She knew that Ziva could not come home, and subsequently face the wrath of Eli.

She drove her only child to the airport, tears streaming down her face as handed Ziva an envelope.

Rivka explained had been saving up money from pawning her jewelry.

" _My sweet Ziva, this is for you. I am sending you to America to live with your cousin, Abraham. He is in the Navy, living on a base. You will be safe there._ "

Ziva cried, sobbing, " _Why Ima? Why can't you come with me?"_

Rivka sighed, putting her hands on her emaciated daughter's shoulders. " _I cannot explain, but I do hope you will understand._ "

She removed the gold Star of David from her own neck and placed it around her daughters. " _This is yours now, you will always have a piece of me with you. Always_." She held her daughter close, and whispered, " _At lo levad (you are not alone)_. _Okay_?"

Ziva nodded and wiped her eyes. Embracing her mother once more, she went to go board the plane to her new life in a new country.

 **A/N: (revised 3/28/16) I will most likely update in about a week, depending on my schedule. Ziva's life is about to get so much better in this next chapter. I promise! Thanks for the reviews!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The twelve-hour flight to West Virginia was over as soon as it started. Ziva slept most of the way and cried when she wasn't sleeping. The last 4 hours of the flight were spent studying English and English phrases.

Ziva, being very intelligent, already knew a lot of English by watching television and reading books in English since she was 2.

The little Israeli was very nervous about her new life and meeting her cousin.

Abraham hadn't seen his cousin since she was 6 months old. He was hopeful for her.

In his fatigues and shaved head, he held up a sign with the words- 'Welcome To America, Ziva!'

Ziva looked around carefully, clutching her mother's necklace on her neck. She saw the sign with her name on it and walked towards it.

Abraham saw her approaching and knelt down to her level.

"Is that my sweet Ziva?" the tan handsome man asked.

Ziva smiled slightly. " _Shalom_ cousin Abraham." He embraced her.

Abraham stood up, "Where are the rest of your bags, child?"

She looked down, " _Ima_ only packed one."

Abraham chuckled, "That explains why that suitcase is as tall as you! Here, allow me." He carefully grabbed her suitcase in one hand and took Ziva's tiny hand in the other.

* * *

The taxi took them back to the Nelson Naval Base, where Abraham resided.

The dark tall man opened the car door for Ziva and took her hand to help her get out.

Ziva looked around, there were men with guns strapped to their backs, which scared her a bit. They walked around, protecting the base.

Abraham took Ziva to his bunker. It looked like a small cabin on the outside; it was about the size of a trailer. She hoped he lived alone so she would have her own room.

Abraham had a weight room on the ground floor that he had converted to a bedroom as soon as Rivka told him of her potential plan. It was small, but comfortable.

"This will be your room Ziva. I know it looks plain but we'll decorate it once you get settled, okay?" Ziva nodded.

Abraham plopped her suitcase on the bed; his cellphone rang. "Meltzer." He answered. "Yeah, hold on a sec." He put his hand over the speaker and said quietly, "Why don't you start unpacking? I'll be back in a minute, okay?" He winked and smiled. "Yeah, what's up?" he said as he left the room.

Ziva started to unpack, putting away her sweaters and skirts. She turned around quickly to grab more items from her suitcase when she bumped into someone's leg.

Ziva gasped, "Sorry, sir! I didn't mean—"

He cut her off, "Hey, it's okay! I was in your space." He knelt down so he could look at her face to face. Her eye was black and blue and her gold necklace shone in the light from the hallway. He could see the pain in the young girl's eyes.

"You must be Mel's—uh Abraham's cousin. I'm Jethro, Gibbs. What's your name, little one?" The man smiled, his bright blue eyes looked kind and comforting.

She looked shyly at the handsome silver haired man in front of her. "Ziva David."

He held out his hand for her to shake it, "Nice to meet you, Ziva David."

She shook his hand. There was something so warm about this man, like he could protect her from everything.

Abraham walked back in, "Oh, great, you two have met. Sorry, Gibbs, I didn't let her know about you yet."

Ziva smiled up at Gibbs, almost giddily. "Aww that's okay, we were just getting to know eachother, weren't we Miss David?" He patted her on the head.

"Mm-hm." She said, never taking her eyes off of him, she felt like she'd drown in those pools of blue.

"I'll let you finish unpacking. It was nice to meet you, Ziva."

Ziva said dreamily, "Nice to meet you too Mr. Gibbs."

"Please, just Gibbs, or Jethro, if you'd like." He smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Gibbs." She said, almost in a whisper.

"Likewise. Mel, I'll uh, be upstairs, if you need anything." Gibbs left the room and headed to his room on the second floor.

Abraham sighed, "So, Ziva, you hungry?" he hoped, she would eat something now that she was out of that hospital.

Ziva shrugged. "Well, I'm going to make dinner for Gibbs and I, if you want some, feel free to sit with us." Abraham went to leave.

"Abraham? Why does Gibbs call you Mel?" He turned back around. "It's a nickname for my last name, Meltzer." He chuckled.

"Oh, that makes sense…" He turned to leave again. "Abraham?"

"Hmm?" He turned around again. "Can you sleep down here tonight? Just…for tonight?"

He approached her and ruffled her frizzy hair, "Oh course my Zivaleh. I'll stay down here as long as you need me to."

She smiled genuinely. "Thanks Abraham."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ziva had reluctantly come out of her room to have a little dinner. She ate 3 carrots and about a teaspoonful of mashed potatoes, mostly drinking her water. She cut up her chicken and moved it around the plate, hiding it in the mashed potatoes to make it look like she's eaten some.

"May I be…amused? No, excused? May I be excused?" The small girl asked.

"Of course, Ziva."

Ziva got out of her chair, took her plate and dumped the contents in the trash, putting the plate in the sink, washing and rinsing it, before putting it on the dish rack.

She walked back past the two men, who were laughing at a story Gibbs was telling. "He had grease paint all over his a—oh, hello, Ziva."

"Would you like me to take your flatware so I may wash them?" She asked, feeling obligated to do so.

"Aw, that's sweet. No, honey, I'll do the dishes, it's fine." Abraham went to put his hand on her sunken face when Ziva flinched. He pulled away.

She looked down sadly, "Sorry, I am just not used to—" Abraham cut her off, "I understand. It's okay. Go; get ready for bed. I'll come say goodnight in a bit."

"Okay, _laila tov_ Abraham, night Gibbs." She looked wearily at them, obviously tired.

"Night Ziva." They both said, almost at the same time.

* * *

At 1am Ziva had finally fallen asleep.

* * *

Ziva saw her mother and ran towards her for what felt like forever, never getting closer. Her mother yelled to her " _Run, Ziva!_ _You—."_ Rivka was cut off as she fell forward.

" _Ima!_ " Ziva screamed. Her mother was lying on the ground; the handle of a knife stuck out of her back as she bled profusely. " _No! No! Ima!_ " Ziva cried.

A hooded figure grasped the knife, ripping it violently from Rivka's back. The figure chuckled evilly.

He lowered his hood. Ziva cowered, backing away " _No, Nathaniel, no. Please, don't!_ " He grabbed her shoulders as she screamed, " _Help! Someone help me!_ "

* * *

Abraham shook Ziva by the shoulders. "Ziva! Wake up! You're having a nightmare!"

Ziva awoke with a shout. She looked up at Abraham and gasped, tears forming in her eyes. "Shh… it's okay." He pets her hair, trying to comfort her. She buried her face in his white tank, soaking it with tears, sobbing.

Gibbs came down the stairs in his boxers and white t-shirt. He stood in the doorway. "Hey, what happened?" He asked quietly.

"Sorry, Gibbs, she was having a nightmare." He whispered as he rubbed her back, feeling her spine that stuck out from her emaciated body.

Ziva started gasping for air. "Ziva? Ziva's what's wrong? Gibbs, what's happening?"

Gibbs rushed over to her as Abraham stood up, not knowing what to do.

"She's having a panic attack." Gibbs says calmly as he sat on the bed with her. He put one hand on her shoulder and another over the clenched fist in her lap. "Ziva, take a deep breath honey. It's okay. Breathe in." Ziva took a shaky breath, "Now let it out." She exhaled, still shakily.

"Good, keep doing it, okay? It's gonna be okay." She kept taking deep breaths until she stopped shaking. Gibbs never let go of her hand.

After a few moments she finally spoke, "Thank you, Gibbs." Tears rolled down her eyes again as Abraham stood in the doorway admiring how amazing Gibbs was with her.

"Hey, it's okay, anytime. You're okay." Gibbs kissed her on the head as he embraced her.

"You know what? I had a daughter and when she would have nightmares, when I was away, she had a teddy bear that she would hug and it would make her feel better. Actually, I might…" He trailed off as he got up and went upstairs.

She whispered to Abraham, "He said 'had', what happened to his daughter?"

Abraham sighed, still leaning against the doorway, "She was killed, sweetie, so was his wife. In a car accident." Ziva teared up more, "That is so sad."

"It sure is, she was—" Abraham stopped talking when he heard Gibbs walking back down the stairs.

Gibbs entered with his hands behind his back, "I thought maybe this could help you too." He presented her with a small slightly raggedy looking light brown teddy bear with a heart on its' stomach.

"I…I do not know what to say, I cannot take—." Gibbs put the bear in her lap. "You can, it's yours now."

Ziva took the bear in her hands, staring at it. "What was her name?"

"She used to call it Maddy. A combination of mommy and daddy." He chuckled.

"No, I was speaking of your daughter. What was her name?"

Gibbs sat next to her on the bed again. "Her name was Kelly. And I know she'd want someone special to have her Maddy."

Ziva looked at him through teary eyes, "I'm not special."

Gibbs put his arm around her, "Hey, are you kidding me? You are VERY special. Right Mel?"

Abraham stood up straight. "It's true, Ziva. You are very special. You are beautiful and strong. What other eleven year old do you know that could move to another country by her self? Or that could take a plane by her self? Hmm? A special one, a very special little girl."

Ziva smiled and hugged the bear tightly. " _Toda_ , Gibbs."

Gibbs squeezed her a bit, "You're very welcome, little one. You gonna be okay to try to sleep?"

Ziva nodded. The men went to leave.

"Can you…can you stay until I am asleep?"

Abraham walked back towards her bed, "Of course I—"

"I meant…Gibbs. Gibbs, can you? Please?" The silvered haired man smiled sweetly at her. "Of course I can." He looked back at his comrade, cocking his head towards the stairs, indicating that he could go sleep in his own bed instead of on the couch.

" _Toda_." She rolled over as Gibbs sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

"Gibbs?" She peeked one eye open. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about your family." Ziva said quietly.

Gibbs smiled slightly. "Thank you. Get some sleep, kiddo."

Ziva curled up and fell asleep within 10 minutes. Gibbs was afraid to leave and eventually he, too, fell asleep in the rocking chair.

 **A/N: (Revised 3/28/16) Long chapter, I know, but I hope this gets you guys interested in hearing more! Let me know! Thanks!- NCISSVUGirl09**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: This chapter deals with thoughts of suicide.**

Chapter 12

* * *

Gibbs' internal body clock woke him up at 5:30 so he could get ready for drills. The rocking chair hadn't been very comfortable but he slept well enough. He rubbed his eyes, and stifled a groan when he stood up.

Ziva was still sound asleep. The blankets were on the floor and her nightgown was bunched up to the middle of her thigh, displaying the self-inflicted cuts on the young girls skin.

Gibbs saw them and gasped internally, his face became somber. Almost tearing up, he picked up the blankets and placed them back over the Israeli's thin legs.

He kissed her head gently, as to not wake her, and then he left, closing the door quietly.

* * *

Ziva awoke at 9am, much later than she did at the hospital. She yawned and stretched, her hair messy from sleep. She got up and took her hairbrush off of the bureau.

When Abraham told Gibbs that his young female cousin was coming to stay with them, he decided to build the tabletop and attached an old mirror to the back. He even etched some flowers into the frame of the mirror.

Ziva sat on the edge of her bed and brushed her hair, putting it into a side braid. She then put on her long green skirt and a navy sweater to hide her cuts.

Exiting from her room, she found Gibbs and Abraham watching an old western on their small television in the living room.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Gibbs said as he took a big bite of his post-drill breakfast sandwich.

" _Boker Tov_." She said, smiling slightly. "What IS that?" She asked, pointing at the English muffin sandwich in Gibbs' hand.

He took another bite and swallowed "It's an English muffin, scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, cheese and spinach. Want one?"

Ziva heard the voice in her head again, 'you can't eat that. You're worthless. No one will ever love you, you deserve to die, whore!'

Gibbs waited for her to answer, not looking away from the television.

The voice was still screaming at her, 'There's plenty of knives in the kitchen; maybe you can cut off some of that fat on your wrists.' Ziva whimpered quietly.

The silver haired marine looked at the little girl. "Ziva? You okay?"

Ziva breathed heavily. She stammered "I—I ca-." Her eyes rolled back in her head as she fell to the floor.

Abraham stood up, running over to his now unconscious cousin, "Ziva! Ziva? Can you hear me?" He put his ear next to her mouth to be sure she was breathing. "Gibbs, she—she's not breathing! I—what do I do?!" Abraham panicked.

Gibbs rushed over to her, putting his fingers pressed to her neck "Her pulse is weak. Stand back, Mel. Call the infirmary." Gibbs put his ear to her mouth again, just to be sure. He began giving her mouth-to mouth, then chest compressions.

After three tries, Ziva gasped, her eyes shot open. "Oh thank God. Ziva don't move. You passed out, honey. They're gonna take care of you, okay?" Abraham almost shouted.

The paramedics entered the room with a stretcher. Ziva tried to speak, but nothing came out. She was grasping Gibbs' hand as if it was the last thing she'd ever do. As one of the paramedics put an oxygen mask over her face, Ziva breathed deeply, she felt like she was floating. She went limp and let go of Gibbs' calloused fingers.

"Stay with us, sweetie, you'll be okay." The female medic said.

 **A/N: What will happen next? Will Ziva make it? Check out the next chapter coming soon!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

* * *

Ziva woke up feeling groggy and in a fog. There was an infernal beeping that wasn't helping her pounding headache. She opened her eyes slowly; everything was so bright.

She saw Abraham sitting in a chair next to her bed. "Ziva? Ziva! Someone, come, please! She's awake!" Abraham sounded panicked and relieved.

An African American woman in lavender scrubs rushed in and looked at her vitals. She leaned over Ziva's bed, "Ziva, it's okay, my name is Marissa, I'm a nurse. You're in the infirmary."

Ziva tried to say something, moaning, tears rolling down her face.

"Don't try to talk, we had to intubate you, put a tube in your throat to help you breathe." The sweet young nurse took Ziva's hand. "Ziva, I need you to squeeze my hand once for yes, twice for no. Okay?"

Ziva squeezed Marissa's hand once. Marissa smiled. "Good girl. Ziva, do you want me to take the tube out of your throat?" Ziva squeezed her hand again, looking at her cousin.

Abraham put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm right here, Zivaleh."

"Okay, don't try to talk immediately, your throat is going to be very sore. I'm going to give you some painkillers in an IV to help." Marissa put the rail to the bed down.

She grabbed the little girls' hand again. "Okay Ziva, when I say 'go', I want you to exhale REALLY hard for me, okay?" Ziva squeezed her hand once. "Ready? Go!"

Ziva let out a hard exhale as Marissa pulled the tube out of her throat. Ziva cried silently. She wanted to speak so badly.

She moved her hands around in frustration. Then she mimed for a paper and a pen.

Marissa had one she was using to take notes on and handed it to Ziva, along with a pen.

Ziva wrote through teary eyes, Abraham watched her intensely as she wrote, thinking she would write 'I'm sorry' or 'thank you'.

She showed Abraham the pad, 'Where is Gibbs?' It said. Abraham chuckled. "Where IS Gibbs? He said he'd be right—." "I'm right here, Mel." Gibbs strode in with a slight smile on his face, holding the teddy bear he had given Ziva the night before.

Abraham stood up to allow Gibbs to get closer to his cousin. "Hey little one." Gibbs kissed her on the head. "Glad you're awake. You scared us."

"I'll give you a moment. I've got to get Ziva's pain meds anyway." Marissa smiled at Gibbs and left.

Ziva teared up, she wrote on the pad 'I am so sorry, Gibbs.' Underlining 'sorry' three times.

Gibbs sat next to her on the bed stroking her hair, "Hey, shh… don't cry, it's okay. You don't need to apologize, okay?" He wiped the tears from her face with his thumb.

Ziva sniffled and nodded.

Marissa reentered with an IV bag of pain meds. "I'm going to set this up so you can sleep a bit, okay?" Ziva nodded. The nurse attached the tube to the needle in Ziva's thin arm. "There you go. Get some rest, okay? If you need me, just press that red button next to you, okay?" Ziva nodded. Gibbs mouthed 'Thanks' to Marissa as she left.

Ziva started writing again; Gibbs stared at the paper for what felt like forever. 'I need help. I do not want to starve myself to death but I cannot help it, the voices in my head will not stop.'

"I know, sweetie. We're gonna work on that, okay? And we're gonna help you with your cutting too." Ziva looked away ashamed. She wrote again, 'How did you know?'

Gibbs sighed, "I saw it this morning. I wanted so badly to wake you and tell you that you are safe here." He embraced her again, pressing his lips to her forehead.

'I know, thank you.' She wrote. Ziva yawned. "You tired?" Gibbs smiled at her. She nodded. "Okay, we'll let you rest." He got up to leave and Ziva grabbed his hand. "Oh. Guess I'm staying." Gibbs chuckled. "You gonna be okay without me, Mel?"

Abraham walked over to the bed, "As long as Ziva is okay, I'll be fine." He kissed Ziva on the cheek. "Ani ohev otac (I love you)."

Ziva smiled as Abraham left, patting Gibbs on the shoulder as he exited.

Ziva yawned again. "Rest now, little one. I'll be right here when you wake up." He kissed her on the head again as he whispered, "I promise."

Ziva smiled sweetly as she closed her eyes, getting comfortable with the tubes in her arm.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reviews and love! I hope you like this so far! I do not have the next chapter planned out yet, but it will come soon! Have a great week!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 **A/N: Lines spoken in Hebrew are in itallics.**

* * *

January 5th, 1995

After a one-week stay in the infirmary, Ziva was admitted to Cresswell Hospital. She had to stay in the local hospital near the base. They specialized in eating disorders.

Abraham and Gibbs visited every Sunday; the nurses got to know them. One of the nurses, Callie, pointed that Gibbs called her Ziver, which became his official nickname for her. He'd say 'You're beautiful, Ziver.' She would melt.

She went through intense therapy in inpatient treatment and learned to love her self and food again.

She had gained back most of the weight she'd lost. She was at 30.8 kilos (68lbs), which was acceptable. She stopped cutting about 1 month in, after being threatened with being kicked out of the program if she could not stop.

* * *

Finally, on March 12th, she could go home to Abraham and Gibbs. She gave her friends hugs goodbye and thanked all the doctors and nurses for helping her.

Abraham picked her up in a taxi, while Gibbs put some decorations up in the house.

They arrived at the house 15 minutes later. Abraham took her suitcase out of the trunk and paid the taxi driver. They went inside. "Where's Gibbs?" Ziva asked.

Abraham pretended to not hear her. "My little Zivaleh, I am so proud of you for getting better." He kissed her on the cheek. "Now then, cover your eyes."

"Why?" She asked, smiling. "Just do it, come on." Abraham smiled back.

Ziva sighed, "Okay." She squeezed her eyes shut, covering them with her hands. Abraham opened the door to Ziva's room.

"Open them." Ziva dropped her hands as her eyes opened.

In front of her was her room, completely redone. The walls were painted a light pink. She had a canopy bed, complete with mesh curtains and a gold frame.

The floor had been carpeted; a closet was built with drawers and places to hang things. In the corner the rocking chair was still there, but it had been reupholstered in a purple floral pattern and was facing the window.

Ziva started to tear up. "I…this is beautiful…who?..." The rocking chair spun around. "Gibbs? You did all this?" He smiled widely, "Well, Mel helped me a bit and Marissa picked out some patterns but—" He was cut off by a hug from Ziva.

He pulled her into his lap, as Abraham watched from the doorway. "You like it?" Ziva had tears rolling down her cheeks. She smiled and nodded.

Gibbs held her close and kissed her forehead. "Welcome home, Ziver."

* * *

April 22nd, 1995

* * *

Ziva emerged from her room at 10am for brunch. She had been doing well in the past month. There were no disordered behaviors; her panic attacks were few and far between.

"Morning Gibbs, morning Abraham." She smiled at them.

The men were sitting at the kitchen table; Gibbs had his arm around Abraham, who looked like he'd been crying.

Ziva's smile faded, "What? What happened?" she walked over to her cousin and put her hand on his. She swatted her hair out of the way so Abraham could put his head on her young shoulders.

She gasped as her necklace fell off her neck. The chain had gotten caught in her hair and in her haste she'd not noticed. The gold pendant and chain lay in Abrahams lap.

Abraham picked up the broken piece of jewelry in his palm, putting Ziva's hand over it. " _I'm so sorry, Ziva. She is gone._ "

Ziva's eyes widened as she let go of Abraham's hand and backed away slowly. "No…. No..." Gibbs began to approach the girl as she realized what had happened, knowing she'd need comfort.

She slammed her fist down on the table "No! No! No! _Why? Why Ima? This is not real!_ " She breathed heavily before Gibbs put his hand on her shoulder.

"Ziver…." She turned to him, collapsing into his arms, sobbing.

She began to pray, " _El malei rachamim,_ _shochayn bam'romim, ham-tzay m'nucha n'chona_ …."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry, there was more suffering for Ziva. The next chapter will be written soon! Thank you again for staying with me! Reviews are welcome! If you have questions, feel free to inbox me! Have a great weekend!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 **A/N: Hebrew is in italics.**

* * *

April 23rd, 1995

Beer Sheva, Israel

* * *

The flight to Tel Aviv took 18 hours. From there Gibbs drove Abraham and Ziva to Beer Sheva, an hour away from the airport.

The rickety car Gibbs had rented was not so great on the road. "Gibbs can you please drive slower? My stomach is having dragonflies!"

Gibbs smirked, "Butterflies, Ziva. And I can't drive slower. Unless you want to miss everything."

Ziva pouted in the back. Abraham was somehow asleep in the front seat.

* * *

Gibbs put the car in park. Abraham was still asleep. Ziva had fallen asleep halfway through the car ride (despite Gibbs' driving).

Dangling a shoelace in front of Abraham's face, Gibbs lowered the end do it would just tickle his nose.

"Semper Fi!" Abraham yelled as he awoke with a jolt. Gibbs laughed heartily.

Ziva groaned in the back seat, " _Five more minutes, please._ "

Gibbs got out of the car and opened the back door, he pet Ziva's hair. "Come on, little one. You gotta get up."

Ziva rubbed her eyes and smoothed her hair before putting on her headscarf.

* * *

The two men and Ziva approached the _shul._ There were about 40-50 men there and about 45 women, not including the children. It was wonderful to see how loved her mother was.

In the distance, Ziva saw her father speaking with the Rabbi. Ziva hid behind Gibbs.

Gibbs felt her clutching the sleeve of his jacket. He turned to face her; then knelt down to be face to face.

His piercing blue eyes looked at her with concern and love. "Hey, you can do this. I'll be right by your side the whole time, okay?"

She nodded, looking down at her shoes.

Abraham walked over to Eli, slowly. " _Shalom, cousin. I am so sorry for your loss._ "

" _Abraham, I am surprised to see you, thank you for coming._ " Eli shook his hand. " _Where is my daughter? I would like to speak with her, in private._ "

" _She should be here in a moment._ " Abraham said. " _Good, have her meet me in meeting room 2."_

Abraham nodded, feeling unsure if this was a good idea to let her go alone.

Ziva walked in front of Gibbs, holding his hand the whole way through the crowded room.

Abraham took Ziva's free hand, leading her to the door of meeting room 2. " _Your father wants to speak to you in private_." Ziva looked scared she gripped Gibbs' hand harder. " _Gibbs and I will be right outside. Okay?"_ She nodded.

* * *

She knocked softly on the door. " _You may enter._ " Her father's voice sounded serious. He was sitting at a large conference table.

She stood in front of her former abuser. His eyes were dark, almost black. He arose from his seat; looked at her with rage. She swore she could see the steam coming out of his ears.

As Eli gripped her throat, she gasped. " _You scream and you will regret it. Understand?_ " Ziva squeaked out something, Eli took it as a yes.

He released her throat and backed her into a corner. " _You STUPID whore, it is your fault that your mother is dead._ " He backhanded her hard; she fell to the floor.

" _Get up, bitch._ " As Ziva slowly stood up, Eli kicked her in the stomach, sending her back down to the ground.

Ziva kicked his shin. Eli groaned at the pain. He growled loudly, " _You will pay for that!_ " He yelled; as he kicked her again as the doors flung open.

Abraham tore Eli off of the young girl, while Gibbs tended to her, making sure she was conscious.

Pinning Eli against the wall, he punched his cousin in the face. " _How dare you hurt her?!_ " He punched him once more. " _Your own daughter?!_ " He went to punch him once more as Gibbs put his arm in front of Abraham to stop him.

"Mel, that's enough!" Gibbs held him back from Eli.

Eli spat blood from his mouth on the floor. "Out! All of you! Get out! I never want to see you again!" He sat in a chair at the conference table, his sleeve stopping the bleeding from his mouth and nose.

Gibbs let go of Abraham and picked up Ziva in his arms, bridal style.

Eli pounded the table, " _Ziva, if I see you again, you will not be so lucky_."

Abraham growled as he slammed the door.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you again for the reviews and the encouragement! You guys rock! More is coming very soon!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 **A/N: Itallic text between this :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: indicates a flashback.**

* * *

April 25th 1995

* * *

Ziva had been checked for internal injuries while in Israel, she had a broken rib, but other than that, there were only bruises and emotional damage.

She'd fallen asleep on the 18-hour flight home. About 8 hours in, just over Paris, she had a nightmare induced panic attack.

Gibbs had to hold her for almost half an hour before she stopped crying.

He stroked her hair and told her how beautiful and amazing and SPECIAL she was. That she is loved and safe with him and Abraham. How sorry he was that he didn't insist on being in the room with her.

Eventually she fell asleep in his arms. He carefully placed her back in her seat next to him and covered her with a blanket. He put a pillow under his head and fell asleep against the window.

* * *

Back at home, in West Virginia- Ziva was very quiet and reserved. She hadn't spoken during the car ride home.

Upon arriving at the house, she went straight to her room and locked the door.

Abraham and Gibbs brought in their luggage and sat on the couch, turning on the television.

Ziva sat in the chair at her armoire. Surveying the damage done to her face in the mirror, she tied up her hair.

Ziva remembered a time when she was in Israel, her mother would do her hair for her.

 **::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

{Ziva, age 6}

 _Rivka smoothed her daughters' hair as she brushed it back._

" _My little Zivaleh. You are so sweet, so beautiful. I am sorry for how Abba has been acting as of late. He means well._ "

" _I know, Ima. I just wish he was nicer though._ "

" _He is just stressed, dear. He'll-." The door swung open, violently, cutting off Rivka._

 _Eli stood at the doorway, angry and smelling of wine. "Rivka! Why is my dinner not made?_ " _He grabbed the brush out of Rivka's hand. "Is Ziva distracting you with nonsense?!" He yelled as he threw the brush at the mirror, shattering it._ "

 **::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

Gibbs and Abraham heard glass breaking and rushed to Ziva's door.

Abraham gripped the doorknob. "It's locked." He looked fearfully at Gibbs. "Ziva! Open the door!" he knocked rapidly.

"Ziva! If you can hear me, I'm going to break down the door, step back!" Gibbs backed up, "Stand back, Mel."

Gibbs busted the door open with his shoulder. Glass was on the brand new carpet along with blood, leading to the closet.

He heard sniffling from behind the closet doors. "Ziva?" He opened the door slowly.

Ziva was curled up, her hair over her face and hands. Gibbs brushed her hair away from her face, revealing her bleeding fist.

He knelt down, seeing the tears in her eyes, he had to hold back his own. "Ziver? We gotta take you to get cleaned up, okay?" He took off his sweatshirt and wrapped it around her hand.

She stood up slowly as he helped her up and out the door to the car, driving her to the infirmary 5 miles up the road.

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter 17 will be up soon! Thank you again for reading and reviewing!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

* * *

Marissa was on duty at the infirmary; she carefully removed the pieces of glass from Ziva's hand before bandaging it. "I'll be right back, okay? I'm gonna go talk to Gibbs and Mel."

The nurse closed the door; she stood outside, and spoke to Gibbs and Abraham.

Marissa sighed, "Ziva told me that she was having a flashback to her childhood and all of a sudden she was bleeding and her mirror was broken." She paused "I think she may have some type of PTSD. I would suggest a therapist; we have some wonderful ones on the base."

Abraham spoke up, "What can we do in the meantime? Does she have to stay here or can she come home?"

"She can go home, however she will need to be on 24 hour watch for about a week." Marissa smoothed her hair back. "I suggest you take shifts, if you can."

"No worries, we'll watch her; keep her safe." Gibbs said, putting his hand on Marissa's shoulder.

"Great, uh, Mel, I'm gonna need you to fill out the discharge papers." The young nurse hands him the folder.

"Can I go in? See her?" Gibbs asked with hope in his eyes.

Marissa smiled, "She's been asking for you since she got here. You _better_ go see her."

He patted her on the back, "Thanks Marissa." He opened the door to Ziva's room. "Hey little one." He went to kiss her on the head; she turned away.

She stared out the window. "I am sorry, Gibbs. I am sorry I am a nuisance; I am trouble. I understand if you want to leave me here."

Gibbs felt tears forming in his eyes, "Ziver…" He walked around the gurney to face her, putting his hand on her un-bandaged one. "I could **never** leave you." He sat on the edge of the 'bed' and put his arm around her. " _At lo levad (_ You are not alone) _._ " He whispered to her before kissing her on the head.

She sniffled. "That is what Ima said to me before she sent me here."

"Mel taught me that during the war after my wife and daughter were killed. I had never felt more alone and I went into a deep depression. He knew what I needed to hear, and we've been best friends ever since."

He pulled her closer, "You are never alone, Ziver. Abraham and I have your back and are here for you, through the good and the bad."

* * *

Abraham and Marissa watched through the small window in the door. "He's so great with kids. It's awesome that he gets to be all fatherly again after losing Kelly."

"Yeah, it's gonna be real helpful when I have to go to Afghanistan next month." Abraham sighed.

"Does she know yet?" Marissa asked. "I haven't had the heart to tell her yet. I haven't even told Gibbs yet. I just found out a week ago." Abraham ran his hand through his hair.

* * *

Two days later, back at the house, Gibbs, Abraham and Ziva were eating dinner. Silence filled the room like a bubble.

Abraham sighed deeply. "I've been putting this off for too long…I really wish this could've happened at a different time." He rubbed his hand on his face. "In 2 weeks I have to serve in Afghanistan… for 3 months."

Gibbs almost choked on his mashed potatoes, "Damn, Mel, when were you gonna tell us?"

Ziva sat there silently, tears rolling down her face, not knowing what to say.

"Look, Gibbs, you know I don't have a choice." He stood up and went over to Ziva, sitting in the chair next to her. "And, Ziva, I'm sorry. But Gibbs will be here to protect you and I'll send you letters when I can."

* * *

May 15th, 1995

Ziva spent as much time as she could with her cousin before he had to be shipped out. She cried more than she ever thought possible; squeezing him so tight she left bruises.

He leaned in to whisper in Hebrew, " _You are strong, you are loved. Never forget how special and beautiful you are. I love you, dear cousin. Be a good girl for Gibbs."_

Abraham hugged Gibbs tight, thanking him for taking care of his young cousin. Telling him how much he means to him. "If I don't make it back…thank you for everything."

Gibbs wiped a tear away from his own cheek. "Hey, this isn't good bye, it's 'see you later'. Stay safe, man."

* * *

 **A/N: New chapter will come soon.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

* * *

June 28th, 1995

* * *

It had been over a month since Abraham had been gone. Gibbs and Ziva had grown much closer in that time.

Only having each other for support and companionship, they decided to get to know one another.

They sat on opposite ends of the couch, facing each other.

Ziva learned that Gibbs knew sign language and she was very interested in learning.

Gibbs learned that Ziva loved grapes and grape juice, but hated raisins.

He also learned that she had never felt loved before and didn't think she deserved love.

She thought her mother just felt bad for her daughter, and that she didn't truly love her. She thought that Gibbs felt the same way.

Gibbs scooted himself over to Ziva, "Hey. Don't you EVER think I don't love you." He embraced her small body so she was leaning against his chest. His arms were wrapped around her fragile frame.

He kissed her on the head. "I will ALWAYS love you, Ziva."

She closed her eyes, "You make me feel so safe, Gibbs. I feel like I've been waiting for a guardian angel and now I have one."

Gibbs chuckled. She could feel his laughter mixed with his heartbeat. He sighed deeply, "I'm no angel, Ziver." He stroked her hair.

She sighed, smiling. "Gibbs?"

"Yeah?" He stopped stroking her head.

"I love you, too." She almost whispered.

He chuckled again, "I know, kid." He kissed her on the head again.

They sat in silence, Gibbs held her, lovingly. "Hey, how about we watch a movie? Let's see what's on."

He was about to reach for the remote when he heard Ziva snoring lightly. He smiled and closed his eyes. Falling asleep.

* * *

July 1st, 1995

* * *

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The sun shone through Ziva's window; she was laying in bed, thinking about her mother, thinking about happy times.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at her door. "Ziver? You awake?"

"Yes, you may enter." She sat up, her hair messy from slumber.

Gibbs entered the room, holding a letter in his hand. There must have been about 8 stamps on it. "You uh, you got a letter from your dad." He set it down on the bed. "I didn't open it or anything, but uh…it's…unexpected."

"Oh, I guess I'll open it…" She sat there with her hand on the letter. After about a minute, Gibbs sat on the bed. "Ziver? You want me to do it?" She nodded.

Gibbs opened the letter carefully. He looked at it with concerned eyes. Running his hand through his hair, he exhaled forcefully.

"Gibbs? What is it? What does it say?" She asked on baited breath.

"Your dad, uh, Eli, is um, relinquishing custody of you. He is…" he looked at the letter hard, his blue eyes almost tearing, "He's terminating his parental rights."

Ziva sat there with tears in her eyes. "So, what is going to happen to me, Gibbs?"

"Well," he sighed, "it says here that you can either go into the custody of the state of West Virginia, or be fostered or adopted."

Frustrated and upset, Ziva put the blanket over her head. "Who would want me? I am 'nothing but trouble' according to my father." Her voice was muffled, but he could hear her sniffling.

Gibbs got up off the bed and lifted the blanket. He got under the covers with her, the blanket covering them both completely. He put his finger under her small chin. "Hey, Eli is NOT your father anymore. And you are not trouble."

Ziva smiled slightly, her teary brown eyes staring into his blue ones. " _Toda_ , Gibbs."

He kisses her cheek. " _Beva'ka'sha, bat sheli. (_ You are welcome, my daughter)."

Ziva gasped with a smile, "Gibbs? Does this mean…?"

"My sweet Ziver, you have always been my daughter, from the moment we met. Now we can make it official. If…that's okay with you?"

"Are you being messy with me, Gibbs?" Ziva looked at him with wide eyes, full of hope.

"No, I am not **messing** with you, Ziva. While Mel is away, I will be your legal guardian."

Ziva tackled him in a big hug around his neck. "I do not know how to express my…fortitude? No- gratitude. I am so grateful, Gibbs."

"No, I'm the grateful one, I am grateful to have an amazing young lady like yourself in my life. Love you, Ziver." He kisses her head. "Come on, let's go have breakfast."

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter should be coming soon, thank you for your patience. My 27** **th** **birthday is tomorrow (4/9) and I am so happy to have made it this far in life! I have been in anorexia and bulimia recovery for 7 years and self harm recovery for almost 5. Recovery is possible.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 **A/N: I do not know much about the armed forces; and I know the upcoming chapter is not the correct protocol, so forgive me. I made things happen in the way that they do for the sake of the story.**

* * *

August 15th, 1995

* * *

At 7 am, Gibbs came back from drills; Ziva was already up, having breakfast.

" _Boker Tov,_ Gibbs." Ziva put a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.

"Morning, little one." Gibbs walked over to her; kissing her on the head, "You excited for Mel to come home?"

She smiled, nodding, her mouth full.

Ziva had been doing very well in therapy and her eating disordered behaviors were few and far between. She had only cut herself twice in the past 3 months, telling Gibbs immediately after.

Gibbs was excited to see the young woman this little girl could become. She was strong, beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and determined. It was a little exhausting having a pre-teen under his care for 3 months, and they only got into one argument when Gibbs was frustrated that Ziva was hurting herself.

They went to family counseling to talk things out with a mediator and it was much better since then.

* * *

After breakfast, Gibbs and Ziva went to the airfield on the base to wait for Abraham's plane to land.

Ziva held onto Gibbs' hand as they stood there excitedly.

The returning crew consisted of 20 soldiers, 2 officers, and 4 medics. The soldiers got deplaned first.

After about 18 people came through, Ziva asked, "Gibbs, where's Abraham?"

The last two soldiers exited the tarmac, followed by the two officers. One of the men, Officer Samuel Erickson, was holding a folded American flag in his arms.

They approached Gibbs and Ziva, they both saluted, then joined hands again.

Gibbs saw the flag in Erickson's hands and knew immediately what had happened. Gibbs cursed internally, knowing what was about to be said to him. He gripped Ziva's hand tighter.

Officer Peter Petrowicz, a tall man with dark brown hair, spoke, "I have been asked to inform you that Abraham Meltzer has been reported dead in Tezin, Afghanistan at 1330 on August 13th, 1995. He was driving himself back to the base when his car went over an undetected IED. On the behalf of the Secretary of Defense, I extend to you and your family my deepest sympathy in your great loss."

Slowly, the dark haired officer knelt down to Ziva, placing his hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry." He handed her a folded up piece of paper.

Ziva stared at it with tears in her eyes. The note said ' חזק ואמץ' (be strong).

"No, no, no, no." She gripped on to Gibbs' jacket, sobbing. Gibbs held on to her. "No! Why?" Ziva cursed in Hebrew, then began to recite the _kaddish_ (Jewish prayer of mourning).

* * *

September 2nd 1995

* * *

It had been just over two weeks since Abraham's funeral. Gibbs still had to go for drills and training, leaving Ziva by herself most days.

Since her cousin was killed, Ziva rarely left her room, she wouldn't eat, Gibbs had to practically force her.

She began having nightmares. Gibbs found himself sleeping in the rocking chair in her room again.

Ziva began cutting again; Gibbs saw the blood on her sleeve one morning as she was eating breakfast. He wasn't angry, but sad.

He decided to talk to her after she'd finished breakfast. He knocked softly on her open bedroom door. "Ziver?" He entered as she looked up from her book. "We need to talk."

She and Gibbs talked for hours; she told him about the voices in her head, she cried so hard she could barely breathe. He made sure to take her to therapy the next day.

* * *

After their sessions with the therapist, Ziva would only speak when necessary, mostly nodding, shaking her head and shrugging.

Gibbs tried to get her to talk, but she would not. One day after drills, an idea popped into his head.

He knocked on Ziva's door, even though it was already open. She was lying down, facing the window.

He crouched down to be level with her. "Get up, we're gonna do something today."

Ziva shook her head before rolling over. "Not a suggestion, Ziver." He yanked the blanket off of the small girl. "Put on some work out gear. We leave in ten."

* * *

Ziva had a pair of navy blue sweats that Abraham had given her after shortening them and banding the bottoms. They were a bit large on her, even with the drawstring pulled tight, hugging her jutting hipbones.

Her gray off-the-shoulder sweatshirt had her elementary school emblem on the front in white lettering. Gibbs lent her a white undershirt tank that she knotted at the bottom so it would be more fitted.

When they arrived at the gym, Gibbs re-laced Ziva's sneakers.

Ziva finally spoke "What are we doing here, Gibbs?"

The silver haired man grabbed something out of his bag. He presented the young Israeli with a small pair of red boxing gloves.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for staying with me through this chapter. Time jump will be coming soon, just a warning. Thanks again for reviewing and reading!**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 **A/N: Excited to introduced another NCIS character in this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

September 25th 1995

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva had been training in the gym for almost a month. Ziva loved boxing. It helped her get out all of her aggression and frustration. When she hit the bag, she felt like she was invincible.

Gibbs was more than happy to train with her, she smiled more, she glowed; she gained muscle. But the best part was the confidence she'd gained.

They were finishing up a session, resting on a bench in the corner of the gym. "So, Ziver, your 12th birthday is in 2 weeks. What do ya wanna do?"

Ziva shrugged. "Maybe we could go off base, like to the mall?"

Gibbs laughed, "You may be my little ninja, but you are still a girl." He kissed her head, not caring if it was sweaty. "Of course we can go to the mall."

* * *

November 12th 1995

* * *

On Ziva's 12th birthday, Gibbs and Ziva went to Meadowview mall. "So, where to first?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva looked around nervously, "Um…I was thinking…maybe…Victoria's Secret?"

Gibbs spaced out for a moment, he shook his head, as if to clear it, "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that correctly. Did you say the toy store? Because that would be the correct answer."

Ziva smiled and stood in front of him, she put her hand on his arm, "Gibbs, I am not 5 years old. I am growing up. You are just going to have to accept that."

"Oh, Ziver your shoe is untied, lemme just get that." He bent down quickly, pulling his hat down to hide his face. "Nope, don't move, not done."

The young girl looked confused, "Gibbs, what's going on? You're acting weird…"

Ziva heard the clicking of heels behind her, "Jethro?" A woman's voice said.

Gibbs stood up, putting his hands on Ziva's shoulders. Standing in front of them was a beautiful red head.

She had her long hair in a ponytail; she was wearing a blue button down and jeans that hugged her in all the right places. Gibbs looked at her, in disbelief. "Jen, wow, I haven't seen you since—"

"Paris." She interjected. "How are you?" She looked at Gibbs with love and lust, her lips pouting slightly.

Gibbs scratched the back of his neck, "I'm uh, I'm good. I uh…"

"Hi, I'm Ziva." The Israeli interrupted Gibbs' stammering. "I am Gibbs' daughter." She extended her small hand to shake the womans' manicured one.

"Nice to meet you, Ziva, my name's Jenny, Shepard. Gibbs, I was unaware you had a daughter." Jenny smiled at Gibbs, raising her eyebrow.

"Uh, adopted, Jen. It's a…long story." They stood there staring at each other.

Ziva cleared her throat, snapping Gibbs out of his trance. "Oh, um, so…what have you been up to? You still with NIS?"

"It's uh, NCIS now, and yeah I'm the director." Jenny hands him her business card.

"Wow, that's great, Jen, good for you." Gibbs smiled at her, getting lost in her eyes again.

Ziva piped up, "Gibbs doesn't want to take me to Victoria's Secret."

Gibbs blushed, stammered, "Well I, uh, I mean, she's…yeah."

Jenny crouched down to Ziva's level. "Well, I don't have any plans for the day so, why don't I take her, Jethro?" She smiled up her former lover.

"Oh, I don't wanna take up your day, Jen." He smiled at her, hoping she would still agree to take the girl to the lingerie store.

"It's not a problem, Jethro. It'll give me a chance to get to know your daughter."

Jenny took Ziva's hand and they went into the store; while Gibbs sat in the middle of the mall, sipping coffee.

* * *

While Ziva and Jenny were in the store, Jenny asked her about where she came from and a bit about her past.

She told her about how her mother had passed and how her father had given her up.

Jenny came to feel like she'd known her forever by the end of their shopping trip and promised to keep in touch.

Gibbs was practically asleep in the chair they'd left him in. "It's about time, I was afraid you were gonna max out my card."

Ziva laughed. "I had a lot of fun with Jenny, Gibbs. Thanks for shopping with me Jenny." The young girl hugged the red head tightly.

"Oh! It was my pleasure." Ziva let her go. She went up to Gibbs, smiling, "This one's a keeper, Gibbs. She's something special." Jenny said as she hugged him.

She whispered in his ear, "It was great to see you, Jethro. You look good."

Gibbs practically giggled, biting his lip to hold back his giddiness. "You too, Jen. Thanks."

Her ponytail swung as she walked away, turning around briefly to wave goodbye to Ziva again.

Gibbs stood there with a big grin on his face. "Come on Ziver, time to go home."

* * *

 **A/N: fluffy chapter, I know but it's setting up the next one.**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 **A/N: This chapter contains a time jump to speed along the story. Thanks for staying with me! **Hebrew is in Italics****

* * *

January 5th 1997

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva had been living with one another on the base for over a year. Gibbs was still trying to legally adopt 13 year old Ziva; the paper work was long and the interviews with the agency even longer.

Unfortunately, just before Ziva was able to be Bat Mitzvah'd, Ziva's uncle Mordechai found out that his young niece was living in America.

He wanted her to come back to Israel for her coming of age ceremony, even though Eli had given up his rights.

When Mordechai found out that Ziva had been living with a man, he was furious that this was allowed to happen. He said " _How is she to study the Talmud when this man knows nothing of it?_ "

He decided to sue for custody of Ziva so he could take her back to Israel. The judge granted him full custody because he was, in fact, family.

Ziva couldn't take being away from Gibbs. When the judge issued the ruling, she screamed, cried, kicked, she couldn't breathe. She shouted, "Gibbs, how could you let this happen? Please don't let me go with them! Please!" The tears in her eyes were heartbreaking.

* * *

A mere 48 hours after the judge's ruling, Ziva was forced to go back to Israel. He was not allowed to have contact with her until she was 16.

Ziva didn't eat or sleep for those two days and was so weak that her uncle had to carry her onto the plane. She knew that resisting was useless.

Gibbs, left alone to his own devices, began drinking heavily. He was constantly late for drills, he hadn't shaved in weeks, and his fellow officers were concerned.

They had no choice but to dishonorably discharge him. He packed his things and phoned a friend.

"Hey, it's Gibbs, mind if I stay with you a couple of days?" He paused, listening, "It's a long story. I'll tell you about it later. Thanks. I'll catch a cab. See you at 1630? Great. Thank you, again." He hung up, called the taxi; who drove him to his temporary home.

* * *

He grabbed his bags from the trunk and paid the driver, knocking on the door, he waited for an answer.

"Jethro, you're early." Jenny looked surprised, "And you're…hairy. Wow, when was the last time you had that much hair on your face?"

Gibbs chuckled, "Keep that up and I'll be gone by tomorrow."

Jenny laughed, he loved her laugh; it was like music. "Hey! Who's doing whom the favor here?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, uh…thanks again." They stood in the doorway, staring at each other.

Jenny glanced at his bags, "Oh, my goodness, sorry Jethro, please, come in."

He rolled his suitcase across the hardwood floor, surveying his surroundings, "Nice digs, Jen."

She smiled, "Thanks, welcome to casa Shepard."

Gibbs smiled at her, his eyes widened in excitement, "Oh man, do I smell steak?"

She played with her ponytail, before leading him into the dining room. "Well, I knew you were coming, so of course, I had to cook steak! I also made mashed potatoes and there's beer in the fridge."

Gibbs kissed her cheek before sitting, "A woman after my own heart." Jenny blushed; then looked confused.

"Jethro, you… reek of booze. I know you love scotch but you smell like a frat party." She looked at him with concern.

Sitting next to him, she put her hand on his shoulder. "What's going on?"

He sighed, "Like I said over the phone, it's a long story, Jen. Let's eat, we'll talk about it later."

* * *

The only things said during dinner were "pass the salt." and "this is good." Which made for a very awkward meal.

After Gibbs cleared the plates and put them in the sink to soak, he joined Jenny in the living room, sitting on the couch while she sat on a chair. "Thanks for dinner Jen, I really enjoyed—"

"What happened to you, Jethro?" Jenny cut him off, focusing on a serious subject. She sat next to him on the couch. "Talk to me." She put her hand on his knee.

Gibbs looked at her hand, remembering when they were in Paris, making love; running in the streets like kids. He remembered how much fun they had, how free he felt, how in love he was.

After a moment of silence, "My daughter—Ziva, she was forced to go back to Israel." Jenny gasped quietly.

Gibbs had anger in his eyes, "I…I felt like I lost a daughter, again, and AGAIN, there was nothing I could do about it. I can't even contact her until she turns 16." He ran his hand through his thick silver hair.

He exhaled forcefully, "I'm afraid for her, Jen. I'm afraid of what they're gonna do to her." He blinked, "I'm afraid I'm never gonna see her again."

* * *

 **A/N: thank you for the patience and reviews guys! More is to come for Ziva, Gibbs, and Jenny!**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

 **A/N: Hebrew is in italics, as always. T/W: This chapter has graphic depictions of self-harm and sexual abuse of a child. Please do not read if you will be triggered.**

* * *

January 7th, 1997

* * *

Rafat, Israel

* * *

Ziva arrives at her uncles' home; he lives alone, his wife had passed 5 years prior and his daughter is in college. The home was an hour and ½ outside of her hometown of Be'er Sheva, where her father resided.

Mordechai leads Ziva to a room upstairs. " _This was Shira's room, before she went to University, I hope you find it acceptable_." He walks towards the door, " _Oh, and Ziva…supper is at 6, I expect you to set the table. Do NOT be late, I do not tolerate tardiness._ "

Ziva plops her suitcase on the bed before opening it. She takes out a photo of her and Gibbs and places it on the bedside table.

She sits on the bed and stares at the photo. She touches it, thinking of Gibbs, hoping he is thinking of her.

She sighs deeply before unpacking the rest of her things.

* * *

At dinner, Mordechai and Ziva sit quietly, eating. Ziva takes small bites and pushes her food around on her plate.

" _Uncle Mordy, am I going to get to go back to school?_ " Ziva asks, with pleading eyes.

Mordechai chuckles, " _You are a woman now, 13 years of age! You will not need education. You will learn to fight to prepare for the Israeli Army._ "

She stands up, " _But I am only 13, Uncle! The Army will not call for me for 4 years!_ " She pounds her fist on the table.

Mordechai gets up and walks over to his niece. He grasps her wrist. Pulling her towards him, his eyes darken with anger. " _I see you have forgotten your manners during your time in America. You will do what I say when I say it._ "

Ziva teared up slightly, she felt like she was back home with her father. She felt alone and scared.

* * *

After she did the dishes, she took a knife from the drawer and hid it in the waistband of her skirt.

She said goodnight to her uncle, and got ready for bed. Lying in her new room, so many thoughts went through her mind. She heard voices telling her she deserved whatever punishments would be dealt to her.

She just wanted them to stop screaming. Ziva grabbed the knife she'd taken from the kitchen drawer and looked at the blade.

She rolled up her sleeve to the elbow and slowly began to cut her untouched arm. The horizontal lines looked like stripes as they bled slowly, dripping onto her skirt.

She stared at her crimson arm for a few moments before removing her headscarf and creating a tourniquet.

She lies back down and rolls over on her side. Tears staining her face as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

At 0200, her door creaks open, Ziva, still asleep, doesn't notice someone getting into bed with her. She feels her weight shift and she wakes up.

She groans, thinking she is just dreaming, before she feels a hand on her thigh.

She gasps and sits up straight. " _Uncle, what are you doing?!_ "

He chuckles drunkenly, " _Don't act surprised, Shira. You know our routine. Let Abba do what he wants._ "

She gets out of bed. " _I am not Shira!_ " She shouts.

Mordechai laughs heartily, " _You cannot escape me, Shira._ " He gets off of the bed and stumbles over to her.

Grabbing Ziva by the waist, he pins her against the wall. His unzips his trousers.

Upon hearing the sound of his zipper, Ziva knees him in the groin.

Mordechai released her to tend to his pain. He growls loudly, grabbing her by the neck.

" _You stupid bitch!"_ His hand still around her throat, he slams her against the wall once more. " _You will pay for that, dearly, my girl._ "

His grip tightens around her small neck as he enters her roughly. Her vision slowly fades to black as her air supply is cut off.

* * *

 **A/N: I know, another terrible thing done to Ziva. Fear not, nnother time jump is coming, along with good things for our little lady. Thanks again for staying with me here!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

* * *

June 2nd, 1997

* * *

Just outside of Washington, DC, Gibbs and Jenny had been living together for almost 6 months.

After months of not hearing from Ziva, he was definitely worried, but knew he'd be breaking the law by contacting her.

Jenny had seen how depressed he'd been and tried to get him a job at NCIS. At first he did not accept, not wanting to be seen as desperate or incapable, then, after some…persuasion, he agreed to try a job in the sub basement, organizing case files.

* * *

In the sub basement of NCIS, Gibbs locked the drawer to the filing cabinet. He turned around to leave for the night and bumped into a shorter man in suspenders and a bow tie.

"Oh, pardon me, young man." The man said while adjusting the glasses on his face.

"Oh, no, my fault." Gibbs replied as he looked at the man curiously. "Are you Doctor Mallard?"

The Scotsman looked at him with confusion, Gibbs clarified, "Oh uh, Jen—uh, Director Shepard told me about you."

The doctor laughed, "Oh my, well welcome to the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. Please, call me Ducky, I'm the medical examiner." He shakes Gibbs' hand.

"Nice to meet you, Ducky. I'll uh, see you around." He grinned as he left.

* * *

Back at home, Gibbs and Jenny ate dinner. "Jen you are a wizard, this is amazing." He said as he stuffed his mouth with a piece of meatloaf.

Jenny smiled, "Thank you, Jethro." She took a bite of asparagus.

"Oh! I met Doctor Mallard, uh, Ducky today." He smiled.

"Oh, that's nice. I'm glad you're making friends." Jenny finished her mashed potatoes and her water and picked up her plate. "Are you done?" She asked him as she stood up.

He nodded as she took his plate. He heard the water running and shut off. Jenny returned to the room. Gibbs got up to get more water. "Thanks again, Jen. Really. What's for dessert?"

Jenny walked over to him, caressed his face and kissed him. "How about dessert in the bedroom?"

Gibbs bit his lip, smirking. "My favorite." He growled playfully as he lifted her up, carrying her up the stairs.

* * *

November 12th, 1998

* * *

It had been just under 2 years since Ziva had been taken from him. Today was her 15th birthday, and here he was, in America, unable to celebrate with her.

In October of last year, Jenny had broken up with Gibbs, he had moved up in the ranks at NCIS and it would have been a conflict of interest if they'd been dating.

Gibbs was reassigned to the Major Case Response Team (MCRT) after only a year at NCIS, quickly moving up the ladder. First he was in the sub basement, next in the ballistics lab; he tried the technology unit, but just couldn't get used to computers, they were still new for everyone but he wanted to punch them.

Finally, his friend Mike Franks approached him. Franks was about to retire to Mexico, and there would be a spot open in MCRT.

He had an interview with Jenny, who, of course accepted him as a member of the team. She warned him "No funny business, Jethro." Which made him laugh.

After six months as a probie his team leader had a heart attack and was forced to resign before the job killed him. Naturally, Gibbs was chosen as the new team leader.

* * *

Gibbs team consisted of three men and him self. Well, more like three boys, according to Gibbs.

He'd find himself thinking 'These probies just get younger and younger.'

His most senior field agent was Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo, a 20 something former Baltimore cop who loved the ladies as much as he loved movies.

Next was Stan Burley, a handsome former naval officer on the USS Enterprise. He and Gibbs butted heads a bit, both being stubborn, but he was a good worker who was passionate about getting justice.

Finally, there was Brent Langer, he'd already been on the team for over a year and was bitter about Gibbs being leader and not himself. He interacted with Gibbs as little as possible, and often goofed off with Tony.

Despite their differences, they made for a good team, taking down terrorists left and right. Gibbs finally felt wanted.

* * *

At NCIS, Gibbs had a photo of Ziva and himself at his desk, it took him a long time to buy a frame, because he couldn't look at the picture without tearing up.

He stared at the photo while sipping his coffee. Tony stood behind him, "Who's that, boss? She's cute."

Gibbs shot him a glare, "That is…the daughter of a friend of mine, DiNozzo."

Tony raised his eyebrows, "Oh, like your Goddaughter?" Tony gasped, "Are you the Godfather?" He said, doing his best Marlon Brando.

Gibbs chuckled; then sighed, "Don't ever change, DiNozzo."

"Wouldn't dream of it, boss." Tony said as Gibbs phone rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs." He paused, listening to the voice on the other end. "Thanks." He hung up. "Grab your gear, got a dead Marine at Quantico."

Gibbs and the team headed for the elevator.

* * *

 **A/N: Another time jump is coming. Thank you again for sticking with me! You know who you are! I hope you're enjoying this!**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

 **A/N: Hebrew is in Italics. T/W: Sexual abuse of a child.**

* * *

November 12th 1998

* * *

Rafat, Israel

* * *

On Ziva's 15th birthday, she should have been celebrating, instead she was doing what she was forced to do everyday. Survive.

Her uncle sent her to a training camp 3 months ago. At 15, she was the youngest on level 1. There was an 11-year-old boy who was already a level 3.

She had a black eye, a busted lip and bloody knuckles from 'training'. Training consisted of an older 'soldier' sparring with a trainee.

Ziva was paired with those much bigger and stronger than her. On her own birthday, she was paired with Valeria Jones, an African American 18 year old who had already served a year in the army.

Ziva was more than annoyed, she was almost scared, she couldn't take much more of being beaten. Within seconds, she was knocked to the ground. Her Sergeant, Wilhelm Paulson, yelled " _Get up! Now!_ "

She sat up slowly, her bruised ribs stinging. Sgt. Paulson was about 35; he had greasy blonde hair and had more muscle than anyone she'd ever seen. He stood next to her, yelling in her ear, " _Do you have ears, David?! I said, GET UP."_

She shook her head, " _No, no more."_ She begged.

Paulson grabbed her by her ponytail, Ziva cried out. He whispered in her ear, " _You listen to me, you stupid little bitch. You know what will happen if you disobey my orders_? _Hmm?_ " He threw her to the ground.

The Sergeant pointed to Valeria, " _Jones! Tell little Miss David what happens to female soldiers who disobey me_."

" _They have the privilege of being your bunkmate for a night, Sir!_ " Valeria stood at attention.

Paulson chuckled, " _That is a very nice way of putting it, Jones._ _You are dismissed._ " Valeria saluted before exiting the gym.

* * *

" _With me, girl."_ The sergeant grabbed her wrist and practically dragged her to his office on the other side of the gym.

Ziva knew not to protest, as her punishment could be worse. He shoved her against the wall; face first, then tied her hands together with cuffs from his drawer. He roughly turned her around and kissed her.

She grimaced as his tongue entered her mouth. His hand snaked up her shirt and squeezed her small breast roughly.

He pulled away. " _You scream, you die._ " His mouth devoured hers again as he unzipped his pants.

* * *

Ziva, not ever wanting to be raped again, made the decision to focus solely on her training and becoming a soldier. She'd already been raped 3 times in her 15 years on this earth.

* * *

October 30th, 1999

* * *

For almost 11 months she trained hard, becoming an expert marksman. Her uncle left her at the camp; never coming back for her, never calling, she became property of the camp.

One day she decided to do something drastic. She put all of her belongings in her rucksack and snuck off base; but not before booby-trapping Paulson's office with a spring-loaded knife in his closet. The second the door opened, the knife was released, plunging into his manhood.

A blood-curdling scream was heard as she hid in the trunk of the laundry truck. The truck was waved through to get off base.

When they arrived at the Laundromat, Ziva waited until the soldier had brought a few bags inside before climbing out.

Grabbing her bag, she ran down the street until she couldn't see the truck behind her.

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter is coming very soon! Gibbs and Ziva will reunite, I'm not quite sure how yet, but...it'll happen. Anyone have ideas or suggestions? Thanks in advance.**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

 **A/N: Hebrew is in Italics (there is very little).**

* * *

November 22nd 1999

* * *

Still in Israel, Ziva had been living on the street for almost a month. She slept in parks, hospital ER's even under bridges.

She was able to get food from the trash behind several restaurants until they chased her away.

She was thankful to still have her rucksack and clothes. She did end up giving most of her things to other 'street wanderers' as she liked to call them.

* * *

All Ziva wanted was some sort of bread, the soup kitchen had closed hours ago and she was so hungry, she couldn't sleep.

She went to the dumpster behind a bakery to look for scraps. As she was digging, a man came out from the back door. " _Hey! Get out of there! I'm calling the police!_ "

Ziva jump out of the bin and ran as long as she could until she was out of breath.

* * *

Rounding a corner, she ducked into an alleyway, she thought to herself 'I don't know how much longer I can do this.' She began crying. Suddenly a back door opened, "Hey! No loitering, you street rat!" an American man's voice yelled.

Ziva sniffled, "I am sorry, I will leave." Wiping her eyes, she grabbed her bag.

The man hurled a bag of trash into a nearby dumpster, he heard the girl whimper. "Hey, wait, kid. Look, I'm sorry. I just had some trouble with some hoodlums lately. But you're no hoodlum, are ya kid?"

She turned around to him, shaking her head. "Are you American?"

He smiled, "Gee, how'd ya guess?" Chuckling, he held out his hand, "Larry Whitmore, nice to meet ya."

She shook his hand. "I'm Ziva." She smiled at him, his eyes looked kind.

Larry was probably in his late forties; he was from New York; he had graying light brown hair and light blue eyes that almost reminded her of Gibbs'.

"Come on inside, kid." Ziva looked at him, skeptically. "I ain't gonna hurt ya, come on."

Ziva sat on a bar stool at the counter, her feet dangling. She sipped grape juice through a straw.

"So, Ziver," Her heart dropped a bit, hearing her special nickname be used by someone else, his new New York accent was obvious. "What're ya doin' wanderin' around by yourself?" He leaned against the counter.

Ziva swallowed, "Um, my foster parents…" She searched for the words in English. "Abandoned me here. I was in foster care and they did not want me anymore so they kicked me out." She lied, but it was a good lie.

Larry looked confused, "What about your birth parents?" He asked, pouring her more grape juice.

"They died. I was going to be sent to America to live with my… uncle… but the foster agency already placed me with someone." She said, sipping her juice.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. So, where are ya gonna go now?" She shrugged. "Well ya can't stay with me, I'm flying out to the District in 3 days."

Ziva looked questionably at him, "The District? I do not understand."

Larry pulled out his wallet, "Washington, DC, in America. I've been here for 3 months to take over my cousin's bar while he serves over in Kuwait." He shows her his ID. "I'm finally going to get to see my girlfriend. It's been so hard being away from her for so long."

Ziva looked at him excitedly, "Can I see a picture? What's her name?"

He dug into his wallet for a photo, "She's a Navy gal, we met in college but lost touch. Thankfully we caught up with each other last year at a bar. J's the big boss at the investigative service." He hands Ziva the photo.

Ziva gasps, "Wait, your girlfriend is Jenny Shepard?!"

Larry laughed, "How do you know Jenny?"

* * *

She began to tell him the REAL story about what happened to her. Turned out that he knew Gibbs as well, through Jenny.

After processing everything she'd told him, he realized, "Hey, wait, you're 16 now, right? So you're able to see Gibbs?"

She nodded, tearing up. "I just…I feel like he probably does not care about me anymore. He has probably forgotten me."

Larry put his hand on her shoulder. "Little Zi, he does not forget anyone. That man has the memory of an elephant."

Ziva looked at him confused, "I do not know what that means, but, okay." Larry laughed.

"So, little lady, ya wanna come to DC with me?" He asked, hopeful.

She said nothing, practically jumping across the counter to wrap her arms around his neck, knocking over her glass in the process. "Oh! I am so sorry!" She said, blushing.

Larry chuckled, "Hey, no worries, young lady, I'm just glad you're finally going to get to the US. Do you want me to tell Jenny you're coming?"

Ziva thought about it, "No! I want it to be a surprise. Oh goodness I am so… _elated!"_ Larry looked at her, confused by her Hebrew. " I think I mean extra happy…I can't think of a word in English for it."

He laughed, ruffling her hair. "I'm excited for you, kid. Now, come on, let's get you in a shower, you do not smell great."

Ziva made an annoyed face. "Hey I just tell the truth! I live right upstairs, why don't you get settled and I'll see if I can scrounge up some dinner." He noticed her looking at him hesitantly. "But first I'll see about getting you some duds."

She was confused, "Duds? What are duds?" He laughed loudly at this.

"I mean clothing. I probably have a t-shirt and shorts you can wear, but it's gonna be real cold in DC."

Ziva looked embarrassed, "Oh, I have sweaters and skirts, long sleeve shirts, but they are...not very clean."

Larry looked at her sadly, "Hey, I'll do ya laundry for ya."

Ziva smiled, " _Toda_ , Mr. Whitmore." She hugged him.

"Hey none of that Mister stuff. Call me Larry. And get your stinky butt upstairs."

She laughed and ran up the stairs. Larry opened a beer and listened to the radio. He hadn't felt so good in a long time.

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah this chapter was weird and I rewrote it like 3 times but it was mainly fluff to get Ziva to the US. Don't worry, Larry is truly a good guy, nothing bad will happen to Ziva with him! Promise!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

 **A/N: Text between ##################### indicates a dream sequence. Text in Italics is in Hebrew.**

* * *

November 26th 1999 1500 hours

*****page break*****

After a 12-hour flight, Ziva and Larry landed in DC. Larry practically had to pick Ziva up to get her to wake.

A sleepy Ziva got her luggage off of the carousel and followed Larry to the taxicab.

Sometime during the 2 and ½ hour drive, the young Israeli fell asleep.

 **########################################################**

Ziva was running down the street, when suddenly she was grabbed by someone and was pulled into a van.

The masked man glared at her, he chuckled. " _Hello little girl. You scream and you will regret it._ "

He swiftly pulled down her skirt and underwear, " _No! No please! Please don't!_ "

She screamed, not caring what would happen.

 **############################################################**

Larry was shaking her by the shoulders, "Ziva, wake up! You're having a nightmare!"

She opened her eyes and saw the concern on Larry's face. She exhaled forcefully before sobbing. Larry cradled her in his arms.

After calming down, 10 minutes later, Ziva fell back to sleep on Larry's lap.

"Sorry, she's been through a lot." He told the driver.

The driver, a man named Rajiv, smiled, "Anything's better than the drunk kids I get. She seems like a sweet kid. You're a good dad."

Larry chuckled, "Oh, she's not mine. I wish, she's…my niece." He didn't want the driver thinking she was kidnapped or something.

"Well then you're a very good uncle. Feel free to rest, my friend, it will be another 45 minutes with this traffic."

Larry sighed and closed his eyes, "Thank you, Rajiv, you're a good man."

* * *

Rajiv pulled the car up a beautiful house in the suburbs. He tapped the break to wake Larry and Ziva.

Larry yawned and stretched as he carefully woke Ziva.

She looked at him, smiling. "We are here already?" She sat up and smoothed her wild hair into a ponytail.

Larry paid Rajiv, giving him an extra tip. Ziva and Larry arrived at the door with 4 suitcases.

"Would you like to ring the bell?" Larry asked the young girl. Ziva thought for a moment and nodded.

She pushed the button slowly, delighted by the beautiful sound it made. "Where are we, anyway?" She asked. Larry responded, "It's a surprise." The door opened.

"Finally, Larry, I thought you'd never…" Jenny looked down at the little young teen. Tears filled her eyes. "Ziva? …Is that really you?"

Ziva, already crying, nodded. Jenny embraced her with such warmth and love. She couldn't believe that she was truly standing in front of her.

"Can we come in, Jen?" Larry asked, looking tired. Jenny chuckled and grabbed Ziva's bags, leading them into the family room.

Jenny sat in a chair across from the couch, where Gibbs had once slept. "So, how did you two find eachother?"

Larry chuckled, "Long story." Jenny smiled and leaned back in her seat, relaxing, "I've got time."

* * *

 **A/N: I know, short chapter, but Ziva and Gibbs will reunite in this next one! Stay tuned!**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

* * *

November 27th 1999

* * *

In Washington, DC, Ziva woke up in Jenny's den. Jenny had a pullout couch that she'd had since she lived in her first apartment. The heat circulating in the house kept Ziva warm and comfortable.

She stretched her arms over her head; she sat on the edge of the bed and stared out the window. The white picket fence and the green grass was a welcome change. She felt so peaceful.

She put on the slippers she'd gotten on the plane and put on a long sweater before heading into the hallway.

She could hear Larry and Jenny laughing. She loved Jenny's laugh, it was like hearing her mother laugh, which did not happen often. Ziva felt sad for a moment, remembering her mother.

She continued into the kitchen. Jenny was telling Larry about her first day at NCIS, "He just stared at me, like he'd never seen a woman **not** at a secretary's desk!" She laughed.

Larry laughed heartily, "Yeah, that's Franks, alright." He noticed the young girl in the alcove. "Oh, good morning, Ziva. I hope we didn't wake you."

Ziva shuffled into the kitchen. "No, I was awake." She stood in the middle of the kitchen, smiling slightly.

Jenny got up from her chair and put her arm around Ziva, "Come, sit with us. What would you like for breakfast?"

Ziva shrugged, it'd been so long since she'd had a real meal that she was afraid she'd get sick if she ate too much. "Maybe… toast with peanut butter? And orange juice?" She explained that she'd not eaten much in the past month and didn't want to push it.

Jenny smiled, giving her a squeeze, "Coming right up." She turned to the fridge.

"Jenny?" The redhead turned back around. "Um…Does Gibbs…does he still…"

Jenny put her hand on the young girls shoulder, "He talked about you everyday for the past 3 years. He still loves you. I just hope he doesn't have a heart attack when he sees what a beautiful young lady you've become."

Ziva giggled. "We should surprise him. Like maybe I could sit in the chair at his desk? But turned around so he only sees the back of it."

Jenny laughed and kissed her head. "That's a great idea."

* * *

After Ziva had breakfast, she got ready. Digging her mothers' necklace out of her rucksack, she put it on. The Star of David shone in the sunlight.

She knew exactly what to wear. Larry had gone to a thrift store in Israel and bought her a navy blue chiffon dress and a matching cardigan with gems on the collar. It cost only 18 shekels ($5 American). She wore her hair down; Jenny straightened it for her. Jenny put a little mascara on her big brown eyes and a little rouge on her cheeks.

Jenny stepped back to look at the girl she had known long ago, "Ziva, you look so beautiful, I can't believe how grown up you are now. Jethro is going to be so excited. He might actually cry."

Ziva laughed. "If he cries, then I am absolutely going to."

Jenny chuckled, "Don't worry, the mascara is waterproof." She winked.

Larry walked into the den. "Wow." Was all he could say, "I'm speechless. You look…amazing Ziva. Now come on, let's go!" He grinned before walking out.

* * *

At NCIS, it was 7:15 am; Gibbs would not be in until at least 7:30. The sun could rise and fall by that man; he was very predictable.

Ziva sat in Gibbs' chair, facing the back of the cubicle so he could not see her.

At 7:28, Ziva heard the ding of the elevator. Gibbs strolled into the bullpen, as they called it, placing his coffee on the desk. "Why is my chair turned around? DiNozzo get out of there."

Ziva spun the chair around to face the silver haired man.

Gibbs looked confused; he blinked a few times. "Ziver? Is that really you? But...how? How did you...?" She got out of the chair and hugged him tightly. She inhaled his scent. He smelled like sawdust, coffee, and some sort of cologne.

He embraced her for about 2 minutes. He put his hands on her shoulder. "You look so grown up. I can't believe you're really here." Looking at the young woman before him, he teared up, kissing her head, lingering.

Tears streamed down her face. "I thought you forgot about me, I thought...I thought that you didn't care about me anymore. That you didn't…" She swallowed hard, "That you didn't love me anymore."

He knelt on the floor, caressing her face, his thumb wiping away tears. "I could never, ever forget about you. I love you so much, I always have and I…it hurt to not have you with me. I mean I was in real pain. I wanted nothing more than to find you or contact you. I even broke the law and called your uncle but he said… he said that you ran away. Ziver, on your birthday, I actually wept, I got angry for the first few months but Jen helped me feel a little better." He wiped a tear from his own eye. "Part of me felt like it was missing. I felt like I'd lost my daughter all over again. But I knew I could never give up. You are an amazing, strong, beautiful girl. I love you, Ziva."

She threw her arms around his neck. "I love you too, Gibbs." Tears rolled down her face again.

Just then, a man came into her view. "Oh, hey boss, this is your Goddaughter, right?" Tony smiled at her. "Hiya, I'm Tony, DiNozzo."

Ziva let go of Gibbs' and stared at Tony, practically drooling. All of a sudden she forgot all the English she'd ever known. " _Shalom_." She said dreamily.

Tony grinned as he shook her hand. He was about to say something when Gibbs smacked the back of his head. "She's 16 DiNozzo, get a grip."

* * *

 **A/N: Apparently this is turning into a Tiva story… possibly. Depends on how you guys feel about that. Thanks in advance! Next chapter should be up in a few days! Hugs!**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

 **A/N: Going to be a long chapter, be prepared for the intro of 2 more NCIS characters.**

* * *

November 29th 1999

*****page break*****

Gibbs and Ziva had only been back in the same state for 24 hours, but they stayed up all night.

Ziva told him her horror stories as she and Gibbs lay on the couch. She was wrapped in his arms. She told him how her uncle and her Sergeant raped her; how she wanted to die.

Gibbs wanted nothing more than to stay on that couch forever, holding his daughter, never letting her go. He wanted to protect her from everything in the world.

He held her in his arms, he kissed her head, whispered in her ear about how much he missed her, how strong she was, how beautiful she'd become. He told her "You're safe now. I promise. I'm never gonna lose you again. Never."

He let her cry and tell him how safe she felt in his arms, they both eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

January 8th 2000

* * *

One and ½ months later, as a Chanukah gift, Gibbs enrolled Ziva in an alternative school so she could get her G.E.D. She was so excited and scared at the same time.

Gibbs dropped his foster daughter off at the school. He was still battling with the system to have her be officially adopted by him. He kissed her on the head before she exited the car.

Ziva walked into the school, wearing her usual lycra gray skirt, a black and white striped tee and a jean jacket.

She walked into the main office to pick up her student ID. The blonde secretary looked at her, smiling, "How can I help you, hon?"

Ziva said, almost in a whisper, "Um, I am new here, my name is Ziva." She smoothed her hair under her blue bandana.

The blonde at the desk typed something into the computer as Ziva spotted her nameplate 'Angela Michaels'. "Oh, yes, I see here, Ziva Dayvid."

Ziva grimaced a bit, "It's Dah-veed." She tried to sound polite.

Angela blushed a bit, "I'm so sorry, I'm terrible with names. We just need to take a photo for your ID." She smiled at her.

"Oh, um, okay. Where should I…?" Ziva looked around.

The secretary pointed to the wall, "Just stand there, and smile." She waited for the young girl to smile as she took the photo. "Great. You're really photogenic. Here's your ID. We're going to have someone show you around." She pressed a button on her the phone on her desk, "Ms. Warren, can you please send James Palmer to the office for me? Thanks." She hung up. "You can have a seat, your guide will be here in a few minutes."

Ziva sat in one of the chairs against the wall, putting her backpack on the seat next to her. She looked down at her feet until she heard the door open.

"Oh, good, you're here. James, this is our new student, Ziva. Would you mind showing her around?" She gestured toward Ziva standing holding her backpack.

The young man stuttered a bit, "Oh, I—I thought that maybe I was in trouble or something. Hey, I'm Jimmy. Nice to meet you." He blushed; he'd never seen such an exotic beauty.

Ziva extended her hand to shake his. "Very nice to meet you, Jimmy." She smiled a bit.

James Palmer was clearly what you'd call a geek. He had messy wavy hair and glasses; he wore a t-shirt with Einstein's photo on it. From his beeper on his hip to his wingtip shoes, he stood out from the crowd of kids in jeans and band tees.

Jimmy thought Ziva was dressed interestingly. He was unaware that she was from Israel and was used to dressing _frum_ (a Yiddish word for devout Jews).

He showed her the nurse's office, the guidance counselor's office, the gym, the lunchroom, the courtyard and where her classes would be. They found out that they had biology and anatomy together. Jimmy was studying to be a doctor.

After the tour, they sat in an empty classroom and ate lunch. "So, uh, where ya from?" Jimmy smiled at her as he took a bite of his sandwich.

Ziva held her hand over her mouth, crunching on some salad. She swallowed, "I am originally from Israel but I have lived in a few different places. It is a long story."

Jimmy raised his eyebrows, grinning, "Oh, that's cool. So what's your concentration?"

Ziva looked at him, confused, "Concentration?"

Jimmy took another bite of his sandwich, "Yeah, what do you wanna study?" He said, his mouth slightly full.

Ziva made a 'gross' face, "I want to be an investigator like my…foster dad." This felt so strange for her to say.

Jimmy felt a bit sad, hearing that she was a foster child, "Oh, that's cool."

The bell rang, making Ziva jump a bit, "Is that the fire alarm?" Jimmy laughed, and then saw Ziva's serious face. He changed his tone. "…Oh, you're serious. No, it's just the bell for the next class period. What's on your schedule for 12:30?"

Ziva took her schedule out of her backpack, "Um, I have… ESL ILA? What is that?"

Jimmy threw his sandwich wrapper in the trash, "English As A Second Language Integrated Language Arts. It's a combo of reading, writing and comprehension."

Ziva blushed a bit at this, "Oh, um…okay, uh…can you walk me there…maybe?"

He chuckled, "Sorry, I gotta get to math. It's just four doors down. Good luck. Nice to meet you, again." He left.

* * *

Ziva walked down the hallway, it looked so long and cramped. It was filled with students ages 14-19. She felt like everyone was staring at her.

Some girls passed by her, giving her dirty looks and laughed when they were walking away.

She was about to get to her classroom when she was shoved into the lockers. Hitting her head, she blacked out briefly.

She found herself on the floor, people still walked by, no one paid attention to the girl on the ground. She sat up slowly, holding her head. ( **A/N: This actually happened to me in middle school.)**

A woman approached her slowly. "Hey, you okay?" She extended her hand to help the girl up.

Ziva grabbed on as the woman grabbed her elbow to help her up slowly. "Thank you. I do not know what happened. I…I think I hit my head on these lockers."

"We should probably take you to the nurse. Come on." The auburn haired woman took the girls arm to protect her from falling as they walked to the nurse. "I'm Ms. Todd, by the way. I'm one of the guidance counselors here for last names A through H."

Ziva smiled a bit. "My name is Ziva, David. I just started here. I guess I will be one of your guided students, yes?"

The woman smiled, "Yes you will. We'll catch up later. It was a pleasure to meet you, Ziva." She knocked on the door of the nurse's office. The nameplate read Nurse A. Johanssen.

The nurse looked up from her computer, "Oh, hey Kate, what's up?" She asked.

Kate, still smiling, said "Hey Amber, this is a new student, Ziva David, she bumped her head on the lockers and I think she passed out, could you take a look?"

Nurse Johanssen got up from behind her desk. "Yeah, no problem, thanks for escorting her, Kate."

As Kate exited, she said quietly to Ziva, "See you later." She left, her heels clicking down the hallway.

Ziva stood there; backpack in hand as she held her hand on her head. The nurse gestured for her to have a seat.

She shone a light in the girls' eyes. "Would you mind removing your kerchief so I can examine your head?"

Ziva said nothing as she removed her headscarf. She winced as the nurse examined her slightly bruised scalp.

"You've got a bit of a bump." She looked at the girl, concerned. "Since you blacked out, I'd prefer to take you to the ER to get a CT scan, just to be safe."

Ziva sighed, "I guess that is okay. Can I call my foster dad to have him meet me there?"

Amber smiled sadly, "Of course." She handed Ziva the corded office phone. "I'll give you a moment while I update your chart and call the ambulatory service."

Ziva rummaged through her backpack for Gibbs' business card. She dialed a few numbers including an extension. "Gibbs? It is Ziva. I hit my head at school and I need to go to the ER." She teared up as she heard the concern in his voice. He asked if she was okay, then told her he'd meet her at Bethesda hospital. "Thanks, I will see you soon." She hung up.

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter will be up soon! Thanks for reading!**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

* * *

January 8th 2000

* * *

The ambulance pulled up and they took Ziva down the hall in a wheelchair, for precautionary reasons. Thankfully the hallways were empty at this time so she didn't feel too embarrassed.

When she arrived at the hospital, a male intern took her vitals. She had a slight fever. When she had to take off her denim jacket to get her blood pressure, the intern saw the scars and the fresh cuts on her arms.

He put a note in her chart; he figured the doctor would see it and speak with her about it. They had her put on a hospital gown so they could take her height and weight. At 16 years old she was 5'4"(1.62 meters) and only 90 lbs (40.8 kg). Her body mass index was a mere 15.4. She was considered emaciated.

* * *

Ziva was put into a curtained off 'room' in the ER to wait to be seen by a doctor.

Someone could be heard practically running through the emergency room. "I'm looking for my daughter, Ziva David." Gibbs said panicked voice. She didn't hear anything, as she was lost in thought.

The nurses' voice was muffled. "Curtain 3."

Gibbs swung the curtain open without abandon, not caring if she was indisposed or anything.

There she was, his little girl, laying on a hospital gurney, shivering in her hospital gown.

Her legs were tucked under the blanket, her right arm in her lap. The bony fingers of her left hand traced the scars.

Gibbs stood there, shocked, he didn't think she was this small, this hurt. She looked far younger than her 16 years. "Hey Ziver." He finally got up the courage to speak.

Ziva gasped as she tried to cover her arms. "Gibbs, I –I didn't hear you open the curtain."

Gibbs closed the curtain and approached her, almost looking angry. He lifted his hand and Ziva flinched, closing her eyes, preparing to be hit. He cupped her gaunt face in his hand, his thumb stroking her cheek.

Her eyes opened slowly, first one, then the other. "I'm sorry, I thought-."

He cut her off, "Hey, no, never. I would never ever hit you. You're safe now." He kissed her head. "Why didn't you tell me you—"

He was the one cut off this time as the doctor slowly opened the curtain, "Hello there, Ziva, my name is Dr. Brandt." He shook the girls hand before looking at Gibbs questioningly, "And you are…?"

Gibbs extended his hand to shake it, "Her foster dad, Jethro Gibbs." The doctor smiled and shook Gibbs' hand.

"So, Ziva, I see you're here because you got hurt at school?" He looked at the small girl before studying her chart. "It says here that you may have suffered a concussion." He mumbled to himself as he flipped the page, "And you are pretty underweight." He sighed, "I'm going to send you for a CT scan to make sure there wasn't any damage." He pushed the call button for a nurse.

"Yes?" The voice came from the small speaker. The doctor pressed the button again. "Dr. Brandt here. Can you send someone to transfer the patient in Curtain 3 to radiology for a CT scan?" The voice responded, "Right away, doctor."

"I'll be back when you return from your CT scan; in the meantime feel free to get comfortable." He smiled at her.

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva sat there in silence until Ziva spoke up, "Does Tony know I'm in the ER?"

Gibbs was confused, why would she be asking about Tony? He shrugged, "Dunno." Ever since the death of his wife and first child, hospitals made him feel uncomfortable, maybe it was the beeping, the smells, how white everything was. He sat in a chair in the corner looking at his hands.

After 10 minutes, a smiling Jamaican nurse came to take Ziva for her CT scan. Her name tag read Alma. She waved at Gibbs before opening her mouth, "Dad, we'll be about half an hour, but the doc wanted to talk to you for a bit, so don't you go anywhere." Gibbs smirked a bit, "Oh, I'll be here." The nurse chuckled as she wheeled Ziva out.

* * *

A few minutes later, the doctor entered the 'room' where Gibbs was sitting. "Mr. Gibbs, there are a few things we need to talk about. I am concerned about your foster daughter, she extremely underweight; she's got cuts on her arms and legs." He sighed, looking sad, "How long has she been with you?"

He rubbed his hand on his forehead, "It's complicated, she was with me for some time about 3 years ago and during the time we were apart she went through some…trauma and was living on the streets. She's only been with me for almost 2 months." He exhaled forcefully, "When she first got here she had to have been maybe 80 pounds? So ten pounds in 2 months is pretty good."

The doctor nodded. "Oh, I wasn't aware, okay. Good. But just in case I am going to recommend a nutritionist." He scribbled a name and number on a piece of paper and handed it to the silver haired man. "As for the self mutilation…I'm gonna recommend she see a therapist."

Gibbs sighed sadly, "Yeah, I, uh, I've been trying to get her to go. It's been rough."

The doctor wrote another name down and gave ripped the paper out of his memo pad. "She comes highly recommended and has worked with lots of troubled teens—"

Gibbs snatched the paper out of his hand, "She is not troubled. This little girl has had a tough life. Her father beat her, her mother sent her away; she's been abused in every way possible. She is NOT troubled. She is in pain." He looked at the doctor angrily.

The doctor dismissed his anger as a concerned foster father, "You're a good match for her Mr. Gibbs. I hope the adoption goes through." The doctor stood up; patting Gibbs shoulder before walking out.

* * *

Ziva returned from her CT scan, Alma, still smiling said, "She did great, Dad. Nothing came up on the scan so she's cleared to go." After Ziva got dressed Alma gave Gibbs the discharge papers to sign.

Gibbs grabbed her backpack for her and put his arm around her, he kissed her head, "Come on kid, let's get home. It's been a long day."

* * *

 **A/N: This WILL be a Tiva story, as I found out that the age of consent in DC is 16, which is how old Ziva is. We'll see how it unfolds in the next chapter, coming soon! Thank you again to Debbie, Chicagonp2012, and AthenaLarissa for your reviews and loyalty! Till next chapter—NCISSVUGIRL09**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

* * *

March 24th 2000

* * *

Ziva had been in school for about two months; a few students teased her about how she dressed so she had Jenny take her shopping.

In the dressing room at Limited Too, Jenny sat outside of Ziva's stall, waiting for Ziva to show her some outfits.

"I feel so weird…is this really how American teens dress?" She opens the door. Ziva is wearing low-slung flared jeans with rhinestones on the pocket. Her red Henley tee was ribbed with ¾ length sleeves ( **A/N: See Cady Heron in Mean Girls)**. She kept pulling at the sleeves to cover her scars.

Jenny can barely contain her excitement. "Wow, look at you in JEANS. You look so…American teen."

Ziva smiled a bit, "Really? It is not too revealing?" Ziva motioned towards her stomach, pointing out the sliver of her exposed olive skin.

Jenny laughed, "No, you look beautiful, Ziva. Now come on! On to the next one!"

The teen bit her bottom lip in excitement as she went back into the dressing room.

* * *

Ziva entered the front door of Gibbs' home with 5 bags. "Thanks Jenny!" she yelled towards the car.

Gibbs sat in the kitchen, reading a newspaper. "Jeez, Ziver how much did you spend?" He looked at the full bags.

She laughed, "Hey you were the one who said 'Get whatever you want'." She did her best Gibbs imitation.

Gibbs smiled, "You think you're being cute, huh? Come here!" he grabbed her and pulling her into his lap, tickling her.

Ziva giggled loudly. "Gibbs stop!" She laughed, almost gasping, "I cannot breathe!" She said smiling.

He stopped and pulled her into a hug, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Sorry Ziver. You had fun today?"

She nodded; then noticed an envelope on the table. "What is that?"

Gibbs smiled at her widely, "Why don't you look at what's inside it?"

She got off his lap and sat in the chair next to him. She withdrew the paper from the envelope. Reading it silently, her hand covered her mouth as tears filled her eyes. She looked at his face, still grinning. "It is final? The adoption is final?!" Gibbs nodded at her. "Oh Gibbs." She threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you." She let go and looked at the letter again.

He laughed, "You gonna call me 'dad' now?"

She smiled through tears, "With that gray hair I should call you grandpa." She teased him.

"Oh now you're gonna get it. Get over here!" He went to tickle her and she ran off giggling. He chased her through the house until they both got out of breath, collapsing on the couch.

* * *

April 7th, 2000

* * *

Ziva and Gibbs were finally a family. She understood when he had to go away for a case. He understood when she just wanted to hang out with what few friends she had.

Gibbs knocked on her bedroom door, "Okay Ziver, I'm leaving in about 10 minutes, your sitter will be here in about 5."

Ziva opened the door, holding her robe closed, she rolled her eyes, "Gibbs, why do I have to have a sitter? I am 16 years old! Why can I not stay with Jenny?"

Gibbs sighed, "I told ya, she and Larry need their privacy. Now give me a goodbye hug. I'll be back in 4 days. You know how to reach me, okay? And Ziver? Behave yourself."

Ziva wraps her arms around his abdomen, inhaling his comforting scent. He kisses her on the head then the cheek. Grabbing his luggage in the hallway, he puts his hand under her chin, "I love you kiddo." She smiles, "Love you, too."

He goes to leave as the doorbell rings. Gibbs looks annoyed as he walked down the steps to the front door. Opening it, he looks annoyed "Ya know the door is open, DiNozzo. Why do you ring the bell?"

Tony stood there with a backpack, "Sorry, boss. Just trying to be polite." He flashed Gibbs a thousand watt smile.

Gibbs gestured for him to enter as he exited, but not before warning Tony, "ANYTHING happens to her and you will WISH you'd never been born, got it?" Tony gulped and nodded as Gibbs patted him on the back before leaving.

* * *

After slipping off his work boots, Tony hung up his leather jacket on the coat rack.

Plopping himself down on the couch along with his backpack, Tony relaxed and said to himself "So, where is the little brat?"

Ziva descended the stairs, "I heard that." Her heels clicked against the wooden floor as she walked. Her curly hair was down and full.

She stood in front of him wearing a black miniskirt that was much too short for Gibbs to be okay with. Her red tank top matched the soles of her shoes.

She had on minimal makeup, but still looked like a movie star.

Tony stood up from the couch, walking towards her mouth agape, "Wow, you look… wow." He knew to censor himself. This was his boss's 16-year-old daughter; she was 8 years his junior.

"What, Tony? Stunning? Fetching? Ravishing?" She walked closer to him, their faces inches apart; her lips were parted as she stared into his eyes.

Tony began to sweat, "Is—is it hot in here? It feels hot in here." He said, stepping backwards. He felt himself fall backwards onto the couch, or did she push him?

Suddenly, she was straddling his lap, her mouth devouring his completely. She ran her tongue over his lips, begging for entrance. He obliged as he cupped the back of her head with his hands, his fingers tangling in her hair.

As their tongues battled for dominance, she began to unbutton his shirt.

Suddenly she was practically thrown to the other side of the couch. Tony was standing over the young girl, looking almost angry.

She went to get up and he pushed her back down, she looked at him, hurt. "Tony, whats-?"

"Don't." He cut her off. "We can't do this. **I,** can't do this." He ran his hand through his hair. "I'll be in the basement."

* * *

Tony left the young girl tearing up on the couch as he stomped down the steps to the basement. After admiring the boat Gibbs had been working on he looked around for liquor. Sitting on a sawhorse, he sighed as he dumped some nails out of a jar and filled it up with bourbon.

As he heard the stairs creak, he closed his eyes, "Go away, Ziva."

She sat on the second to last step, her feet bare. "Tony…I am sorry that I jumped on you like that. I have just never…" She took a deep breath. " I have never felt that way towards someone. When you showed me even a little bit of attention I thought—"

"You thought wrong, Ziva." He cut her off.

"Just, listen to me, Tony, please." He stood up and leaned against the skeleton of the boat. "Okay, I'm listening."

She sighed, and looked down at her hands in her lap. "My life has not been easy, Tony. My father—my birth father- used to use me as a punching bag. I was sent to a hospital where a fellow patient…raped me. I was a virgin." Tears rolled down her face.

"Three years ago, I was forced to live with my uncle, was an alcoholic who raped me, thinking I was his daughter." Her voice got shaky as she wiped tears from her eyes.

"And then there was my Sergeant at the training camp. He made sure I suffered in every fight, made sure I felt worthless. One day I challenged his orders and he took me into his office. He…tied me up while he raped me, I thought he was going to kill me."

She stood up, hiking up her skirt to show him her thigh; tears welled in Tony's eyes as he saw the cuts on her flesh. He barely held back a gasp.

"I didn't know what it was like to feel loved until I met Gibbs. And I did not know what it felt like to be IN love until I met you. I am sorry if I was too intense or too fast but I didn't know what it felt like to feel SOMETHING other than pain, or hurt, or sadness. I felt broken, damaged, worthless, ugly, I—"

Her speech was cut off. Tony grabbed her face and kissed her lips gently. Staring into her eyes, he stroked her cheek with his thumb, "Ziva, you are BEAUTIFUL."

He embraced her in a hug and held her for a while. They stayed up for hours talking until they fell asleep in the skeleton of the boat holding each other.

* * *

 **A/N: next chapter will be written soon but I hope you enjoyed this one!**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

 **ATTENTION:: A/N: There be smut in this here chapter, explicit smut.**

 **A/N 2: Italic text between ^^ indicates a thought, other italic text indicates Hebrew. (There is very little spoken in this chapter).**

 **SERIOUSLY: A/N 3: This chapter contains mature themes and explicit descriptions of sexual relations between two consenting adults, please do not read if you are not of age. (btw guys, I am the virgin Mary, like never done anything as much as a kiss even so writing this is weird…)**

* * *

April 8th 2000

* * *

Ziva woke up alone in the skeleton of the boat of the basement. She sat up slowly, her hair frizzy and disheveled from slumber.

Shielding her eyes from the bright light of day as she ascended the steps up to the kitchen.

Tony sat there in a pair of sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt. He sipped from a cup of coffee as he read the paper. "Morning Ziva." He said without looking up.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and straightened her skirt. " _Boker Tov,_ Tony."

He turned the page of his paper and took another sip of coffee. "You hungry?"

She shook her head, even though he wasn't looking. "I am going to go skip in the shower."

Tony smirked, "It's 'hop', Ziva. You're going to go hop in the shower."

Ziva rolled her eyes as she went up the stairs. Tony peeked from behind his paper, his eyes on her butt as she went.

^ _She's got a sweet little ass^._

He licked his lips absentmindedly.

^ _Get a hold of yourself, DiNozzo. She is wayyyy too young for you, even if she does like you, even if she does want you, and lord knows you want her._ ^

He goes to take a sip of his coffee. _^God, her lips were so soft and the way she was grinding-^_

His thoughts are cut off by a splash of coffee on his shirt. "Shit!" he removes his shirt and runs upstairs.

* * *

Ziva, in her wet towel, slams into him as she exits the bathroom. "Sorry! I didn't see…" She stares up at him, her hand on his bare chest.

Tony's eyes darken as he looks at her. "Hey." is all he could say as he brushes her wet hair out of her face, he cradles the back of her head as his mouth collides with hers.

She moans in the back of her throat as their mouths devour one another, tongues tangle in passion.

He breaks the kiss, breathing heavily. He picks her up, bridal style.

* * *

Carrying her to her bedroom, he puts her on the bed, gently. Kissing her again before he backs away a bit.

Stepping back, he removes his pants. Ziva bites her lip, still wrapped in her towel, her wet hair drips down her shoulders and breasts.

She stares at him, he is completely nude in front of her. He's never felt so vulnerable. He gets nervous when she doesn't speak. "You're sure?" He says, almost inaudibly.

Her lips part seductively as she removes her towel completely. Tony growls playfully before crawling over to her on the bed.

He licks a bead of water from her shoulder as she moans, grabbing his hard member.

He grasps her wrist lightly. "No, this is going to be about you. Only you." He stares deeply into her eyes before their lips meet in a passionate kiss.

They break apart for air. "I'll go as slow as you need me to, okay? Never be afraid to say 'no' or 'stop'. Okay?"

Ziva has a tear running down her face as she nods. Tony kisses the tear and follows that kiss with one at her pulse point. He moves lower, taking her dusky nipple into his mouth, he swirls his tongue around it.

She moans as she moves her hand down to her wet pussy. Tony stops sucking at her breast as he grabs her hand and brings it to his mouth. He kisses her knuckles.

"Let me take care of you, Ziva." He moves his hand down to her entrance. He stares her in the eyes as his thumb strokes her clit. She groans with pleasure.

He inserts one finger in her slick opening. She's tight and so wet. He moves it in and out painfully slowly for her liking.

Bringing his finger back up to his own lips, he tastes her as he sucks on his own fingers, wetting them. "So sweet…"

He moves them back down her slender body, thrusting 2 fingers into her. "Tony." She gasps, her fingers digging into his shoulders, almost painfully.

He curls them up to hit just the right spot to send her over the edge. He knows she's about to come; he muffles her cries with a kiss.

He continues to stroke her until she comes down from her high. Removing his fingers from her, he licks them, tasting her sweet nectar. Wiping them on the towel underneath them, he captures her lips in another quick kiss.

Pulling her into his chest, her wet hair sticking to his skin, he holds her. She can hear his heart beating as hers slows down. She whispers into his muscular chest, "Thank you."

He kisses her wet hair. "Rest, sweet Ziva. _You are safe._ " He says in Hebrew.

She smiles as she closes her eyes, drifting to sleep.

Tony watches the young girl lay on his chest for a while before he slips into slumber.

* * *

 **A/N 4: There's the smut chapter! Hope you liked it. Chapter 32 will be up as soon as I think of something. Haha. Please be kind! And as always, thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

 **A/N: The first day of this chapter would have taken place on my 11** **th** **birthday haha. Also italic text between ^^ indicates thought.**

 **T/W: Self harm/ Suicide attempt. (I have never tried to commit suicide but I have self harmed so some of this may not be accurate.)**

* * *

April 9th 2000

* * *

After Tony got to know Ziva in every way possible, he wanted to make sure she had nothing but happiness for the rest of her life.

He looked at his sleeping lover in the morning light. The rays of sunlight made her look like an angel. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her with a lovesick expression.

She took a deep breath, "Morning." She put her hand on his scruffy cheek and stroked it gently. He put his hand over hers, intertwining their fingers.

Smiling at her he says, "What do you wanna do today?"

She yawns a bit; then shrugs. She looks at him like nothing else in the world mattered.

"How about I give you a tour of DC? Gibbs won't be back until tomorrow."

Smiling she nods.

* * *

Ziva dons a very not-Ziva white 60's era dress with yellow sunflowers on it and straightens her hair. She walks down the stairs in espadrilles with white straps tied in a bow at her ankle. (All from Larry!)

Tony ties his loafers as he looks up at her. "Wow, you look beautiful."

She giggles. He walks towards her and pulls her in for a small kiss. She wraps her arms around his neck. "You don't look too bad yourself." She smiles and kisses him again.

He grabs her hand and leads her out the door.

They drive into town. Tony takes her to the Smithsonian museum, the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington monument.

As they walk to dinner, Tony tells her stories that make her laugh and feel like a kid again. "Where are we going anyway?" She asks.

"Right here." Ziva looks up at the sign, it says Zaytinya. "What is this place?" She asks as he opens the door for her.

"You'll see." He smiles as the door closes.

* * *

Looking at the menu, Ziva's mouth waters, "Tony, you are really going to try Israeli food, for me?" Tony nods. "And how can you afford this?" She looks at him, wide eyed.

"Hey, only the best for you, _ne'shama_ (darling in Hebrew)." She grinned at him.

* * *

After dinner they went back to Gibbs' house. Sitting on the couch, they watched Death At Love House starring Robert Wagner and Kate Jackson.

Ziva cuddled against Tony. As the credits rolled, she sat up. "The leading man kind of looked like you, Tony. And his female co star was so beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." He cradles the back of her head as he kisses her deeply.

* * *

The door creaks open quietly as they kiss. A loud thud comes from behind them and they break apart slowly.

"Ziver… go to your room. NOW." Gibbs stands there with his eyes closed, fuming. Ziva, looking terrified, runs upstairs.

As she changes into her nightgown, she keeps her door open a crack so she can hear their conversation.

Back downstairs Gibbs clenches his fists, "DiNozzo…I REALLY don't wanna hit ya." He takes a deep breath. "What the HELL were you thinking?! She is a child, MY child. What was even going through your head?!"

Tony tries to speak but gets cut off, "I don't even wanna know. Just… get out of my house."

Tony stays silent as he grabs his bag and shoes by the front door. He left quite a few items in Ziva's room but he wouldn't dare get them right now.

Tony closes the door quietly. As soon as Ziva hears this, she gets under the covers and pretends to be asleep.

* * *

Gibbs walks up the stairs and opens Ziva's already ajar door. "I know you're not sleeping."

Ziva got out from under the blanket and huddled herself into the corner of her bed. "Gibbs I—"

"No, Ziver. You don't get to talk." He squeezed his eyes shut. "Did you do more than kiss?" Ziva stayed silent, which was enough of an answer for him. His fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white. "Did he force himself on you?"

"Gibbs, no I wanted—"

He pounded his fists on the bed, "Dammit Ziva! You don't know what you want! You're 16 years old! What if you got pregnant?! What if you got an STD?!"

She yelled, "We didn't have sex! He just…made me feel good."

Gibbs got up, "I can't hear any more of this. I am far too angry and too tired to even think about discussing this with you right now." She flinched as he took a keep breath and kissed her on the head.

He walked out, slamming her door, then his own.

* * *

Ziva locked her door before she laid back down, tears running down her face. Her cries became vocal as she thought of the anger Gibbs had just shown her.

She thought , ^' _I can't do anything right! Now the only person who I thought cared for me hates me. And Tony probably never wants to see me again. I might as well make life easy for everyone and just end it. No more trouble, no more worries, no more pain_.^

Ziva got on the floor to grab a box from under her bed. Opening it, she took out her blade and rolled up her sleeve. Bringing the blade to her left wrist she closed her eyes. Pressing down hard, she swipes the blade three times. She opened her eyes to watch the blood flow onto her light pink nightgown. Feeling lightheaded, she passed out on the floor with her blade in hand.

* * *

Gibbs went to lie down. As his head hit the pillow he flashed back to his fight with Ziva. He couldn't go to bed angry.

He got out of bed and put on a robe over his pajama pants and white tee.

Sighing, he knocked on Ziva's bedroom door. "Ziver?" He knocked again, harder. "Ziva?! You unlock this door right now!" He knocked again for good measure. "Okay, I'm coming in." He braced himself as he broke the door open with his shoulder.

He looked in her bed first but didn't see her.

After looking around, he finally saw the small girl on the floor, bleeding.

He rushed to her, cradling her head. "Ziva. Oh God. No. No no no no." He removed the belt from his robe and tied it around her bloody wrist. He grabbed the phone off of her nightstand and dialed 9-1-1.

* * *

The EMT's came and brought her to the hospital. As they rushed her into the ER, they kept pressure on her arm. A female EMT told the doctors her status. "Patients name is Ziva David, 16 years old, suicide attempt. Dad found her about 10 minutes ago, kept pressure on the wound. Pulse is weak and thready, heart rate is at 43 BPM."

The doctor shined a light into her eyes, "Pupils are fixed and dilated, we gotta get her a transfusion, now."

* * *

 **To be continued…**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

 **A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, Debbie, ChicagoNP2012, AthenaLarissa, Melielle, and BROSMP. You guys keep me going.**

* * *

April 10th 2000

* * *

Gibbs sat in the waiting room of the ER, his head in his hands. He was scared. He hadn't known what that felt like for a long time.

Taking his phone out of his pocket he pressed 3 on the speed dial.

"DiNozzo?" He listened to the young man ask if he was about to get a lecture at 1 am. "No, just…it's Ziva." Gibbs heard Tony almost drop his phone before he asked what happened. "Just get here, I'm at Bethesda." Tony said he'd be right there. "Thanks."

Gibbs hung up his phone as he stared at the wallpaper on his flip phone. It was a photo of himself with Ziva. He looked at it, sadly, "Come on, Ziver. I can't lose you again." He said to himself.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Tony ran into the ER lobby and was about to ask the nurse where Ziva was when he heard someone call his name from behind him.

"Gibbs. What happened?" Tony looked at him, almost teary eyed.

Gibbs stuttered a bit, he was tired and worried, "I-I found her on—on the floor. She was…bleeding. I thought—"

Tony grabbed Gibbs by his collar, "What did you say to her?! Did you hurt her? HUH?! DID YOU?!"

Gibbs smacked him on the back of the head, "DiNozzo! Cool it."

He let go of his boss's collar. "Sorry, boss. I'm just worried about her."

Gibbs sighed as he fixed his collar, "Ya think I don't know that? Like I'm not…terrified?"

They sat there in silence for a few moments. "She told me what you did to her. How you… made her _feel_. I got so angry with her; I swear I almost went off on her. I tried to go to bed but I just felt…bad, so I went to apologize and that's when I found her."

Tony ran his hand over his tired face. "Well, thank you for calling me."

Again they sat in silence, only the sounds of machines beeping and people coughing around them. "Look, boss, I'm s—"

"Family of Ziva Dayvid?" The doctor called out, cutting off Tony.

In unison, as they stood up Gibbs and Tony said "It's Dah-veed."

The doctor made a note in the chart, "My apologies." She removed her glasses. "My name is Dr. Melanie Lyons, I worked on Ziva. She's stable right now and required some stitches and blood transfusions. She's currently under suicide watch and will need to stay here for at least 72 hours so we can properly evaluate her mental status."

"When can we see her?" Tony asked, tearing up.

"She's awake right now but might be a little groggy. I would say one at a time for now."

Gibbs patted Tony on the back, "You should go first. She's probably beyond pissed at me right now."

"You sure, boss?" He asked with pleading eyes.

"Yeah, go ahead, kid." He was surprised by a hug from Tony. "Come on, enough, go."

Tony let go and followed Dr. Lyons to Ziva's room.

* * *

Ziva laid in the bed with bandages on one arm and an IV in the other. Tears rolled down her face as she stared out the window.

She smelled the faint scent of sawdust. "Go away, Gibbs."

Tony put his hand on her shoulder, "It's not Gibbs."

She turned over, tears in her eyes, "Tony? What are you—"

"Gibbs called me, Ziva." He took her hand in his and stroked her knuckles.

"You should not be here, Tony. You should not be seeing me like this. I must look so…ugly."

He brought her slender wrist to his lips and kissed her bandaged flesh. "You're so beautiful." He whispered.

Her eyes begin to tear again as she looks down, "How can you say that?"

He looked at her with a concerned and confused face. "What do you mean?"

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sniffled, "How can you think that any part of me is beautiful? What is beautiful about the scars I have given myself? You cannot say that THAT is beautiful. I am not beautiful. I am a disaster. Nothing but damaged goods."

Tony opens his mouth to protest, but she cuts him off, ripping her hand from his grasp. "My whole life, no one but Gibbs has loved me and I was forced upon him. He probably does not even love me, he just feels bad for me. Just like you, you are probably repulsed by me." She rolls over to face the window again. Staring out the glass with dead eyes, her voice deepens, "Just say it. Say what I really am."

Tony looks at her in defeat as he rounds the bed slowly, "What-?"

She pounds her fists on the bed, "Say it!" She grabs his shirt and yells. "I know what I am! I am a whore! I am nothing but trouble! I am worthless! JUST SAY IT!"

A nurse in the hall hears the commotion and runs in, "What's going on?"

Tony stands over the small girl, "It's nothing. I got it. Thanks."

The nurse scoffs a bit, "Miss, is he bothering you?"

Ziva sniffles, "No, it's fine… he can stay."

The nurse rolls her eyes, "Okay then, press that call button if you need anything." She leaves.

Tony crouches down to be face to face with his love. "Ziva, I know we haven't been together very long, but, you are my everything. You are not trouble and you are NOT worthless. You are a warrior."

She sniffles. "I need help, Tony. Please don't leave me." He kisses her forehead. "I'm here, Ziva. I'm not going anywhere."

He pulls her close to him as she sobs into his chest. He strokes her hair.

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter coming soon, Gibbs and Ziva will have a heart to heart!**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

 **A/N: Thanks again for the reviews! Have a great weekend!**

* * *

After Tony spent half an hour holding Ziva, it was Gibbs' turn to see her.

He approached the impossibly small girl with caution. He puts his hand on her shoulder.

"Who let you in here?" Ziva said, annoyed as she rolled over to face her adoptive father.

"Ziver, look." He sits next to her on the bed. "I'm…sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I got angry."

She wipes her eyes. "I thought you said… what about rule number 6?" She scoots herself carefully into a sitting position.

"Rule number 51 applies to me, too, little one." He smiled as he put his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her head. "You really scared me. I don't know what I'd do without ya. You're my life, you know that?"

She nuzzles her head into his chest. "I think I love him, Gibbs." He opened his mouth to object, "Wait, before you lecture me, let me just, get this out." She sighed deeply. "You can only love me so much, you can only DO so much for me. Tony is…sweet and gentle. We did not…what is it? Go all in?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes, "Ziver, god, please, stop talking about that."

She wrapped her arm around his abdomen, "The point is, we took is slow, and we are still taking it slow. He knows about my…past and honestly, he wouldn't even let me touch hi—"

Gibbs pulled away a bit, "Ziva! Seriously, this is not a conversation to have with me." He kissed her on the head again, "I just want you to be safe. I want you to be…loved and respected and cared for."

"I know, Gibbs. But I am not a little girl anymore. I can be responsible. But…maybe…like, to be safe… I can…go on…birth control?"

Gibbs squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled forcefully, "Ohhhhh…kay." He looked up at the ceiling, "My little girl is growing up and I hate it."

Ziva giggled, "I love you Gibbs." She squeezed him tight.

He kissed her head, "I love you too, kiddo." He sighed as he held her small hand in his, his fingers grazing her knuckles. "Get some rest, I'm gonna go talk to the nurse."

He got up as she pulled the blanket over her thin frame. Closing the door quietly he went to talk to a nurse at the nurses station.

* * *

A young African American nurse was turned away from him, organizing charts. "Excuse me, I need to speak with someone about my daughter."

She didn't turn around, but she stopped organizing the files, "…Gibbs?"

She turned to face the blue-eyed man.

"Marissa. Wow, what're you doin' here?" He smiled as she came out from behind the desk and hugged him. He embraced her tightly. "It's been, what? 5 years?"

She stood back to look at him, "You look good, Gibbs."

He grinned like an idiot. He couldn't believe that he was seeing the same young nurse who cared for Ziva back in West Virginia years ago. "You uh, how long have you…"

"I just started about 2 months ago. Overnights are tough, but there's always coffee to help me through it." They laughed. "I'm so sorry about Abraham. I know it's been a while but I never had the chance to properly offer my condolences." She stared at her feet for a moment. "Are you here for you or…?"

His face became somber, "My daughter, actually. I don't know if you remember Ziva but—"

"Of course I do! She was such a beautiful little girl. She's yours now?"

He nodded, "Yeah, she uh… she's been through some stuff and uh… she's…yeah…she's getting' help now."

Marissa smiled a bit, "That's good." She figured he'd fill her in when he had the time. "It was great to see you but I've gotta go do rounds."

She scribbles something on a sticky note, "Um, about Ziva, go see the psych eval lady, her name is Rachel Cranston she's on the second floor. We'll catch up later?"

 **(A/N: For those of you who may have forgotten, Dr. Rachel Cranston is Caitlin 'Kate' Todd's sister, who, in this story, is Ziva's school guidance counselor.)**

"Oh, and Gibbs?" She turned back towards him, "Watch out for Dr.C., She's a redhead."

Gibbs laughed as Marissa walked away.

* * *

 **A/N: A little fluff and character info for y'all. Next chapter should be up within a few days! Thanks for your patience!**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

* * *

As Gibbs pressed the button for the second floor he heard someone yell, "Hold the elevator."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. As the doors closed a manicured hand stuck between them, opening them again.

A beautiful woman stepped into the elevator, in a white coat, holding a stack of files, "Two, please."

Standing on opposite sides of the elevator, staring straight ahead, she spoke as she caught her breath. "You were gonna let the door close on me, weren't you?" She scoffed.

Gibbs mirrored her scoff, "No! I just…didn't hear ya, is all.".

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, right."

The elevator dinged as the door opened for the second floor. Gibbs gestured for the woman to exit as he followed her. She scoffed again, "Oh, so you're following me now?"

As they walked down the hallway, he rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. "Hey uh, do you know where Dr…." He looks at the sticky note. "Cranston's office is?"

The woman stopped and turned to him. "Seriously?"

He looked at her confused, "Yuh-huh. I'm supposed to see her about my daughter."

She chuckled, holding out her hand. "I'm Dr. Cranston. Rachel Cranston."

He shook the red heads hand, "Jethro Gibbs." He flashed her a smile.

She chuckled a bit as she let go of his hand "Jethro, huh? Your parents must have really _loved_ you."

He laughed. She stared into his ice blue eyes, getting lost in them. He waved a hand in her face, "Doc? About my daughter?"

She snapped out of her daze and looked at the files in her arms. "I don't see a Gibbs in here."

He clears his throat, "Oh it's uh, David, Ziva David. She's adopted, but she's all mine."

"That's sweet. Um, let's step into my office so we can talk." She held the door open for him.

* * *

As Gibbs filled Dr. Cranston in about Ziva's past, back on the fifth floor, Tony laid with his young lover in her hospital bed.

Tony stroked Ziva's frizzy hair. He whispered in her ear, "You are so beautiful, you are strong, amazing, you are my _ne'shama_ (darling in Hebrew)."

" _Toda_ , Tony. But this battle is not even half over. I have many more wars to fight." She takes his arm and wraps it around her stomach. He hates how much he can feel her rib cage. He can feel her breath hitch in her chest as she cries.

"I am afraid, Tony. I am afraid that I will lose this fight."

She rolls over to face him. "What if I cannot do this? Will I just become scars and bones? Why couldn't Gibbs just have let me die?"

At this declaration, Tony tears up and holds back an audible sob as a tear rolls down his face. "Ziva, I don't know what I would do without you. I know it's hard, and I know you want to change. I can change with you." He strokes her cheek with his thumb.

"You are not alone in this fight." He cradles her face in his hands; their foreheads rest against each other. He whispers, "I'm fighting for you, Ziva."

She closes the gap between them, kissing him deeply; their tongues duel.

"Ahem!" An angry throat clear comes from behind them.

Tony pulls away from Ziva, "Gibbs is behind me, isn't he?"

Ziva nods. Tony rolls over to a sitting position slowly, facing Gibbs. "Hiya, boss. Look, I uh…I was just…the thing is…" Gibbs smacks the back of his head.

"Out, DiNozzo, I need some alone time with my daughter." He smirks as Tony grabs his bag. He mouths to Ziva, 'See you later'.

She waves at her beau as he exits. "Gibbs, I know you don't approve of Tony and I, but he makes me feel things that I never thought were possible."

Gibbs makes a disgusted face, "Ziva, what did I tell you about sayin' that stuff in front of me?"

Ziva giggles, "No, I mean…he makes me truly happy. He makes me feel invincible. When I'm around him, he makes me feel like I'm the only person in the room. Like I'm all that matters."

Gibbs sits next to her on the bed, "Ziver, I just want you to have someone who deserves you. You are special. You are so brave and kind and beautiful. You make me want to be a better father and a better person. Your strength through all you've been through amazes me. I don't think I could've gone through all that and made it out."

He takes her small hands in his. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You were meant to be mine. The universe brought us back together for a reason. I love you, Ziva. Always."

Ziva sniffled a bit, "I love you too, Gibbs. Thank you for saving me. Again."

Gibbs kisses her on the head, "You would've done the same thing for me, kiddo."

Marissa knocks on the door, "Sir? Visiting hours are ending in fi—Oh, Gibbs, ha. Oops, sorr—uh, didn't realize it was you." She enters the room. "Hey, Ziva. I don't know if you remember me. I worked on the base where you guys used to live."

Ziva smiled at her, "Oh, wow, yes I do remember. We must stop meeting like this."

Marissa chuckled, "Cute. But seriously, Gibbs, visiting hours are over. Go home."

Gibbs stood up, still holding onto Ziva's hand. "You gonna be okay by yourself Ziver? I can stay if you want."

Ziva looked at him, he had dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were almost red. "No, go home, sleep. I will be fine, Gibbs."

Marissa sees the look of love in his eyes, she knows Ziva is his world and he would do anything for her.

Gibbs kisses Ziva on the head as he pulls her into a hug. "Okay, but you need me, you have them call me and I will get here right away." Ziva nods.

He pats Marissa shoulder, "G'Night." She smiles, "Night Gibbs."

Marissa checks Ziva's I.V. and vitals, "Hey, if you need anything, just press that call button."

Ziva yawned, " _Toda_ , Marissa."

" _Bevakasha_. (You're welcome in Hebrew)." Marissa smiles before closing turning off the light.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay reviewers, a time jump may or may not be coming. Not sure what to do for this next chapter just yet. I'll figure it out. Thanks for reading. P.s. Did ya catch the real NCIS reference? #VivaLaTiva**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

 **A/N: Explicit smut in this chapter, do not read if this is not your thing, or if you're underage! Thanks. (Again, please note, I am 100% pure in body (but not in mind) so some of this may be unrealistic).**

* * *

April 14th 2000

* * *

Ziva had been released from the hospital the day prior, she spoke with Dr. Cranston who had her follow up with her school guidance counselor. On the last day, Ziva asked Marissa if she could get her birth control. Ziva had never had her period due to being underweight but she didn't want to take chances.

Gibbs was going to pick her up but got called away to a crime scene on the USS Philadelphia. He told her he'd more than likely have to spend a minimum of 3 days on board. So, he had Tony pick her up.

When they arrived at the house, Ziva changed into one of Gibbs old t-shirts and just left her boy-short underwear on and fell asleep.

When Ziva awoke at 1400, Tony was staring at her from the rocking chair in the corner. She yawns, "Tony, you are being a… what is it called? Streaker?"

Tony laughed as he walked over to the bed, "Stalker, Ziva. And I am not, I am just admiring you, my beautiful girlfriend." He sits on the bed and kisses her gently on the lips.

She smiles at him before kissing him again with more pressure. She straddles his lap and grinds her hips into his as her lips move down to his neck. She nips at his Adam's apple.

He chuckles throatily, "Ziva you are playing with fire."

She says breathlessly, "I'm ready to get burned." She kisses his lips again before leaning back a bit. The pressure of her panties grinding onto his pants is almost too much for him to take.

She removes her t-shirt, exposing her small breasts. "No bra? Naughty girl." He chuckles.

Holding on to her lower back, Tony ran his fingers over her already hard nipple. "Tony." She moans.

He takes her supple olive breast into his mouth and sucks at it. Ziva throws her head back. Her hair cascades over her slender back, almost touching Tony's hand, still on the small of her back. He licks a trail from her belly button to her neck before kissing her deeply.

He lays her back on the bed as he removes his own clothing. Placing a condom packet on the bedside table, he crawls on top of her, his 8-inch member already hard against his stomach.

Kissing her hard he leaves her mouth and kisses his way down her body. Planting a kiss just above her panties, he looks up at her. She nods, telling him she's ready. Her hips arch off of the bed as she removes her underwear, exposing her glistening mound.

Tony licks up one of her thighs, then the other before he uses his fingers to expose her swollen clit. He teases it with the top of his tongue.

Ziva gasps at this, almost shuddering. "God, Tony, please."

He grins before taking her clit into his mouth and sucking on it slowly.

Her back arches at his actions. He rubs is index finger along her slit before inserting it slowly. Ziva grips his hair so hard he's afraid she might pull it out.

He takes his chances as he inserts another finger, curling them up. She almost yelps as he does this, she feels him smile against her pussy as he laps at her clit.

He removes his fingers again and sucks on them. "You sure about this?" He asks as he reaches over to the nightstand to retrieve the condom.

"Wait." She says as she grabs his wrist. Using his weight, she gets herself up off the bed. He stands to let her up.

She kisses him again before sinking to her knees. She lightly grasps his thick cock. He gasps as she does this. She licks some of the pre-cum off before taking the tip into her mouth.

Swirling her tongue around the head, she massages his testes as she takes him deeper into her mouth. Tony closes his eyes, trying not to come right then and there. "Ziva your mouth is so hot. Oh my God. Don't Stop."

Ziva knows she can't take all of him in her mouth but she takes as much of him as she can without gagging. She runs her fingers lightly on the sides of his hard cock, making him shiver. She releases him with an audible 'pop' before licking his length again.

She looks at him and bites her lip as she grabs the condom from the nightstand. She tries to open it, but struggles.

Tony laughs as he takes it from her and rips it open with his teeth. She goes to grab it from him before he stops her, "Uh-uh, wait. You gotta do it right." He pinches the tip as he rolls the condom down his still stiff member slightly. "Okay, go ahead."

She giggles as she rolls it down the rest of the way. She climbs on top of him. "I'm gonna go slow, okay? You lower yourself on to me. SLOW, okay?" He assures her. She rolls her eyes playfully, "Tony, you act like I have never done this before. I have, just not…willingly."

He watches as her face falls. She climbs off of him and sits next to him on the bed. Tears fill her eyes, "Tony. I am so sorry…I…I cannot do this. I thought…I thought I was ready but-."

He grabs her face and kisses her gently. "I can wait as long as you need to. I want you to be comfortable. Okay?" He removes the condom, wrapping it in a tissue before tossing it into her small garbage can underneath the night table.

She sniffles and sobs audibly. He holds her naked body against his as he strokes her hair. After 20 minutes of crying, she falls asleep in his arms.

He hears her snore as he lays her down gently in the bed, covering her with a blanket. He scrawls a note on a piece of paper, 'I'm right downstairs, making supper'; he leaves it on her nightstand. As he closes the door, he whispers, "I love you, Ziva."

Ziva smiles in her sleep. Tony, unaware that she heard his declaration, goes downstairs to start dinner.

* * *

 **A/N: thanks for reading thus far! Next chapter might be up tomorrow, or in a few days, we'll see! Hugs!**


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

 **A/N: Non- explicit sex scene here. Just a passing glance. Sorry guys.**

* * *

Ziva woke up in the dark, looking at her clock as she rubbed her eyes. It was 1500. 'I slept two hours?' she thought, 'Tony must hate me.'

As she sat up, she saw the note he'd left on her bedside table. Picking it up, she smiled, as she got dressed for dinner.

As she descended the stairs to the kitchen, she smelled rosemary and butter and warmth.

Tony stirred sauce on the stove as he heard her heels click on the wooden steps. "Hey sleepyhead, it's about time." He turned the burner off as he turned around. "You hungr—wow."

Ziva stood in the alcove of the kitchen in a little black spaghetti strap dress. It showed off her thin legs, the hem stopping mid thigh.

"You look amazing." Tony walked over to her, taking off his oven mitts.

She smiled shyly as Tony tucked a stray ringlet behind her ear. He stared in her big brown eyes before kissing her softly. He looked at her with so much love; she thought she was going to start crying again.

"You hungry?" he said as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. She nodded.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Ziva enjoyed food. She ate almost everything on her plate, rosemary chicken, mashed potatoes, spinach; even a special sauce Tony had made. Tony smiled at this, feeling happy for his girl.

After they were finished eating, Tony cleared the table. Watching a VHS tape on the couch in the living room, Ziva lay against Tony's chest.

He ran his fingers along the bandage on her arm as she watched the film. Ziva giggled at the comedy. "He think's he really in there, sleeping?"

Tony grinned, "I love that sound." He kisses her head. Ziva shifts a bit to look up at him. "What sound?"

Tony smiles widely, "Your laugh. The way you giggle. When you lean against me I can feel the vibrations tickle me. I love it." Ziva blushes a bit. "Aww, you're so sweet, Tony." She turns towards the television again.

She smiles wide, "Aww they love eachother." Tony strokes her hair. "Ani Ohev Otach."

Ziva sits up suddenly and turns to face him. "You learned that for me?" Tony nods. As tears well in her eyes, she grabs his face in her hands and kisses him hard. "I love you, too." She straddles his lap as they kiss passionately.

She lifts her dress over her head and removes her bra. She leans in to kiss his neck as she unbuttons his shirt.

* * *

They lay on the couch, out of breath. Tony was beaming with happiness. Their clothing was strewn all over the room. Ziva's head lay on his bare chest. He kisses her head as he gets up slowly.

Removing the condom, he wraps it in a paper towel before discarding it along with the wrapper. Pulling his pants back on, he stares lovingly at the nude girl before him.

"Why can't you just be naked all the time? I love looking at you." He grins as she pulls a blanket over herself. "Tony! Stop. I'm not, what do you call it? All of it?"

Tony chuckles as he kneels next to the couch. "All that. And you are definitely ALL that." He plants a chaste kiss on her lips before she pulls him in again for a deeper one.

As they part, she rubs her thumb over his cheek before pulling him in for a hug. He inhales her scent. She smells like peaches, rosemary chicken, and sex.

Tony lets go of her and stands up. He holds out his hand, "Come on, we gotta get in the shower and go to bed. Gibbs is coming back tomorrow."

She pushes him a bit, "What?! He is?! And when were you planning on telling me this?"

He laughs, "Sorry, Zi. I was kind of busy the last hour."

She gets up and runs up the stairs. "Ziva! Come on! Don't be mad at me."

She stops half way up. "You coming?"

Tony looks at her, confused, "Am I coming? What…?" His face displays his realization. "Oh! Yes, Yeah, I'm...yep." He runs after her up the stairs.

* * *

 **A/N: New chapter being written right now!**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

* * *

April 17th 2000

* * *

Tony and Ziva had cleaned the house from top to bottom. Well, except the basement. They knew Gibbs would be pissed if they touched anything down there.

Ziva stood at the mirror her room. Just as she finished putting on a bit of makeup, she heard the door open.

"Ziver? You home?" Gibbs called. She put the wand back into the tube of mascara, and ran down the stairs.

Gibbs was at the doorway, untying his boots. He heard her footsteps. "Hey little one." He said before looking up at her. "Were you bored without…wow. You look…incredible."

Ziva stood before him. Her red lips matching her pencil skirt. On top she wore a sheer black blouse with princess sleeves. Her hair was curled to perfection.

He stood up, wide eyed, mouth slightly agape. She wasn't the broken little girl he'd left four days ago; she looked like a woman.

She giggled at Gibbs' blushing face, " _Toda_ , Gibbs."

He walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. He put his finger under her chin, "My little one, you are…so beautiful." He pulls her in for a tight hug.

"I missed you, Gibbs." She inhales his scent. He smells like the ocean and kind of sweaty, but she doesn't care.

"I missed you too, Ziver." He lets go of her. "Where's DiNozzo?"

"Making us dinner." She smiles. "I thought I smelled steak burning. Dinozzo you better not be messing up my t-bone!" Gibbs yelled as they walked into the kitchen.

"Wouldn't dream of it, boss. I made these for Ziva and I. Yours is defrosted, just waiting for its' master." Tony chuckled.

* * *

After dinner, Tony grabbed his things, kissed Ziva hard as Gibbs sat on the couch in the living room, pretending to not see it.

Tony grabbed her ass as something hit him in the head. He pulled away from her, "Ow!" He rubbed his head.

Gibbs chuckled, "You better go before I give you a concussion, DiNozzo."

"Yes, boss." He smirked before grabbing his bag and slipping out the door.

* * *

Ziva plopped herself down on the couch next to Gibbs, leaning her head on his chest as he stroked her hair.

"So, what'd you crazy kids do while I was gone?" He said as he kissed her head.

Ziva smiled, thinking about what they HAD done, but couldn't reveal that to Gibbs, "Not much, stayed in most days. Laid on the couch most of the time. We went out to dinner once and he showed me some interesting parts of DC. I had fun." She scratched at her bandaged arm.

"Hey! No scratching. You're gonna get an infection." He held her hand, bringing up to his lips to kiss it. "I missed you, kid." He sighed. "I love cuddling with you, but I gotta go shower." Ziva got off of him to let him up.

She sat back down on the couch and turned on the television.

As Gibbs walked up the steps, he saw something in Ziva's room gleam in the sunlight. He sighed, mumbled to himself "Jeez, Ziver you can't pick up your own tra-." Anger filled his face. "ZIVA! YOU GET UP HERE RIGHT NOW!" He yelled, he'd never sounded so angry, Ziva was afraid, but she went upstairs.

Standing in the doorway of her room, she made her eyes look big and sad as she pouted her lips. Gibbs growled a bit, "That will not work on me, young lady." Ziva stopped pouting but looked ashamed as she walked toward the bed.

Gibbs held out the condom wrapper, "Now I can officially get mad at you. Now I have PROOF. What the heck was going through your head, Ziver?"

She sighed sadly as she lay on the bed, her head in Gibbs' lap. Tears welled in her eyes. "I love him, Gibbs."

He exhaled forcefully. "I know you're in love with him Ziva, but I don't think you love him."

She sat up, "No!" She pounded her fists on the bed. "I LOVE him, Gibbs. I never thought I would know what love was until I met you, and I am…" She searches for the right words. " Eternally grateful for that. But the fact that I overcame my fear and completely gave myself to him was such a huge thing for me. You know that. You know what the other men did to me. They took away my body and I never thought I would get it back. Tony made me feel so comfortable with myself. Made me feel beautiful."

Gibbs face looked stoic as he stared at his daughter. "I tell you how beautiful you are every day. Isn't that enough?" He puts his arm around her. "Can't you just stay a little girl? Please?"

"Please don't kill me when I say this…but…I'm not Kelly, Gibbs. I know that she was your little girl and you never got the chance to see her grow up, but she would have. You have to let me grow up."

Gibbs sighs sadly, tears well in his eyes, "I know Ziver, I just…I feel like I'm losing you all over again. I can't lose another daughter."

She took his face in her small hands and kissed his cheek, leaving her lipstick on him. "I love you, Papa."

"I love you t—wait, did you just call me Papa?" A tear ran down his cheek as she nodded.

"Gibbs, are you… crying?" She grinned at him as she wiped away his tear along with her lipstick.

"Why are you smiling?" He said as he wiped another tear from his ice blue eyes.

"Because…I've never seen you cry before. You look so cute, Papa." They both laughed.

He brought her head to his chest. Stroking her hair lovingly, he whispered, "I am never letting you go."

She smiled. Then made a face, "You better, because you REALLY need a shower." They laughed loudly.

He kissed her head as he got up; tapping her doorframe as he left her room.

* * *

 **A/N: I know, more filler. This weeks gonna be hectic so it might be a few days before the next update. Lemme know what you thought so far! Thanks!**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

 **A/N: Italics between ##### equals a dream sequence. T/W: this chapter contains depiction of rape and sexual assault.**

* * *

Ziva lay asleep in her bed as the sun shone through her window. She dreamt of what she and Tony had done the day before. Smiling in her sleep.

 **##########################**

 _Ziva and Tony were lying down in bed after their first love making session. "One more round." Tony said, grinning._

 _Ziva sighed, "No. I need a break, I'm too tired." She said as she rolled off of him._

 _He grabbed her wrist and flung himself on top of her. "That wasn't a question, Ziva." He looked at her with an evil grin._

 _Suddenly, she was handcuffed to the bed as Tony forced himself on her._

" _Help! Someone help! Papa! Please!" She screamed as he pounded into her. "You're such a worthless whore. You love this. That's all you're good for, Ziva." He slapped her across the face as she cried._

" _No use crying, my little whore. No one is coming for you. Your precious Papa Gibbs has left you here._ " _He laughed evilly as he held up a knife and put it to her throat._

 **##########################**

Thrashing around in her bed, she screamed. "No! Please! Stop!"

Gibbs sat on the bed, shaking her by the shoulders. "Ziva, wake up! It's okay!"

She let out a loud gasp as she sat up quickly. She saw Gibbs before her and fell into his arms as she sobbed.

He held her, stroking her back, "It's okay Ziver; you're safe now." He said pressing a kiss to her head. "Shh…it's okay."

After a few minutes her sobs turned to sniffling and tears running down her face. "It's okay, my sweet little girl." He said as he lifted her face to stroke her teary cheeks.

She was still shaking as she spoke, "I—I thought it was real. I was dreaming that Tony was…" She gulped. "Raping me." She began crying again.

He held her in his arms as she sobbed. "It was just a bad dream. You're okay now."

She pulled away from him to wipe her eyes and nose. "I kept screaming for you, Papa, but you never came, I thought…I thought you left me." She tackled him in a hug again.

"Hey, I'm never gonna leave you, Ziver. You're my daughter. I'm always gonna be here for you, you know that." He rubbed her back again as she buried her face in his shirt.

She looked up at him with big wet eyes, "Can I sleep in your bed tonight, Papa?"

He took her small face in his hands again, "Of course you can." He kissed her cheeks and eyes and nose. "I love you, my Ziva."

She sniffled, "I love you too, Papa."

* * *

Ziva slept in Gibbs' room for the next two nights.

When she went to school, Ziva was taken out of English class to speak with Ms. Todd, her guidance counselor.

"So, Ziva, Dr. Cranston sent me your file from the hospital. How are you feeling? Have you been able to go to classes?" Kate Todd sat across from Ziva in a chair, as Ziva sat on a small couch, her backpack next to her.

Ziva shrugged, "Um, not really. Gibbs—uh, my adoptive dad, was away for a few days and my boyfriend stayed with me."

Kate's eyes widened, "Your boyfriend? Okay, tell me about him."

Ziva tucked her hair behind her ear. "His name is Tony and he is…older than me. He works with my dad, well FOR my dad technically. He makes me feel so beautiful and loved and…sensual. Like I can do anything."

Kate scribbled something on her notepad. "And how does your father feel about this?"

She sighed, "He is…getting used to it. Um, he found a…condom wrapper in my room and got pretty mad."

Kate looked at the girl with concern, "What did your father do when he found out?"

"He sat down with me and actually listened. If that were my real father, he would have probably killed me, literally." She looks at her hands in her lap. "Back in Israel, my father beat me every day." She wipes a tear from her eye.

Ziva takes a deep breath. "I am very happy living with Gibbs and I am so glad that I have Tony now. But…I do not know how much Dr. Cranston told you about my past."

Kate sighs, looking through the chart. "She said you were also…assaulted sexually by your uncle?"

Ziva nodded, wiping another tear from her eye, "And by my sergeant at training camp, and a…patient at the hospital I was staying at…he took my virginity…forcefully."

Kate sat with tears in her eyes, taking in all the things the girl was telling her.

Ziva's face was emotionless and glassy eyed, like someone with PTSD. "That night… I bled. I still have nightmares about him." She draws her knees into her chest.

"After Tony and I tried to make love for the first time I just…panicked. He said he was going to take it slow and I…" She takes a deep breath. "I thought he was going to leave me."

Kate writes something down before putting the pad down on her desk. "Ziva, I'd like for us to meet three times a week for about a month. I really would like to help you process the feelings and reactions you've been having. Would that be okay?"

Ziva nodded, "I would like that, Ms. Todd."

Kate leaned forward, putting her hand on Ziva's. "Please, call me Kate." She smiled.

* * *

 **A/N: Just wanted to update something here. Might be a few days before a real good juicy update. Thanks for the patience and reviews!**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

 **A/N: This chapter contains kissing, haha. You'll see….**

* * *

May 2nd 2000

Ziva had been in school a few months and was enjoying it. She even made some friends.

A girl named Emma in her history class was very outspoken. She was very confident in her self and her sexuality. She was the head of the LGBTQIA club and always had something to say about women's rights.

Ziva looked up to her, wishing she had her confidence. She also may have also had a tiny girl crush on her. Of course she could never tell Tony, he would have gotten some crazy idea in his head about the two of them.

* * *

Emma invited her over for a sleep over, but Gibbs insisted that Emma come to his place so he could keep an eye on Ziva.

The young redhead knocked on the front door. Gibbs opened it, "Can I help you?"

She looked at his ice blue eyes, "Oh, I…uh…I'm…"

He smiled, "You're here to see Ziva."

Emma blushed. "Yeah. I'm Emma. Nice to meet you, sir." Her 5'5" slender frame was almost swallowed by her knapsack.

"Come on in, and please, call me Gibbs. None of that 'sir' stuff." Gibbs smiled as he grabbed her bag.

"Thank you si—uh, Gibbs." She smiled, looking at him with wide green eyes. Twirling her waist length red hair around her finger, "So…where's Ziva?"

"She's upstairs, should be down in a sec." He motions for her to have a seat, "So, Emma. Tell me about yourself."

She smoothed her mini skirt as she sat down. "Uh, well I'm 17, I'm studying to be a nurse, my mom is in the medical field and I'm an only child."

"That's very nice." They sat in silence for a moment.

Ziva came down the stairs, "Hey, Emma, come on up." Ziva grabbed Emma's hand and led her up to her room.

Gibbs was about to sit back down on the couch when there was a knock on the door.

Gibbs opens the door, "Can I help—oh, Rachel. What're you doin' here?"

She looked at him a bit surprised, "Oh, um, my uh, my daughter left her notebook at home and I… what are YOU doing here?"

He chuckled, "I live here." She laughs. "Uh, come on in, Emma and Ziva are upstairs."

"Ziva! Emma's mom's here!" He yelled. "Please, have a seat. Would you like something to drink or…?"

She smiles, "Yeah, um water would be fine, thank you."

He pats the arm of the couch, "I'll uh, be right back." He heads to the kitchen. She hears a thump, "Ah! Damn it!" Gibbs yells.

Rachel gets up and runs into the kitchen, "Everything okay?"

Gibbs stands in front of the cupboard, his hand on his eye. "Yeah, I think Ziva left the cabinet open and I smacked right into it."

"Are you bleeding?" Rachel looked at him with concern.

"Oh, uh, dunno." He takes his hand away from his eye.

She approaches him carefully. "May I?" She leans in close to him, tucking her bright red hair behind her ear. Running her thumb over the cut, she smiles a bit. "Just a little cut. I think uh, you'll be…fine." Her thumb strokes his cheek as she stares into his eyes.

She leans in again and kisses him, chastely. They pull apart. "God, I am so sorry I—". He kisses her again, with passion, his hand tangled in her hair. Backing her against the kitchen table he continues devouring her mouth, his tongue tasting every inch of it.

"Mom!" They pull apart; Ziva and Emma are standing there, mouths agape. "What are you doing here?"

Rachel still leaned against the table, her head down in embarrassment. "You forgot your notebook at home, I was just delivering—"

"What, your tongue to Gibbs' mouth? God, you are so embarrassing!" Emma ran upstairs taking Ziva with her.

Rachel walked into the living room grabbing her purse. "I uh…I should go. Sorry."

Gibbs opened the door for Rachel. "I'll call you." She said kissing him on the cheek before leaving.

* * *

Emma was in Ziva's room, pacing. "God my mom is so embarrassing! I am so sorry you had to see that. Seriously. Ugh."

"Emma, it's okay, really." Ziva tried to follow her with her eyes.

Emma sighed and sat on the bed next to Ziva. "It's just… it's not fair. My mom always does this! She just goes for what she wants and it never has consequences! I never go after what I want, ever and I just… I feel so…unfulfilled."

Ziva puts her hand on Emma's, "And what is it that you… **want** , Emma?"

"This." She leaned in and kissed Ziva hard. Ziva took her hand off of Emma's and pulled back slightly. "Emma…we can't I'm…spoken for."

Emma looked down sadly as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry Ziva I had no idea. I shouldn't have jumped on you like that. I can leave if you—"

"Stay. It's fine. It was…nice." She put her hand under Emma's chin to tilt it up, "Hey, let's go watch a movie, take our minds off of…this crazy day."

Emma smiles, "Sounds good. Thanks for not hating me, Ziva."

Ziva smiled as she grabbed Emma's hand to lead her downstairs.

* * *

Around midnight, Gibbs came up from working in the basement, he found the girls on the couch, asleep; Emma on one end, Ziva on the other. The TV was still on but the screen was black, as the movie had ended some time ago.

Gibbs grabbed a blanket from the chair in the corner and covered the sleeping teens. He kissed Ziva on the head and went upstairs.

* * *

 **A/N: Again, sorry it's more fluff, having trouble thinking of where to go from here. Thanks for waiting!**


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

 **A/N: Hebrew is in Italics.**

* * *

May 3rd, 2000

* * *

Emma and Ziva had breakfast before Rachel came to pick her up.

"I'll be right there, Emma. Wait in the car." Emma waved to Ziva before leaving. Rachel stayed at the door, staring at Gibbs who had helped Emma bring down her bags.

"So, I'll see you Friday then, Jethro?" She flashed a smile at him.

He almost blushed, "Yeah, I'll pick you up at 7." He grinned as she kissed his cheek and left.

He closed the door and leaned against it.

"Seriously?" Ziva sat on the steps in her pajamas, annoyed. "You are going on a date with her?"

Gibbs sighed, "Yeah, Ziver, I'm an adult, she's an adult, we can do whatever we want."

Ziva groaned, "Papa, look…Last night Emma…she…" He looked at her annoyed that she wasn't finishing her sentence.

Ziva sighed, almost mumbled, "She kissed me." Gibbs rolled his eyes, "So, what, are you gay now?"

"Papa!" Ziva looked annoyed. "Ziver, you know I don't care if you are, you love who you love, but…what about DiNozzo?"

"It was just a kiss, Papa, it meant nothing to me. I just wanted you to know what happened." She sighed. "And I still love Tony, he is still my boyfriend. By the way, you should try being nice to him every once in a while."

Gibbs scoffed, "I'm nice to him!" Ziva looked at him skeptically, "Okay, sometimes I'm a little harsh, but I'm his boss, Ziva, not his father!"

She stood up, "Well you may one day be his father-in-law, so just…please. Ease up a little."

He walks towards the steps and leans on the bannister. "You thinkin' of marrying him, Ziver?"

She shrugs, "Maybe, in a few years." She gets up and walks down the stairs. She hugs her father, squeezing him tight. "I just did not want to keep you in the night."

Gibbs chuckles as he kisses her head. "It's 'in the dark', and thank you."

* * *

May 5th 2000

Ziva had been meeting with Kate for a few weeks and Kate finally convinced her to call her father and speak with him. Gibbs wanted to be there with her, but Kate told him Ziva had to do this on her own.

She dialed the phone slowly and carefully, hanging up after the first ring before dialing again.

" _Shalom? Shalom? Who is there?!"_ Eli asked angrily.

Ziva stuttered. " _It's me, Aba. It's Ziva. I just wanted to talk to you. My counselor said it might help me._ " She waited for Eli to respond.

He said angrily and clearly drunk, " _Ziva? Why would you call me? You are not my daughter anymore._ " He slurred.

" _Where are you? Hmm?"_ She heard him slam his fist on the table. " _You stupid whore. I am going to find you. You_ _ **will**_ _pay for what you did. Perhaps I should send Nathaniel to teach you another lesson. He did so well last time._ "

Ziva teared up, holding back a gasp. " _YOU had Nathaniel… rape me, your own daughter? How could you? You are a monster! I hope you die!_ " She slammed the phone down.

* * *

Hearing her yell, Gibbs knocked on her door before opening it. "Ziver? You okay in there?"

He slowly opened the door to find Ziva lying on her bed in the fetal position, sobbing.

"Ziva? What happened? What did he say to you?" He sat on the bed and put his hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him with the saddest face he'd ever seen, he almost teared up himself, "He had me raped, Gibbs."

He looked at his scared little girl, "What do you mean?"

She took a shaky breath, "The patient in the hospital I stayed at in Israel. My father sent him to rape me."

Gibbs looked at her, concerned, "Ziver. Do you have any documentation of this?"

Ziva shook her head. "I did not want to tell anyone. I was afraid he would kill me."

He sighed, "I'm gonna go make a call, we're gonna get 'im, Ziva. I promise."

She grabbed his hand as he went to leave. "I forgot you have your date tonight." She wiped her eyes, "Do not cancel; just let Tony come stay with me, please?"

"Ziva, I can't even think about another person in my life right now besides you, I'm cancelling." He kisses her on the head. "I'll be right back."

He headed downstairs and dialed his phone, "Tobias? Gibbs. I'm gonna need your help."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry guys, I am having a lot of writers block and don't want to keep you hanging. We may have Gibbs, Ziva and Fornell go on a trip to Israel to help Ziva get justice. We'll see.**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

 **A/N: Text spoken in Hebrew is in Italics. T/W: This chapter depicts sexual abuse and incest.**

* * *

May 28th, 2000

* * *

Be'er Sheva, Israel

* * *

Once in Israel, Ziva, Gibbs and Tony took a taxi to a motel by Ziva's fathers' house.

Even though Ziva only packed one small suitcase, she still had a lot of baggage. The real baggage was that which she brought with her from the last phone call with her father.

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva took a cab to her fathers' house, while Tony stayed behind in the motel room.

"It's okay, Ziver. Knock on the door." Gibbs put his hand on the small of her back.

Ziva hesitated before knocking forcefully, her braided ponytail bouncing as she did.

They could hear yelling from behind the door, " _You have no patience, Ilan, just come in!_ " Gibbs looked at Ziva inquisitively. " He said to come in. Gibbs nodded as Ziva opened the door.

Eli was sitting in his study. He yelled, slurring his words. " _Ilan, I hope you brought more wine because I am all out_."

Gibbs stayed out of sight in the foyer, listening carefully to Ziva and Eli's conversation via a listening device she was wearing.

* * *

" _Shalom, Eli._ " Eli looked up from his book at the sound of the girls' voice.

Putting his drink down on the desk, he grabbed something from his drawer before getting up.

" _Ziva? Is that really you?_ " He approached her slowly, putting his hand under her chin. She tried her hardest to not pull away when he did so.

He stared at her eyes for a few moments. " _Please, sit down_."

She took a deep breath, staying silent as she sat in a chair in the corner.

Eli closed the door and locked it quietly. " _I am very surprised to see you here after our recent phone conversation._ " He stood behind her chair, putting a hand on her shoulder. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. " _Surely you remember what I said._ " He reached into his pants pocket, within seconds he had a knife to Ziva's throat. " _I meant it._ _You scream, you die._ "

He reached to tie her wrists and ankles tightly to the chair.

Ziva took shallow breaths as she slowly tried to free herself. Eli laughed loudly at her struggle.

" _Why are you here, Ziva? Hmm?_ " He moved his right hand down from her shoulder to her wrist. " _Have you come for more discipline?_ " He chuckled as his fingertips grazed her hipbone. " _Or perhaps,_ " He dipped his fingers into the waistband of her long black skirt, caressing her mound. "…y _ou came for something else._ "

She closed her eyes, trying to think of anything but what was happening to her. Silently praying that Gibbs would burst in before he got too far.

He laughed as he inserted a finger into her. " _Nathaniel told me you were tight and sweet._ " He removed his digit and sucked on it. " _Mmm…he was right._ "

It took everything Ziva had to not vomit. " _Please, stop….please. You are drunk. Please._ " She begged quietly as a tear ran down her cheek.

He chuckled, " _You are not my daughter anymore. I can do whatever I want to you._ " As he began to unzip his pants, Ziva closed her eyes.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang.

The door to Eli's study was kicked open. Eli was knocked unconscious by the butt of a gun and was on the floor before he knew what hit him.

Gibbs took Eli's pulse. He was out but not dead. "Ziver, you okay?"

She nodded, " _Untie me, please_!" She said in Hebrew, not realizing she wasn't speaking English.

Gibbs looked at her confused as he got out his cuffs. "I'm gonna cuff him, then I'm gonna untie you, okay?" He handcuffed Eli to the leg of his desk before untying Ziva.

She sobbed as she put her arms around his neck. He picked her up, bridal style. "Shh, it's okay. You're okay now."

* * *

Gibbs took Ziva back to the motel, she stayed silent the entire ride there.

Walking into their room, her eyes were glassy. " _I am going to take a shower._ " Again, speaking in Hebrew and not English without realizing it, she grabbed a change of clothes and closed the door.

"What happened in there, boss?" Tony looked at Gibbs, concerned.

"Not my story to tell, DiNozzo." Gibbs rubbed his eyes and put his head in his hands.

* * *

Ziva turned on the water and began to undress.

After about 45 minutes, Tony began to worry. Ziva's showers only took 10 maybe 15 minutes maximum. He knocked on the door. "Ziva?" He knocked again, "You almost done? Don't make me go down to the lobby to pee!"

Gibbs peered over to the bathroom. His eyes went wide. "Tony." He points at the floor.

Tony looked down to see water pooling from under the doorway.

"Shit." Tony said before breaking down the door.

* * *

 **A/N: Cliffhanger! I am terrible, aren't I? Next chapter will be in a few days! Enjoy this one!**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

 **A/N: Hebrew is in Italics.**

* * *

As Tony bust open the bathroom door, he was blinded by steam. "Ziva?" he squinted his eyes, looking for her in the hot room.

He could hear the sound of scrubbing. Following the sound, he found Ziva sitting in the corner of the shower.

Her naked body was curled up as she scrubbed herself raw. She was mumbling in Hebrew, " _I can't get him off me. Why won't he get off me? I am so dirty. I am a dirty, dirty whore. That is all I am, that is all I will ever be. I can never get clean. I can never get clean! I will always be marked—."_

Her rambling was cut off by Tony's hand on her shoulder. After he shut off the shower, she looked up at him with dead eyes. " _Please, don't. Not again. Please._ "

He kneeled down next to her, and cradled her head in his hands. He leaned in and kissed her. He licked her lips to allow his tongue entrance. She obliged as she kissed him back.

He pulled away when he felt her tongue in his mouth. She looked up at him again with a half smile, "Tony?" Her smile fell as she realized she was finally speaking English. "I am sorry. I—"

"It's okay, Ziva. You're safe now." She leaned against him, tears streamed down her face. "I will never be safe. Not until he is dead."

"Tony? Is she alright?" Gibbs called from outside of the bathroom, not wanting to disturb his daughter if she was indisposed.

"She's fine, Gibbs. Give us a minute." Tony yelled back.

They heard Gibbs breathe a sigh of relief, "I'm gonna go down to the lobby, you kids take your time."

* * *

Hearing the door close, Tony got up, grabbed a towel, wrapped it around Ziva and picked her up. Her soaking wet hair dripped on his feet.

He peeled back the comforter and put her down on the bed. Climbing in next to her, he covered her with the blanket and laid on top of it.

Pulling her close, he wiped a tear from her cheek. She sniffled and shivered a bit as he stroked her cheek. "What happened, Ziva?"

She swallowed audibly, "When we got there, he was in his office. I sat in a chair and…he held a knife to my throat. He told me if I screamed he would kill me."

Tony looked at her with such concern. "He tied me…to the chair and…he said that I must have come back because I wanted to…be disciplined." He held her hand.

"Then he…put his finger…in my…" She points down as she makes a noise in the back of her throat, choking back a sob.

She takes a shaky breath. "He said…I-he said I tasted… **sweet**." The last word comes out of her mouth almost like a yell.

She begins to sob, her body shaking violently. "He was going to rape me, Tony." She sniffled and wiped her nose. "He said I was not his daughter anymore so he c—he could do anything he wanted to me." She clutched Tony's hand so tight that it hurt.

Tony let her squeeze his hand as he smoothed her wet hair with his free one. "Gibbs would never have let that happen. Ever. Neither would I. You know that." His put both his hands on hers. "We've got evidence now, Ziva. We're gonna go to the police, he's going to go to jail."

Ziva sighed as she sat up. "You cannot promise that, Tony, he has others working for him, he had Nathaniel rape me before! He will do it again!"

Tony sat up, looking at her confused, "What do you mean he **had** Nathaniel rape you?"

"He told me that he would just have Nathaniel teach me another lesson. When he was…touching me he…he said Nathaniel told him how I tasted. I just…I wanted to throw up. I wanted to die. I…I am scared, Tony." She snuggled into his chest.

"We're gonna get through this, Ziva. Together. I'm not goin' anywhere." He kissed her on the head. She could feel her shivering. "Hey, let's get some clothes on you. As much as I love seeing you naked, you are freezing and we can't have you getting sick."

She squeezed his torso before rolling off him and dropping her towel. Completely nude, she searched through her suitcase. She could feel Tony's eyes on her. "See something you like, Tony?" She giggled.

He grinned. He loved to hear her laugh. "Always." He gets up out of the bed, never taking his eyes off of his lover. "I'm gonna go downstairs and get Gibbs, you gonna be okay on your own for a minute?"

She nodded as she pulled on a pair of pants. "Okay, I'll be right back." Tony said as he closed the door.

* * *

Stepping out of the elevator, Tony found Gibbs sitting at the bar. "Hey, Boss. You can come back up now."

Gibbs turned around quickly, "DiNozzo, you left her in the room ALONE?! What if something happens to her? What if…DAMN IT!" He slammed a $20 bill on the bar and ran up the stairs to the second floor.

They ran down the hall to their room. The door was slightly ajar. Gibbs drew his gun and Tony did the same. Gibbs nodded for Tony to open the door.

Tony opened the door slowly. "Ziva?" He looked around the room, under the bed and in the closet. "Clear."

Gibbs checked the bathroom. "Clear."

Tony sees a piece of paper on the bed. "Boss…you should see this." Tony held up a note with his sleeve over his hand.

Gibbs put on a glove and picked up the note with crudely scrawled English. It said three words-

 **She**

 **Is**

 **MINE.**

* * *

 **A/N: Yet another cliffhanger to get y'all through the weekend. Lemme know what you think so far! Xoxo- Gossip Girl—wait, no, just kidding, NCISSVUGirl09**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

 **A/N: This chapter will contain graphic depictions of violence and incestuous sexual assault and rape. Please do not read this if it will upset or trigger you. Hebrew is in Italics.**

 **A/N 2: This is a long-ish chapter.**

* * *

Ziva awoke with blurred vision. She tried to wipe her eyes, only to find her hands his been bound.

She blinked a few times to clear her eyes. Looking around the room, she found herself in what looked like a warehouse basement.

She could see a little sunlight peeking through a small window near the ceiling. The walls were lined with different weapons. There were whips, shackles; what looked like a cattle prod.

The young girl tried to break free of her metal restraints to no avail. "Help! Help me!" She yelled in English. " _Help me! Someone help, please!"_ She screamed louder in Hebrew.

Suddenly she heard a door unlock and open. " _Shalom, Ziva._ " Eli entered, downing a bottle of wine as he walked in; Nathaniel followed him.

She squeezed her eyes tight, hoping this was a nightmare she could wake up from. She heard her former father chuckle, " _This is real life Ziva. This is your life now. You are mine._ "

Ziva swallowed and looked down. Holding back tears, she held strong, " _Gibbs will find me, and when he does, he will kill you._ "

Eli put his hand under her chin, " _But for now, we will have our fun, hmm_?"

* * *

Tony and Gibbs contacted the local LEO's immediately. Tony paced the hallway of the precinct as Gibbs went over the security footage with an officer.

Gibbs came out of the room and put his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Hey, stop beating yourself up, DiNozzo."

Tony ran a hand through his hair, "But it's my fault, boss. What if she's—"

"She's not dead, Tony. I'd feel it if she was." He placed his hands on the young mans shoulders. "We're gonna find her, Tony."

* * *

Nathaniel whipped Ziva's nude back for a fourth time. It was red and bleeding. Eli grabbed her chin. " _Say it."_

" _Go die, you swine!_ " Ziva spit in his face. Eli backhanded her, " _You stupid whore. You think you can stop me?_ " He nods towards Nathaniel who grabs a knife and heats it up. He hands it to Eli.

Pressing the hot metal against her nude bosom before slashing the burn, Ziva screamed louder than she ever thought possible.

" _Say it, or the next one will be on your pretty little neck._ " He kisses her neck before taking her cut breast into his mouth, licking and sucking the blood off.

His dry fingers ran down her stomach to her spread legs. He thrust two fingers into her entrance. " _Mmm…you want this, little whore. I can feel how wet you are._ " He moved his fingers in and out of her roughly.

Ziva closed her eyes and tried to think about things that made her happy. She felt Eli's fingers pull out of her. She could hear him sucking on his fingers. " _So sweet_." He wiped his hand on her stomach and smacked her abused privates.

She yelled in pain. Eli chuckled, " _You have much to learn, Ziva._ " He snapped his fingers. Nathaniel immediately handed him a cigar and lit it.

He took a drag and blew it in her face. Ziva coughed slightly. " _Say it. Whose whore are you?_ " He pressed the lit end of the cigar to her bare breast.

Ziva screamed, " _I am yours!_ ", tears ran down her face. He removed the cigar and laughed, " _That is right. You are my sweet whore. Mine to use and abuse._ " He takes another drag of the cigar and puts it out on her inner thigh. She screams out in pain again.

* * *

After reviewing the motel security footage, they spotted a tractor-trailer in the parking lot at the same time Ziva was being taken.

"Which way did he go?" At the police precinct, Gibbs spoke to a truck driver who claims to have seen the car Ziva was abducted in.

" _I think he went south, towards Hatzerim_." The man said in Hebrew, the officer interpreted.

Gibbs slammed his hand on "You THINK?! We don't have time for thoughts, Mr. Zamir! My daughters life is at stake here!"

* * *

Eli was out of breath as he chained Ziva back to the chair. He had raped a girl who was once his daughter. " _Nathaniel, you were so right, she is so…hot and tight. I love hearing her scream._ "

Ziva sat there sobbing. Eli took a long swig of a bottle of wine, finishing it. " _Nathaniel, have some fun. I am going to get more wine._ "

As Eli exited the room, Nathaniel approached Ziva with an electric cattle prod. " _Let's see how long you can last, little girl._ _Your father had it modified to emit up to 10 volts of electricity._ "

He turned the dial all the way up, " _I'm going to make you scream_."

* * *

Gibbs and Tony drove around with the local LEO's; they looked at the traffic cams for the car Ziva was taken in.

"Here, they turned here." The driver looked at Gibbs pointing. They made a turn onto a street lined with warehouses. Pulling up to the gate, they asked a guard if he'd seen the car. He said it was headed toward lot G.

" _Gimel! Lekh!_ (G! Let's go!)" Gibbs shouted in Hebrew at the driver.

As the car pulled away, the guard dialed a number, " _Time to move."_

* * *

Back in the warehouse, Eli slammed down the phone. He ran to the room with Ziva and Nathaniel. Ziva was passed out; Nathaniel was cleaning the blood off the cattle prod.

" _Nathaniel, we need to move, now. Dress her! Quickly!_ " Nathaniel grabbed Ziva, she moaned, slightly waking up.

Nathaniel grabbed her skirt and tee shirt. He placed duct tape over her mouth so she would make no sound. He dressed her and shackled her wrists and ankles before throwing her over his shoulder.

Eli threw the door open to find a gun aimed at his head. Nathaniel stayed far behind enough to see the scene. He retreated with Ziva into a secret passage below the warehouse.

"I would not do that if I were you, Mr. Gibbs. If you kill me, you will never find her body."

Gibbs kept his gun aimed at the mobster's head. "She's not dead, Eli. I'd have felt it. Now WHERE is she?"

Eli chuckled, "You really think I am going to tell you? I hope you had the chance to bed her. It was quite the SWEET experience." Gibbs grabbed Eli and twisted his arm behind this back, throwing him against the wall.

" **Where is she?** " Gibbs growled in his ear. Eli laughed again at Gibbs' rough behavior. "Currently? Six feet under."

* * *

Six feet below the warehouse, Nathaniel carried Ziva through the tunnel. They stopped at a ladder under a small door. He set her down off of his shoulder.

" _Climb up._ " He cocked his pistol. _"Now._ " She groaned behind the duct tape as she slowly climbed up the ladder, her knees weak from torture.

Nathaniel followed her, his gun still aimed at her head.

They stood in an empty garage. Ziva could smell the gasoline in the corner. There were a few tires lying around and what looked like half of a fender hanging from the ceiling.

Nathaniel hit a button on the wall, the fender lowered. He grabbed her arm and brought her over to the hanging bumper. He unhooked one side and slid her still cuffed wrists over it. Putting the hook back in, he walked over to the button and hit it again. Slowly Ziva was lifted off the ground, her legs dangling.

Nathaniel grabbed the tires from around the room and made a pile below the dangling Israeli. Next he grabbed a gasoline can from the corner and poured it over the tires. He made a trail of gasoline from the tires to the hatch where they entered.

Before he climbed back down, he lit a match, igniting the gasoline. " _Shalom, Ziva._ " He closed the hatch and ran swiftly towards another exit.

As the fire burned slowly below her, Ziva tried to think of an escape plan. She struggled, trying to swing her feet above her to get farther away from the flames.

* * *

 **A/N: To be continued. The next chapter is halfway done. I was going to make this one longer but it felt too long. Enjoy!**


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

* * *

Gibbs shoved Eli into the car. He was about to get in when Tony tapped him on the shoulder, "Boss." He pointed towards some smoke coming out of a nearby warehouse.

"Ziva." Gibbs slammed the door shut. "Tony, stay here, don't let him out of your sight. And call an ambulance!"

Gibbs ran towards the smoke as quickly as he could. As he approached the smoke, he saw flames in the window.

He tried to open the doors, burning his hand in the process. Pulling out his gun, he shot a handle off.

Bursting the doors open, he could barely see through the smoke. "Ziva!"

Ziva coughed, "Papa!" She yelled, her voice hoarse from breathing in smoke.

He saw his daughter clinging to something near the ceiling. She had unhooked the fender on one side and was hanging from the hook by her shackles.

"There is—" She coughed violently. "Button wall!" was all she could get out before coughing and wheezing.

He searched for a button on the wall and found it, he hit it and she lowered down. She could feel her ankles being scorched by the flames.

Gibbs ran over to her and was blocked by fire. "Ziver! I'm gonna keep lowering you, I need you to swing yourself over to me, when I say so, can you do that?" He yelled.

She nodded and coughed as she prepared to swing her body, tucking her feet to avoid the fire below.

Gibbs pressed the button and lowered her enough so he could grab her. "Now, Ziva!"

Ziva grunted as she swung herself just above the flames. Gibbs grasped her legs and lifted her slightly so she could unhook her wrists from the metal chain.

Bringing her down, the fire still roared behind them. She coughed and wheezed, her eyes rolling back in her head as he carried her out of the warehouse.

Both of their faces black from smoke. Gibbs ran with her in his arms for a few feet before he saw the fire truck and ambulance. "She needs oxygen! Now!"

They took her and Gibbs in the ambulance, both of them had on oxygen masks. Gibbs sat as Ziva lay on a gurney.

He held her hand as she drifted in and out of consciousness.

* * *

At the hospital, Gibbs was treated for smoke inhalation and a cut on his head. Ziva did not fare so well. She had many more injuries that required surgery and sedation.

Tony stayed with Ziva at the hospital. Due to her severe burns, she had to be sedated so she could not feel the pain.

Back at the police station, Gibbs glared at Eli through a one-way mirror.

Eli sat in an interrogation room. Staring at Gibbs as if he knew he was on the other side.

"I know you are there, Mr. Gibbs." He puts his feet up on the table. "Allow me to tell you a bit about the girl you call your daughter. She is quite the stunning young whore. She may be small, but she can take a large…instrument." He licks his lips.

"She feels like hot silk and tastes like a Gala apple." He leans his head back and closes his eyes. "And when she comes, makes this whistle in the back of her throat. It's beautiful."

Gibbs smashed a chair through the window. Eli backwards in his chair and ducked under the table. "You BASTARD!" he yelled as officers held him back. "I'll kill you! You won't be safe anywhere! You hear me?!"

* * *

Back at the hospital, Ziva laid in bed, unconscious and connected to a ventilator.

Tony held her hand. "I can't even imagine what you went through, Zi. I just…please don't leave me."

There was a knock at the doorway of the room. Tony turned around. In the doorway stood a 6' tall man in a white coat. "Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Dr. Stephens." The British man held out his hand, Tony shook it. "I'll be working on Ziva's case. May I ask, what is your relation to her?"

"I'm her boyfriend. Tony, DiNozzo. You're from London?" The doctor chuckled, "Devon, actually, a bit south of London. I'm, uh, here for a rotation, and it's good to have someone who speaks English for non-Israeli patients."

"Yeah, that's a bit of a relief for me. I don't speak much Hebrew." Tony chuckled.

After a moment of silence, Dr. Stephens opened Ziva's file. "I see here she's being treated for smoke inhalation, 2nd and 3rd degree burns, cuts, some vaginal tearing, and …whip marks?"

Tears formed in Tony's eyes, "She was kidnapped and tortured…and raped."

The doctor tried to not look too shocked. "Did they find the man who did this to her? I'm sorry that was inappropriate."

Tony bit his lip, trying not to cry. "No, it's not, it…it was her father. Well, not her father anymore, her birth father. She's actually my boss's daughter. I just…I hate seeing her in pain. She's been through so much already. I don't know how much more she can take."

"I'm going to recommend that the psychiatrist come by and talk to you and your boss. Is he in the country?" The doctor asked while jotting down notes.

"He's at the police station right now, hopefully helping her father get arrested." He looked at Ziva again, stroking her forehead with his thumb. She was asleep, but he could hear her whimpering. "Is she in pain?"

"More likely than not. I'll go talk to the nurse about upping her pain meds. I'll be back later to check in on her and speak with her father."

Tony mouth 'thanks' as the doctor leaves. "You're gonna be okay, Ziva. You have to be. I can't live without you." He leans on her bed rail, exhausted. Holding her hand, he drifts off to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: There will be a time jump coming up soon. Thank you to those who continue to read and support me. Reviews help me write! Thanks guys!**


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

 **A/N: Anything spoken in Hebrew is in Italics.**

* * *

May 31st 2000

* * *

Ziva woke up feeling like she couldn't breathe, she could barely see and she could hear beeping and someone saying her name and speaking Hebrew.

" _Ziva? Ziva? It's okay, you're in the hospital. My name is Dr. Phillip Stephens_." The handsome doctor took her hand, " _If you can hear me, squeeze my hand_." She squeezed.

" _Good, you have a tube in your throat helping you breathe, if you want the tube out, squeeze my hand_." She squeezed so hard she almost didn't let go.

" _Shayna_ , _raise the head of the bed, please._ " The nurse, Shayna, raised Ziva's upper body up to a 45-degree angle.

The doctor leaned over her, looking her in the eyes. " _I'm gonna take the tube out in a minute but don't try to talk yet_." He positioned himself to extract the tube. _"I'm gonna need you to exhale really big for me, okay?"_ She nodded.

" _Ready? Go_." She pushed out a breath as hard as she could.

The nurse handed her a cup of water with a straw. She sipped at it for a moment. Then she motioned for a pen and paper.

The doctor tore off a sheet of paper and put it on a tray table. Swinging it around to reach her, he handed her a pen.

She wrote in English, 'You are not from here, are you?'. The doctor chuckled lightly, "No. Would you prefer I speak English?" She nodded.

She began writing again. 'Where is my Papa? And my boyfriend?' He smiled, "They went to get coffee. Should be back any moment."

'Do they know I am awake?' Gibbs appeared in the doorway, "Hey doc, how's she—Ziva. You're awake!" He put his coffee on top of the wardrobe in the corner.

He held her face in his hands and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "Hey little one, welcome back." He smiled and looked at her like nothing else mattered.

She tried to talk but the doc stopped her, "No, Ziva, no talking yet. Your vocal chords need to heal."

Ziva pouted, then wrote, 'Where is Tony?' "He's at the police station, interrogating your fa—Eli. He wanted me to tell you that he will be back soon and that he…loves you." Gibbs smiled slightly.

Gibbs sighed as sat in a chair and he held his daughters tiny hand. "He's going to prison, Ziver. You're safe now."

She practically rips her hand from his, 'What about Nathaniel Amir?'

Gibbs looked at her, confused, "Ziva that was years ago, what does he have to do with—" Ziva writing furiously cut him off.

'He helped Eli keep me captive, he tortured me, HE set that fire. We have to get him, Papa.' She looked at him with determination.

Shayna knocked on the door and entered. "Mr. Gibbs, I just need to give her more pain medication." Shayna sounded French Israeli. Her wavy dark brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail that swung when she walked. "We are going to have a um…" She searched for the word in English, "Psychological evaluation done later as well as a wound care specialist. Is there anything we can do right now, Ziva?" She shook her head. Shayna updated Ziva's chart after administering more medication into her IV, then left.

Ziva sighed heavily. In the large bed, she looked so small, so young.

Gibbs looked at her with sadness and a glint of fear in his eyes. "Ziva…did he rape you…again?"

She shook her head rapidly. 'He tortured me, burned me. He held me down as Eli raped me.' She paused as tears filled her eyes. 'When my father was raping me, I wanted to die. I prayed that I would die.'

A tear rolled down Gibbs cheek, "Ziver…" A small sob escaped him as he smoothed her hair. "I can't imagine what he put you through. But—" he choked up. His voice shaky, his lip quivering slightly, "I know you can get through this. WE can get through this. When we get back to the states we're gonna get you the best therapist and the best doctors. I love you so much Ziva, I just…" He sniffles, "You're my baby girl and I can't imagine life without you."

Ziva had tears streaming down her face, "Don't cry, Papa." She said in a hoarse almost squeaky whisper.

Gibbs wiped his eyes and kissed her on the head. "I love you, my girl. Why don't you rest? I'll be right here. I promise."

She nodded and signed 'I love you too' to him. Gibbs smiled and kissed her knuckles. He whispered, "Rest now, my love."

As Ziva attempted to get comfortable in her hospital bed, Gibbs called Tony to inform him that they needed to find and capture Nathaniel. "Oh, and DiNozzo? Be careful." He hung up.

* * *

 **A/N: new chapter will hopefully be written soon. Needing feedback please? Thanks guys!**


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

 **A/N: Hebrew is in Italics.**

 **A/N 2: Thank you guys so much for the reviews!**

* * *

Tony went back to the scene of the fire with the police. One of the officers, Detective Avram Rametz, spoke both English and Hebrew fluently and was able to translate for him.

As the other officers gathered evidence with the help of the fire department, Tony looked around the room for clues as to how they entered the garage when the door was locked from the outside.

Tony checked the entirety of the walls for a crack or a hidden door and found nothing. As he walked around, he stepped on what felt like a loose piece of floor.

"Rametz! I think I found something." The detective came over and put his flashlight in his mouth while lifting up the loose concrete with his gloved hand.

To their surprise, they heard a creak as the concrete lifted, revealing what appeared to be a hatch and a ladder.

"After you, Mr. DiNozzo." Tony climbed down the ladder slowly as Det. Rametz called over his partner, Detective Levi Persky.

" _Careful, it's dark down there._ " The younger detective almost shouted.

"What do you think the flashlight is for, Persky?" Rametz responded in English to give Tony a clue as to what he said. " _Stay there, Levi_. _Don't let anyone down here._ "

Tony and Avram walked slowly down the dark hallway, Tony knocked on the wall until he found a hollow point. "Psst! Rametz." He cocked his head toward the wall.

Tony and the detective drew their guns before Rametz kicked in the door. "Clear." Rametz said after observing the room.

He looked around with wide eyes. "Tony, I don't think you should see this."

"I need to, Avram." Tony gently pushed him aside. Tony walked in and could smell blood and what smelled like something burning. There was also another scent he couldn't quite place.

He put on a second pair of gloves as he picked up the cattle prod hanging on the wall. "What is this thing?"

"It is like a…how you say, cow electric stick?" Avram said as he took photos of the room, documenting every inch.

Tony looked at him with sadness and fear. Turning around, he saw a table with shackles bolted to it. It was stained with blood in one spot. "Rametz, is this where…where he…" Tony couldn't even finish his sentence.

"I am afraid so, Tony." He took a few flash photos of the table before looking around the room again. "Come, Tony, we need to see where this door leads." He said, pointing to the door in the corner.

Slowly Avram pushed the unlocked door open, his gun drawn as he does so. He crooks his finger to tell Tony to follow him.

Tony followed him slowly, his gun in his hand. Avram whispered, "Clear." as Tony searched around for a light switch. Flipping on the lights with a loud click, what they saw shocked them. The small room was lined with ramblings in Hebrew and photos of Ziva. "Tony, we need to move on. Come on." Avram said.

They walked up the stairs quietly. At the top of the steps there was a small hole in the door. Avram peeked through it and saw more darkness; what looked like a kitchen, and an assortment of knives stuck in the wall.

* * *

Back at the hospital, Dr. Stephens was filling Gibbs in on Ziva's condition. "I already discussed this with her boyfriend but I wanted to fill you in. She has several 2nd degree burns. A few from what looks like a cigar and some from…something I can't place."

"Electric cattle prod." Gibbs said, almost in a whisper.

"Oh…" The doctor jotted it down in her file. "Her wrists are bruised, her ankles are burned, she has gashes on her back, …" The doctor read the list of injuries, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Cuts and burns on her breasts and vaginal tearing. I also noticed some healing scars on her outer thighs and wrists."

Gibbs took a slow breath. "She uh…" A tear formed in his eye. "She used to cut herself. Hasn't in a while. She's attempted suicide. Twice. Been raped **four** times now." His voice breaks slightly as a tear rolls down his cheek. "She's only 16. She…I don't think I could handle the things she's been through." He wipes the tear from his eye.

Dr. Stephens put a hand on the crying mans shoulder. "Mr. Gibbs, we are going to do everything we can while she is in Israel. Does she have a doctor in the US we can follow up with?"

"Yeah, uh at Bethesda Hospital. I'll get you the fax number."

* * *

Tony and Avram found another secret passage. It lead to a cellar filled with gardening tools, boxes of videotapes, and old newspapers. "Someone's a hoarder." Tony retorted.

They searched around with flashlights as they went up the small staircase to the exit.

Opening the doors with guns drawn, they found themselves in a backyard. "Let's see if anyone's home." The slowly made their way to the front of the house.

Tony ruffled his own hair a bit and loosened his tie. He put some dirt on his pant leg. Avram stood out of sight as Tony knocked on the front door.

Nathaniel answered the door. He looked angry. "Um, Shalom, um…English? Heh, I uh, my car broke down a few houses down and my cell is dead. Would you mind if I used your phone real quick to call my boss? He's gonna fire me if I'm late again."

He stared hard at Tony. "Wait here." He left the door slightly ajar. Coming back moments later with a corded telephone, he handed the receiver to Tony. "The dial is on the wall, what is the number?"

"100. (A/N: That's like 911 in the US or 999 in the UK)" He flashed a smile before tackling Nathaniel and cuffing him. Tony didn't care about not following procedure in this case. "Read him his rights, Avram."

Avram gave him a 'are you kidding me?' look before reading Nathaniel his rights and cuffing him to the metal railing outside his home.

Avram called his partner to have them take the car to their location.

Back at the police station, Nathaniel was booked and was waiting to be interrogated. In the meantime, Tony went back to the hospital.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this chapter was mostly filler but I should have more soon. Xoxo!**


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

 **A/N: It's a long chapter here!**

* * *

Back at the hospital, Tony walked out of the elevator. He saw Gibbs talking to the doctor and shaking his hand. "What's up, Boss? She outta here?"

"Yeah, DiNozzo, she's out of THIS hospital for now, seeing she's stable, but when we get back to the US, she's gonna have to be checked out again. I mean, I gotta go back to work, but I'm gonna need you to step up." Gibbs looked exhausted as he leaned against the wall.

"What about me, Boss? Don't I have to work too? What're you gonna do without me?" He flashed his trademark grin.

"Gotta train the new kid, sometime." Gibbs chuckled a bit.

"What new kid? You replacing me, Gibbs?" Tony looked at him, nervous.

"Name's Timothy McGee, fresh outta a 2 year college. His dads an admiral and he's real good at computers and doo dah's like that. Just gonna try 'im out while you take care of Ziver." He put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, reassuring him.

Tony mock wiped his forehead, "Whew, you scared me for a minute there, Boss."

Gibbs grinned at him, "Come on, let's get Ziva. Our flight's in 3 hours."

* * *

They landed back in America 20 hours later. It was 2300 so they went straight to bed. Gibbs and Ziva slept in his room, so he could monitor her if needed. Tony slept in Ziva's room.

The next morning, Gibbs helped Ziva change the bandages on her burned ankles after she took a sponge bath. She was still healing and was in pain so the water hitting her sensitive spots would have done more harm than good.

She applied vitamin E cream to the scars and burns on her breast and inner thigh. The stitches inside of her were not comfortable and using the bathroom was a bit painful. She knew she was going to the doctor with Tony today so she'd feel comfortable talking about it in front of him and not Gibbs.

She brushed her wet hair and put it into a bun. She threw on one of Gibbs old Marine sweatshirts and wore a pair of wide leg cotton pants. She made sure to wear a cotton training-bra and a loose black tank top underneath in case she needed to remove her sweatshirt. She had to wear a pair of Tony's boxers because they were the only comfortable thing she could wear with her burns and stitches.

Before heading to work, Gibbs kissed her on the head and hugged her carefully as to not brush against any wounds. "Love you Ziver. Be good for Tony and the doc today, okay?" She nodded. "Love you too Papa, I will call you after the appointment."

* * *

Tony held Ziva's bag as she in at the nurses station. "I am here to see Dr. Weiss and I have a 2:30 with Dr. Cranston."

The nurse looked annoyed that she gave her so much info at once. "Name?"

"Ziva David." She pulled nervously at the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

"Have a seat, we'll call you in a few minutes." The nurse said as she typed something into the computer.

She sat with Tony; he put his arm around her and kissed her head. "It'll be okay, Zi."

They sat in the waiting area for about 10 minutes, watching some morning talk show.

"Ziva…Da-veed?" The nurse called out after looking at the pronunciation on the chart.

Ziva grabbed her bag and got up as Tony joined her. She slipped her hand in his as they walked into the doctors' office.

A young pale brunette walked into the room. "Hey there, I'm Paige, I'm just gonna get some vitals before the doc gets here, kay?" The cheerful young nurse said as she reached into a drawer and pulled out a paper gown. "Please take everything off including undergarments, put this on with the opening in the front, feel free to use the belt until the doctor comes in and I'll be back in a sec." She smiled as she handed the girl the grayish gown.

Ziva removed everything except her Star of David. She felt it made her feel brave and reminded her of her Ima.

* * *

When the nurse returned, she took Ziva's blood pressure and heart rate. Her blood pressure was normal, which was surprising, but she was nervous so it made her pressure look normal as opposed to low. Her heart rate was a worryingly low 50 beats per minute. The nurse noted it in the chart.

Her weight was 92 lbs, still very underweight. She had only gained 2 pounds since January, despite her eating more.

"Hop up on the table there. Dr. Weiss will be with you in a few minutes." Nurse Paige smiled before closing the door.

* * *

She and Tony sat in silence as they waited for the doctor. He just held her hand, soothing it with his thumb.

There was a knock on the door before it opened. "Hello, I'm Dr. Weiss." She extended her French manicured hand to shake Ziva's and Tony's.

Tony smiled slightly at her, "Hi, Tony, I'm uh, Ziva's boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, Tony." Her ponytail swung as she turned to Ziva, "Are you comfortable with him being here?" The girl nodded.

"Tony knows everything about me, I would prefer he stays." She said quietly.

"Okay. So, Ziva…I see here you have several burns, cuts, gashes; a few stitches," She ran her eyes over the chart on her lap. "You're rather underweight and your low heartbeat is concerning."

"I—I um…I have suffered from anorexia in the recent past but I have been…doing okay as of late. I don't know if Dr. Stephens faxed over my records—"

"He did, it's okay, no need to explain, let us begin the examination. Are you going to be okay laying back with your wounds?" Ziva nodded.

The doctor took out the stirrups. "Tell me if you are in pain in this position, okay?" "Okay." Ziva said, grabbing Tony's hand.

She examined the stitching inside of Ziva. "It looks good, just be sure to keep it clean and no sex for a while."

Ziva blushed a bit, squeezing Tony's hand tighter. "That's how it happened actually I…I was…." She looked at Tony with tears in her eyes.

"She was raped…by her father—her biological father, not her adoptive father." Tony interjected.

Dr. Weiss felt like she was going to vomit, but she kept her composure. "Oh…I'm so sorry, I didn't see that in the file." The doc knew she was raped, but not by her own father.

She brushed her finger over the burn on Ziva's inner thigh. "I don't want that to get infected so I'm going to send you home with some healing cream, it's like a stronger vitamin E and helps tissue repair."

She took Ziva's legs out of the stirrups and pulled her gown down to cover her.

"I need to look at the wounds on your breast and back. Just pull the top down, you can keep your bottom half covered."

Slowly Ziva pulled down the upper portion of the thin gown exposing her small breasts. The left one bandaged lightly. She felt a chill as her abused back hit the open air.

Tony had not seen her back, he barely held in a gasp as he saw the crimson whipping marks that scarred her olive skin.

The doctor carefully removed the bandage, inspecting the cut and burn on the top of her breast, Ziva winced as the doctor examined her. "It is healing well. I am going to have you come back in a few weeks to take another look. Do you have any questions for me?"

Ziva shook her head, "No, thank you for seeing me."

He doctor smiled slightly, "It was nice to meet you both. Best of luck and I'll see you soon." She shook both of their hands and left.

* * *

 **A/N: Just wanted to update here. If you have not watched the most recent episode of NCIS, you really should. It was…something. Thanks in advance for the reviews. Ziva will be meeting with Dr. Cranston in the next chapter.**


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

 **A/N: This chapter contains the following triggers: self-harm, eating disorders, and thoughts of suicide.**

 **A/N 2: Thoughts are formatted as bold and underlined. Hebrew is in Italics. This is also a LONG chapter.**

 **A/N 3: Neshama means darling in Hebrew.**

* * *

Ziva looked at the clock on the wall; it was 2:45 pm. She was anxious enough as it was about meeting with Dr. Cranston again and she felt like each second passed by so slowly that even waiting 15 minutes past her appointment time felt like torture.

She began to hear voices in her head,

' **She forgot about you. She doesn't care about you. No one does. They all feel sorry for you.'**

Ziva stared at the wall with glassy eyes.

' **Your father was right. You deserved to be punished.'**

Tony noticed her look of emptiness. "Zi? You okay?" She didn't answer or move.

' **You are worthless.'**

He placed his hand on hers. "Ziva?" He almost shouted. She snapped out of her daze. "What? Nothing." She said.

He crouched down in front of her, "Hey." He lifted her chin in his palm, "It's okay. I love you, _neshama_." He whispered in her ear.

"Ziva?" They were almost startled at hearing her name called by the nurse.

Tony stood up and took Ziva's hand to help her out of the chair.

* * *

The nurse led them into Dr. Cranston's office. She was sat at her desk, going over Ziva's new file information. "I'm sorry for the late start, my last session went over. Thank you for waiting."

She closed the file and turned towards Tony and Ziva. "Oh, I'm surprised Jeth-uh, your dad isn't here. I actually needed to address that. I am going to have to refer you to my colleague Dr. Amanda Winter. I can't treat you due to my daughter being your friend."

She wanted to say, 'My involvement with your father.' But knew that would not go down well.

"She will be here in a moment but I just wanted you to hear that from me before you met her."

Dr. Winter knocked on the door. "Come in, Amanda!" She smiled at Ziva and put her hand on her shoulder. "You're in good hands, Ziva. You can trust her." She mouthed 'Thanks' to Amanda before leaving.

The slender blonde shook both of their hands. "Hi, nice to meet you both."

Tony smiled, "Tony, I'm Ziva's boyfriend. Nice to meet you, Dr. Winter."

She smiled back at him, "Please, call me Amanda. And it's nice to meet you, Ziva. Rachel filled me in as much as she could."

Ziva smiled slightly, not wanting to be rude. "Nice to meet you, too." She almost whispered.

"So…" Amanda sat in the chair that had been previously occupied by Dr. Cranston. She thumbed the pages of the file. "Let's start at the beginning. Tell me about your childhood."

Ziva felt like she couldn't speak, like her small voice was trapped in her throat. Tony put his hand on hers again. "It's okay, sweetie."

She took a shaky breath, "I was born in Israel. My father—Eli—was not a good man. He was what do you call it? A gangster?"

"He was a mob boss." Tony clarified.

"Yes, that. He used to beat me if I did the slightest thing he did not like." She went on to tell Dr. Winter about how she was institutionalized in Israel, she told her about the rapes and her mental and physical issues that occurred from ages 11-15.

"I see here you recently returned from a trip to Israel. You sustained some injuries from an attack?" Amanda was being vague because she wanted Ziva to be the one to talk about it.

Ziva looked down at her feet, "I do not want to talk about that." She said almost inaudibly.

"That's okay, whenever you are ready to talk about it, we will. We're almost out of time, anyway, but I will see you next week, okay?" Amanda spoke to her like she would a child.

Ziva nodded. The doctor shook their hands again before opening the door, letting them out.

* * *

On the drive back to Gibbs' house, Ziva was quiet. Tony hummed along to the radio, Ziva wasn't listening to what it was as the voices in her head were louder than before.

' **He's going to leave you. You are damaged goods. No one will want you now.'**

She stared out the window as a tear rolled down her cheek.

' **Why bother going back to school on Monday? You have no friends. Emma just used you because she was bored.'**

Tony pulled into the driveway and unbuckled his seatbelt. He got out of the car and opened the door for Ziva. She sat in her seat, still buckled.

Tony shook her shoulder a bit. "Zi? We're home."

She wasn't responding, the voice in her head changed to her father's.

' **You are a stupid worthless whore. Pathetic little girl.'**

Tony slowly reached around her to unbuckle her seatbelt. Feeling his arm brush her chest, she grabbed his wrist.

Looking down at the wrist she was grasping, she realized where she was. "Tony, I am sorry I was…I am very tired."

He looked at her confused and concerned. "Come on let's get you inside."

* * *

He opened the door, letting her enter in front of him. It was only 4:30; Gibbs would not be home for another hour.

Ziva sat on the couch and stared at the television; it was off. Tony put his bag down by the door. "You hungry? We could order in."

Her father's voice screamed at her again.

' **You should kill yourself.'**

"Ziva?" Tony looked over at her, seeing her staring at the television he could see her shaking slightly. He walked over to her and sat down next to her; waving his hand in front of her face to get her to snap out of it.

He knew what would bring her back. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her with passion.

Realizing she was kissing her boyfriend, her mind cleared. Tony felt her tongue enter his mouth. He grabbed her messy hair to pull her even closer.

She pulled away slightly. "Tony…" She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you."

She licked her lips a bit as she pushed him down on the couch and devoured his mouth with hers.

The front door opened. "Hey I brought pizz—aaah come on! How do I always walk in on you two?" Gibbs stood there annoyed.

Ziva got off of Tony and wiped her eyes and mouth. "Sorry, Papa." She skipped over to him and hugged him tight. "How was work?"

"Eh, the usual." He looked at Tony, who clearly had something on his mind. "Ziver why don't you go set the table? I need to have a talk with…Tony." He felt weird using DiNozzo's first name.

"Okay." She said before taking the pizza from her father's hands and went into the kitchen.

"Alright, DiNozzo, how was the appointment?" Gibbs sat next to Tony on the couch.

"It went alright. Dr. Cranston had to pass her off to another doc because she's a friend of Emma's. She seemed to take it okay but she's been having these episodes where she'll just stare blankly. Her eyes get all glassy and she doesn't respond when I try to snap her out of it." He ran a hand through his thick brown hair. "I'm worried Boss. Real worried."

* * *

In the kitchen, Ziva reached for a glass high in the cupboard. It fell to the floor shattering.

Tony and Gibbs ran into the kitchen upon hearing the sound. They found Ziva in a fetal position under the table muttering in Hebrew.

" _I am so sorry, Abba, please don't hurt me, please, I am so sorry._ " Tony and Gibbs looked at her in confusion. "What's she saying, Boss?"

Gibbs reached out to touch Ziva's arm that was wrapped around her legs. "She thinks she's back with Eli." Approaching her slowly, he said quietly, "Ziver? It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt ya." He put his hand on her wrist.

She screamed, " _No! Please! Please don't punish me!_ " She wailed in Hebrew, sobbing.

Tony watched the scene with tears in his eyes.

Gibbs sat on the floor, she put herself flush against the wall, her voice squeaked as she pleaded with him, " _Please don't rape me. Not again. Anything but that, it hurt so much Abba."_

He took her hand in his and brushed her knuckles with his thumb. "Ziva, it's not Eli. It's Gibbs." He brought her hand to his cheek. "It's just me, Ziver. It's Papa."

Ziva looked at him through strands of hair in her face. "Papa?" She looked up at him with a face that could break anyone's heart. She looked so scared, so small, so fragile. Gibbs almost broke down, seeing his daughter like this. His lip quivered, "You're okay Ziva. Papa's got you."

"Papa!" She cried out as she threw herself in his arms, sobbing. He smoothed her hair and kissed her head as he rocked her. "Shh…it's okay. You're okay now."

Tony stood back, watching in awe. Seeing Gibbs at his best, being a father. He was grateful to have him there, but was so afraid for Ziva's future.

* * *

 **A/N4: A small time jump IS coming! Thank you for reading and reviewing so far! This story is still nowhere near the end.**


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

 **A/N: Please note the time jump. We left off in the year 2000.**

 **A/N 2: Flashbacks are in Italics. Dreams are between these symbols- ########.**

 **A/N 3: T/W: Sexual assault (in a dream sequence).**

* * *

June 12th, 2002

* * *

After many trials, tribulations, trips to the hospital, therapy sessions, and of course, studying, Ziva finally got her GED.

It had been two years since she had been to Israel. Two years since she had been violated.

She and Tony toyed with the idea of moving in together, as they were very serious at this point in their relationship.

However, Ziva was still having many major setbacks. She had PTSD and was suffering from extreme depression and anxiety.

The previous year had been difficult, to say the least.

* * *

 _Flashback_

* * *

 _March 23_ _rd_ _2001_

* * *

 _Most days Ziva would sleep until 2pm. She often suffered from night terrors so she didn't sleep._

 _And when Ziva didn't sleep, Gibbs didn't sleep. One day he was so tired that he fell asleep at the wheel and almost went off the road. Thankfully Probationary Agent Timothy McGee was in the front seat and grabbed the steering wheel before slamming the car into park._

 _Since then, Gibbs had Tony, Jenny or Rachel stay with Ziva at all times. Larry would gladly watch her when he wasn't on a business trip, but he was away more often than not._

 _Tony was concerned for his girlfriend of one year. She looked so fragile all the time, as if she could break at any moment._

* * *

 _July 10_ _th_ _, 2001_

* * *

 _In the sweltering heat of the 90-degree weather, Ziva would hide the cuts on her arms and thighs under long sleeves and pants._

 _She never minded the layers as she was always freezing anyway. Her weight had plummeted to 82 pounds._

 _Her cheekbones were sunken in; she had dark circles under her eyes. Her once olive colored skin was almost gray. Her thick locks fell out in clumps._

 _It hurt to sit, to move, to be touched. She would slice her skin to feel something, to know she was alive. She loved to watch the blood run down her legs and down the drain._

 _She would hide herself away in her bedroom, hoping those around her would forget she was there, that maybe if she prayed hard enough, she would just disappear._

 _She wanted to do more than just disappear. She wanted to die._

* * *

End Flashback

* * *

(Still) June 12th, 2002

* * *

Ziva sat in the kitchen having dinner with Gibbs. Flashes of lightning outside lit the dim room. Thunder and sounds of rain filled the house. "Papa? Can I sleep in your room tonight?" She asked, taking a bite of her mashed potatoes.

Gibbs looked at his 18-year-old daughter, surprised at the question coming from her mouth.

He held back a chuckle. "Ziver, you're eighteen years old, you still need dear old dad to stay with ya every time there's a thunder storm?"

She swallowed a mouthful of spinach. "Well, Tony's not here so…please?" She looked at him with pleading eyes.

He got up, picking up his empty plate to put into the sink. He walked over to her and kissed her on the head. "Of course, kid."

Gibbs couldn't say no to that face, she had been through so much in the past 2 years.

Ziva finally looked healthy. She was up to 95 pounds and was eating at every meal. Her self-harming was few and far between. She was still having some night terrors and had self-esteem issues due to her scars.

Tony was there for her when Gibbs couldn't be. They had only been 'together' five times in the past two years, but he knew she was delicate and he never initiated sex, she always did. He went as slow as she needed him to. He was very gentle and attentive.

Of course, Gibbs wasn't thrilled with the idea of his daughter being sexually active, especially with one of his own subordinates, but he seemed to make her happy and was one of the good ones.

* * *

At 0300, Ziva and Gibbs were asleep. Ziva was whimpering and was clearly having a nightmare.

##################################

" _Tony, what is the matter with you?!" Ziva shouted as Tony grasped her wrists, pinning her against their bedroom door._

 _Tony grinned; he was practically drooling. "You're what's the matter with me. You just make me so frustrated. All I wanna do is screw you against the wall and I can't! Poor, delicate Ziva, so fragile, I'm SICK OF IT!" He removed his belt and unzipped his pants._

 _His eyes were wild with lust as he entered her hard. "Please! Stop! It hurts!"_

 _He smacked her across the face, "Shut up bitch. You know you love it." He pinned her shoulders to the wall, she slammed against it with each thrust._

###################################

Gibbs tried to calm his crying and thrashing daughter. "Ziva, wake up!" She was still trying to fight him. "ZIVA!" He shouted.

She heard his voice and woke up. "No! Get off me, please stop!" She tried to push him away.

"Ziva it's me, it's Gibbs!" She looked at him with fear and embarrassment.

"Gibbs. I…I am so sorry I—" Gibbs held her face in his hands. "You were having a nightmare." He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Her voice shook. "Tony was ra—raping me. He…it felt so real." Tears ran down her face.

Gibbs kissed her forehead. "It wasn't, it's okay. You're okay, my girl." He pulled her close. "Papa's here. You're safe." He stroked her hair as she cried, her tears wetting his t-shirt.

* * *

When Gibbs awoke the next morning, he found it impossible to move; mostly because his arm was trapped under his sleeping daughter. He smiled he wrapped his arms around her, feeling her heart beat, hearing her breathing softly. 'This moment is perfect' He thought to himself.

He closed his eyes and thought of Shannon and Kelly. He missed them so much, but he had his Ziver now. He was happy, finally.

* * *

 **A/N: Just a fluffy update to get y'all through. I'll update again soon!**


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

 **A/N: Flashbacks are in Italics. (There are a few curse words in this chapter, just so ya know!)**

 **A/N 2: This is a LONG chapter, almost 1800 words. It contains descriptions of eating disorders and what the effects could lead to.**

* * *

Gibbs awoke when he heard a soft knock on his bedroom door. He found himself alone in bed, his arm creased from Ziva's nightshirt pressed against it.

"Papa?" Ziva made sure he was decent before she entered.

Carrying a tray of food, she presented him with a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries on top, two pieces of toast with butter, a banana, a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee.

Gibbs sat up so she could place the tray in front of him. "Ziver, you made breakfast? You didn't have to do that."

Sitting on the bed, she smiled as she watched him eat his oatmeal. "I had to show you how grateful I was for last night. I was so scared."

Taking a bite of toast, he grinned. "You're too much, Ziva." He kissed her head.

"Go get dressed, I got a surprise for you."

* * *

Ziva put on a knee length lavender sundress that she'd bought when she was with Jenny and Emma at the mall a few weeks ago.

She wanted something light for summer, but something that was feminine and would cover the scars on her thighs.

Gibbs threw on a pair of cargo shorts and an old Marines tee. He watched as Ziva sat on the couch, struggling with the buckle on her right sandal. "Here, let me." He sat on the edge of the wooden table in front of the couch as she extended her leg to put it on his lap.

Quickly he took the shiny gold buckle in his callused fingers and fastened it. He held on to her calf and thought of his first daughter, Kelly.

* * *

 _Kelly had been riding her bike and she fell. Scraping her shin, Gibbs cleaned the wound and put a Band-Aid on it. Smoothing it with his thumbs, he looked at his daughter's teary eyes. "Sorry daddy." She pouted._

" _Hey." He kissed her on the head and whispered in her ear. "Sometimes you gotta fall. As long as you get up."_

 _He helped her up off the front steps. "Ready to go again?"_

 _Kelly wiped a tear from her eye and nodded._

" _That's my girl." He smiled as he helped her up._

* * *

"Gibbs? You can let go of my leg now…" He snapped out of his flashback and blushed a bit. "Heh, sorry Ziver. Come on, let's go." He said, grabbing her hand, helping her off the couch.

They arrived at a carnival. There were people everywhere. You could hear screaming from the rollercoaster, laughter from children being entertained by a clown, and someone shouting "Cotton Candy! Get your cotton candy here!"

Ziva lifted her sunglasses and looked around with wide eyes. Her curly hair was wild and free, flowing in the wind.

"Come on, there's a surprise waiting for you at the bumper cars." She looked at him, confused, but walked with him anyway.

* * *

As they approached the bumper car area, Ziva felt someone tap her on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Miss? I think you dropped this."

She turned around to see Tony, holding a rose. "Tony!" She hugged him tight, inhaling his scent. His polo shirt felt so soft, she never wanted to let him go.

She pulled away, "Did you plan this, Papa?" Gibbs smirked and nodded.

She flung herself at him, almost knocking him over. He chuckled, "You're welcome, Ziva."

She stood on the tips of her toes and kissed Gibbs on the cheek. She handed him the rose. "Oh and I get to hold this…okay." He smiled internally as he watched his daughter plant a chaste kiss on her boyfriend's lips. "Have her home by 8, DiNozzo. I'm making steak tonight."

Tony grinned as his girlfriend wrapped her arms around his waist. "Sure thing Bos—uh, Sir."

Gibbs walked away smiling; shaking his head.

* * *

Tony took Ziva through the entire carnival. They went on the bumper cars, the carousel; they shared cotton candy and funnel cake. They sat on a bench by the food trucks. "Wanna go on the rollercoaster?"

Ziva laughed, "After all that food? I am pretty sure I will vomit." They both laughed.

They looked into each other's eyes until Ziva leaned in and kissed him. He held the back of her head in his hand their tongues dueled for dominance.

He broke off the kiss to breathe. "You taste sweet."

He watched her face go from one of love and lust to horror. She clasped her hand over her mouth as her eyes searched the surrounding area for a trashcan.

Tony ran after her, holding her hair back as she vomited. Once she ceased being sick, he could finally ask her, "You okay? Maybe that second cotton candy was a bad—"

She shoved him away from her. She had tears in her eyes, not just from the throwing up, but also from how his words affected her. He looked at her with a pained and confused expression.

Her eyes were filled with such anger, her chest heaved as she took deep breaths to try to calm herself. "HE used to say that when he…" She swallowed a choked sob.

Tony didn't know what to do. He was terrified and angry with himself for having said that. He honestly didn't know what he'd done wrong. He approached her slowly, "Ziva, I—"

She turned her back to him, swiftly, her eyes and fists squeezed tight in anger. "Call Gibbs. I want to go home."

* * *

"Go inside, Ziver, I'll be there in a minute." Ziva ran inside and slammed the door.

He picked up his phone and pressed a button on speed dial. "She's inside DiNozzo. Get over here."

Tony had parked his car around the block until he got the okay to come to Gibbs' house. He got out of the car; looking ashamed and a little afraid that Gibbs would kill him.

Gibbs motioned to him, "C'mere." Tony stepped closer and winced as his boss slapped him upside the head. "What the hell happened, DiNozzo?!"

Tony sighed as he rubbed the back of his head, "We finished eating some funnel cake and then we were…y'know, makin' out and I pulled away and told her she tasted…sweet."

Gibbs looked at him, in shock and anger. Tony held his hands up, defensively. "I—I had no idea that Eli had said that, honestly, Boss, I didn't I'm so sorry I—I fucked up. God damn it I really fucked up."

Rubbing his hands on his face, Tony held back tears. "What if—what if she never forgives me? What if I say something or do something that triggers her? What—" his voice broke, "What if I lose her?" He felt a lone tear roll down his cheek.

Gibbs put his hand on the younger mans shoulder. "Tony…You made a stupid mistake. That's what life is full of. Stupid mistakes. If you think the worst will happen when something like this occurs, you're not gonna make it."

Wiping the tears from his face, he took a shaky breath. "I love her, Gibbs. I love her more than anything in the world. I would DIE for her. Last year when she was sick…I thought I was gonna lose her to that stupid eating disorder. I hated it. I hated what it did to her. I couldn't hold her, I couldn't kiss her, I thought she was going to break in my arms."

* * *

 _Flashback to August 18_ _th_ _, 2001_

* * *

 _Tony knocked on Ziva's bedroom door. "Zi? You almost ready? Film starts in 20 minutes." He knocked again, looking at his watch. "Ziva?" Putting his ear to the door, he heard silence. He muttered to himself, "If she fell asleep I swear…"_

 _Taking the spare key out of his wallet, he unlocked the door. Opening it slowly as to not wake her, if she_ _ **was**_ _napping. His eyes went wide as he saw her lying on the floor. Her lips were tinted blue. "Oh God. No. No, no, no, no."_

 _He put his ear to her mouth to feel if she was breathing, she wasn't. Pressing his fingers against her neck he could make out a very faint pulse. Tilting her head back, he breathed into her mouth. Her lips were still warm._

 _He started chest compressions. After another breath, he practically screamed for Gibbs, who was in the basement. "Gibbs!"_

 _He found Tony kneeling over his daughter, his palms pressing on her chest._

 _Gibbs couldn't speak. Taking his phone out he dialed 911 and put it on speaker. "9-1-1, what is your emergency?"_

" _My—my daughter she's not breathing. She—her boyfriend is doing CPR. She's cyanotic. Please, send someone, the front door is open." Gibbs was shaking. He gave his address and waited for the EMTs to come in. "Up here! Please hurry!"_

 _The EMTs rushed up the stairs, "Sir, you need to let us work on her."_

* * *

End Flashback

* * *

Tears were flowing freely from Tony's eyes now as he relived that terrible day in his mind. His voice almost a whisper, "When she went into that coma…I thought we'd lost her, I thought, 'this is it, it's over. She's gone.' I had nightmares for weeks after that but I—I couldn't tell her I felt so selfish. I—I need her."

Gibbs pulled his agent in for an embrace. He'd never admit it, but he often saw Tony as a son, he hated to see him in pain. Sniffling, Tony whispered, "Please, help me get her back."

"Gimmie a few days. I'll keep watch of her and keep you updated." He released the young man and put his hands on his shoulders once more, "Go home, go to sleep. There's nothin' you can do right now."

Tony wiped his nose on his sleeve, "Copy, Boss." He walked towards his car as Gibbs opened the front door. "Hey, Boss?" The silver haired man turned around, "Thanks."

Gibbs pursed his lips and nodded before going inside.

* * *

 **A/N: Again a little fluff but some drama and I can't lie, I cried a bit while writing this chapter. PLEASE review. Thanks in advance. Next chap should be written by Tuesday.**


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

 **A/N: To my most loyal reviewer Debbie- Thank you so much, you have no idea what your reviews and comments mean to me. They keep me going. I wish I knew who you were!**

* * *

June 14th 2002

* * *

After Tony left, Gibbs walked up the steps to his daughter's room. Her door was slightly ajar; he pushed it open to find her sitting on her bed, her knees drawn into her chest, staring at, what he thought was, nothing in particular. "Ziver?" He said, almost in a whisper.

He could see her clutching something in her hand. He gasped audibly. "Ziva…"

"I cannot do this anymore, Gibbs." She took a shallow shaky breath. "I cannot keep doing this to him."

"Ziva. Please. Give me the gun." He held out his hand.

"Why? Why should I? I cause you nothing but grief and sadness. I may as well end it now." She cocked the gun.

Gibbs had tears in his eyes, "Ziva, please." He could barely talk. "Don't." He whispered.

She shook her head fiercely.

Slowly he went closer to her, "I love you so much. You gave me a second chance to be a father. When I look at you, all I wanna do is build you a tree house shaped like a castle, I wanna to teach you to ride a bike, teach you to swim. I want us to play catch in the backyard until the crickets chirped." He moved closer, almost touching her.

"I know you're not a little girl anymore, but I WILL do as many things with you as I can. I want to give you new, better memories; to see you laugh so hard that you can hardly breathe, I want you to be happy and healthy and make a difference in the world, like I know you can. Please…" He sniffled. "I can't lose you now. Please just…give me the gun."

With a shaky hand she handed him the sig she was gripping. He unloaded it and put it on her dresser.

He sat on the bed and pulled her into him. She sobbed as he rocked her. "You scared me so much, honey. God, I love you more than anything in the world." He kissed her head. "You're my everything. I love you so much." He let out an audible cry as tried to breathe in, calming himself.

She looked up at him, his blue pupils stood out even more with his now red eyes. Almost as if she'd just snapped back to reality, she took his face in her small hands and kissed his cheek, he felt her wet eyelashes tickle his cheekbone. She opened her mouth, trying to vocalize how grateful she was, "Thank you." She said in a choked out whisper, before burying her head in his neck. "I am so sorry, Papa, I love you." She said, muffled, her lips pressed into his shirt.

Stroking her hair, he whispered back, "Oh…my little girl, I love you too, my Ziva."

* * *

"Ziva, you almost ready to go?" Gibbs knocked on her door; he was taking her to work with him today.

Ziva opened her door. "Sorry, I could not find my shoes."

Ziva was wearing a babydoll floral top and cargo pants, her boots in hand. **(A/N: see Ziva's outfit at the end of 4X1.)**

"Put 'em on in the car, we're gonna be late." Gibbs ushered her down the stairs.

In the car, Ziva stared out the window. "Papa?"

"Hmm?" He said, not looking away from the road.

"Am I going to get to work on the field with you?" She asked as she played with the handle of the window crank.

"It's 'in the field' and no, it's too dangerous, Ziver. I'm gonna have you stay behind with Jenny and she'll show you around."

"Oh…okay." She looked sadly out the window again.

* * *

At NCIS headquarters, the elevator dinged. Ziva could hear Tony talking to someone. "The man didn't even know how to unplug in his television! He was as bad as Gibbs. Oof!" Tony cringed as he felt a hard slap to the back of his head.

"I'll unplug you, DiNozzo." Gibbs retorted. Ziva giggled a bit.

"Hi there." Stan Burley came out from behind his desk, "Stan Burley. And who might you be? Besides stunning?"

Tony glared at him, Ziva fawned over Burley a bit before Tony interrupted, "She's my girlfriend. Back off."

Burley held his hands up defensively, "Sorry, I didn't know."

Ziva smiled and held out her hand for Burley to shake, "It is alright. My name is Ziva, nice to meet you."

She shook Burley's hand with vigor. "Whoa, that's quite the handshake you got there."

"Thank you, my father taught me well." She smiled and winked at Gibbs.

Standing back, slightly shocked, "You're—Gibbs is your dad?" Burley asked, incredulous.

Ziva put her arm around Gibbs' waist, "Adopted, but yeah, he is the best father I could ever ask for."

Gibbs blushed a bit, "Aww, Ziver. You're too much." He said kissing her head. "Alright, grab yer gear! Got a dead Marine in Rock Creek Park."

"See you later, baby." Tony said before kissing her quickly on the lips.

* * *

Ziva sat at Gibbs' desk, doodling on some paper when Jenny finally came to get her.

"Hiya, honey." Jenny grinned and hugged Ziva tight. "Hi Jenny, thanks for watching me."

"Hey, you know I'd do anything for my favorite girl." She smiled wide as she led Ziva to the elevator.

After a short ride, the elevator doors opened, Ziva could hear music playing faintly.

Jenny swiped her keycard to open the door to the lab.

As the door whooshed open, there was music blaring and a twenty-something girl in platform boots dancing and typing vigorously on the computer.

"Miss Sciuto!" Jenny yelled. "Miss Scuito!" She yelled again, with no response from the pigtailed scientist. Jenny let out an annoyed sigh. "ABBY!"

Abby spun around, her red plaid miniskirt twirling as she did. "Director! I—" She turned down her music. "I didn't hear you come in, I'm sorry. I was working on this cool new program that'll help test DNA by logging into the computer and—Oh, a visitor! Hi, I'm Abby, welcome to my lab! I'm the forensic scientist here. Wanna see my mass spectrometer? I call him Major Mass Spec. He's awesome. Don't touch him though; he's kind of sensitive, like me. What's your name?"

"I'm Ziva." She said, suppressing a chuckle. Holding out her hand for her to shake it, she admired the spiky bracelets that adorned each wrist. "I like your shirt."

"Thanks! Do you listen to Pantera?" Ziva nodded. "Oh my gosh, you are so cool!" The tall Goth hugged her.

After a few moments, Ziva spoke up, "Um, I kinda need to breathe."

Abby let her go, "Sorry, anyway, what brings you to NCIS?"

Jenny interrupted, "I'm just showing her around while Jeth—er, Agent Gibbs is in the field."

"Oh, you know Gibbs? Are you like his niece or something? I didn't think he had siblings, I mean I don't know him that well yet, I've only been working here for about 6 months and usually Burley or McGee come down to give me info but that one guy Tony came down one time and I got all flustered cause he's really—"

"Abby!" Jenny almost shouted. Jenny looked at Ziva, encouraging her to speak. "Um, I am Gibbs' daughter—uh, adopted daughter."

"I'm adopted, too! That is so cool." She hugged her again.

"You enjoy hugging, do you not?" Ziva said, her voice muffled by Abby's shirt.

Abby put her at arms length, and smiled. "You're really cute, y'know? Maybe I could set you up with some?"

Ziva blushed slightly, "Oh, I am dating Tony, actually. For about three years now."

"Wow! Three years? When is that man gonna get you a ring?!" Abby giggled.

Jenny sensed Ziva's un-comfortableness. "Miss Sciuto, I'm going to take Ziva to meet Dr. Mallard, you two can chat later."

"Oh, okay, um, it was real nice meeting you! See ya later!" She waved as Jenny and Ziva exited.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for sticking with me. In the next chapter, Ziva is going to meet the one and only Ducky, Tony gets hurt at the crime scene, and Rachel shows up at Gibbs' house again. Stay Tuned!**


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53

 **A/N: Wow! Thank you SO much for the reviews! You guys rock!**

 **A/N 2: Sexual situations are present in this chapter, nothing super explicit, though.**

* * *

As the doors to Autopsy opened, Ziva heard a Scottish (or maybe British?) man talking to himself, or so she thought.

"Yes, my mother loved to dress me up as a sailor when I was a young lad, in fact, she tried to have me sent to school on a ship!"

He turned around to see Jenny and Ziva standing in the doorway. "Oh! I am so sorry director. I was just chatting with Private Troy here. Well, Hello there, young lady. You must be the infamous Ziva." Removing his gloves, he extended his hand. "I'm Dr. Mallard, but you may call me Ducky."

She shook his hand, smiling slightly. "Pleased to meet you. I am guessing that my fa—uh Gibbs told you about me?"

Ducky adjusted his glasses, "Oh yes, he speaks of you often. He seems to be very fond of you." Ducky chuckled.

Ziva smiled. "I am very fond of him. He is a great Papa."

"And a great leader." Ducky smirked. "I apologize for cutting this visit short, but Private Troy awaits me."

Jenny put her arm around Ziva, "Come on, we'll go get a snack."

"Was he talking to the dead man?" Ziva asked Jenny as they walked into the elevator.

* * *

At the crime scene, Tony was following the muddy footsteps leading to the creek where the victim was found. "Easy…easy…" He told himself as he slid down the bank. "Whoa!" He yelled as he tumbled face first into the shallow water. "Oww! Boss, I think I broke something."

Gibbs heard Tony yell his name and he found him face down in the muddy water. "DiNozzo! What're you doin' down there?!"

"I decided to go for a swim! What do you think?! I slipped!" Tony winced as he tried to get up. "Can't move my arm, Boss."

Gibbs groaned as he called for a bus.

* * *

At the hospital, Tony's arm was wrapped in a blue cast with a black sling. "Told ya I broke it."

Gibbs looked at him, annoyed. "You're gonna be out of commission for at least 2 weeks and even then you're gonna be on desk duty. What am I gonna do with you, DiNozzo?"

Tony shrugged then winced, "Ow. Still sore."

Gibbs walked away, shaking his head. "Come on, DiNozzo, gotta get back."

* * *

Jenny and Ziva were sitting at Tony's desk laughing "Come on! You almost got it! Go! Ooh! Right there!"

Standing back, they could see that Ziva was playing a game on Tony's computer. Gibbs smacked him on the back of the head. "I didn't even say anything, Boss!"

"That was for having that game on your computer, DiNozzo." Gibbs smirked as he placed his coffee on the desk.

Jenny laughed as she high fived Ziva. "Welcome back Agent Gibbs. Don't worry, she behaved herself."

Ziva sat at the desk, still playing the game, "Agent DiNozzo, what happened?"

Ziva paused the game, she gasped, "Tony! What happened?! Oh my poor baby!" She walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Does it hurt badly?"

Tony nodded, a smirk formed on his lips, as he looked her in the eyes, "It's better now that you're here." He kissed her again with a little tongue, forgetting where he was.

Gibbs slammed his fist on the desk "DiNozzo!"

Ziva stepped away, "Sorry, Papa." She blushed.

"Hey, HE should know better. I'm beginning to regret our deal, DiNozzo."

Ziva looked at Tony, confused, "Deal? What deal?"

"Well since I broke my arm, I can't really do everything like drive and cook or get dressed or…shower…" Ziva giggled as Gibbs growled. "So Gibbs said that you could stay with me for a bit, if that's okay with you?" Ziva nodded happily.

Gibbs glared at them, "What about the other part of the deal, DiNozzo?"

Tony scratched the back of his head with his good arm, "We have to go to Gibbs for dinner every Friday night."

"Oh, well that does not sound so bad. I thought it was going to be something torturous." Ziva laughed.

Tony muttered, "It will be for one of us."

"What was that, DiNozzo?" Gibbs growled out.

"Nothing, Boss!" Tony smiled.

* * *

After bringing Ziva's things to Tony's place, Gibbs went back home.

He could make out a figure sitting on the porch. "Rachel…Hey. What're you doin' here?"

"I just happened to be in the neighborhood and wanted to see if you wanted to get some dinner and then maybe…come back for…dessert?" She raised her eyebrow and pouted her lip.

Gibbs looked at her, a tad shocked; his mouth slightly agape, "You read my mind."

"Close your mouth, Marine, you'll let flies in." She smiled as she moved closer to him.

"Oh, there's only one thing I want anywhere near my mouth right now." He leaned in and kissed her slowly.

"Y'know, my momma always said, 'Life is short, eat dessert first.'" She smiled as she grabbed his tie.

"I like that philosophy." He said as he leaned her against the door, kissing her feverishly, she wrapped her legs around him as he opened the door.

* * *

Ziva and Tony sat on the couch, eating pizza. Tony figured he could eat it with one hand.

Ziva was still on her first slice and was just picking at it. "Not hungry, babe?" Tony asked. "I ate a big lunch with Jenny earlier." She lied.

"Oh. Okay." He groaned as he finished his pizza. "Ugh, I need a shower."

Ziva giggled, "I was going to say something but I did not want to…what is it? Add insult to injury."

"You're lucky I can't grab you right now because I would throw you down on the bed and tickle you till you couldn't breathe." He said as he got up slowly, heading towards the bathroom.

"Let me clean up then I'll be right in to help you." She winked as she walked past him to the kitchen.

Grinning, Tony went into the bedroom.

* * *

Back at Gibbs' house, he and Rachel were cuddling after some vigorous lovemaking.

Gibbs grinned as he sighed, his arm wrapped around her. "You still hungry for dinner?" He asked as he kissed her shoulder.

"Not really. But I could go for another round of dessert." She smiled as she rolled over to kiss him.

His cellphone rang. "Ignore it." Rachel whispered into his chest as she kissed his skin, moving lower.

It rang again as she disappeared under the blanket. "Mmm…this is my kind of dessert." Her voice muffled under the blanket as she took his member into her mouth.

"Shit, Rachel…Oh God." His eyes almost rolled back in his head. He was thankful his phone stopped ringing.

"Don't stop. Oh God, yes." He was about to bring his hand down to her head when his phone rang again.

"Damn it, I gotta get that. Keep…keep going." He picked up his phone without looking at it. "Yeah, Gibbs." It was McGee, asking him if he could give him a ride to work tomorrow.

"Can't Tony drive you?" He listened to the Probationary Agent remind him that Tony was incapacitated. "I know that McGee…" McGee asked him what he should do.

"Shit!" he tried to control the volume of his satisfaction while Rachel worked him with her mouth. "Get—get Ziva to pick you up. C—Call her! Mmm...Mm-hmm." He bit his tongue, holding back his moans as Rachel serviced him. "Oh God, Just—call Tony. I'm kinda busy right NOW!" His last word was yelled as he reached his peak, just before hanging up.

Gibbs breathed heavily as Rachel appeared from under the covers, giggling. "Damn, that was…wow. Good thing I'm his boss, otherwise I'd have some explaining to do."

Rachel laughed heartily before kissing him and snuggling into his chest, his heart still beating fast. "You are really something, Jethro."

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for hanging in there, guys. More to come very soon!**


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

 **A/N: Thank you all sooooo much for your reviews and quick responses!**

* * *

July 19th 2002

* * *

Tony and Ziva had been living together for a little over a month, and as per the deal with Gibbs, they were at his home for a Friday night dinner.

Gibbs and Rachel were still seeing each other occasionally, but they were mostly friends with benefits. This was a mutual agreement as they'd both been married before and weren't seeking a relationship.

"So, Ziver, what's new?" Gibbs said as he took a bite of mashed potatoes.

"Actually…I um…I wanted to tell you something but…you should probably swallow first." She said, meekly. She waited until Gibbs finished his mouthful of food. "I'm um… I am pregnant."

Gibbs looked at her in shock, his mouth agape. He couldn't even speak. He didn't know if he was happy, pissed, excited, or upset. After a moment, he said, "Are you sure?"

Tony interjected, "Yeah, she's about six or seven weeks along right now, we wanted to keep it a secret for a bit, y'know until everything was steady and I was back to work." He smiled.

"And?" Gibbs said, incredulous. "You gonna ask for her hand in marriage, DiNozzo?"

Tony blushed, "I'm saving up for the perfect ring. She deserves nothing but the best." He said as he kissed Ziva on the lips.

"Well…congrats Ziva. I'm really happy for ya. When's your appointment with the OBGYN?" Gibbs said, feeling mixed. He felt like he was losing a daughter but gaining a grandchild.

"It's next week, actually. Usually they wait until 10 weeks but because of my…trauma, they want to monitor me." Ziva said has Tony held her hand in his.

"Would you uh…mind if I came with ya?" Gibbs asked hesitantly.

Ziva got out of her chair and kissed Gibbs on the head. "Of course, Papa." She squeezed him tight.

* * *

August 18th 2002

* * *

Ziva's OBGYN was monitoring her; she said the baby seemed to be doing well. At about 2 and ½ months pregnant, Ziva barely noticed she _was_ pregnant. She didn't have much morning sickness or strange cravings.

It was 2:30 am; Ziva got up to use the restroom. Tony didn't feel her get up, but he woke suddenly when he heard a loud thud from near the bathroom. "Hmm?" He rubbed his eyes and shook his head to wake himself up.

Getting out of bed to see what the noise was, his eyes were closed as he turned on the lamp, the bright light too harsh on his sleepy pupils. Trudging his way across the bedroom, squinting, he rounded the bed to see his fiancée on the floor. "Ziva!"

He raced over to her and felt for a pulse. He let out a small exhale as he felt a faint thumping. Picking up the phone on the night table, he called 9-1-1. "Yes, this is S-special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, my um, fiancée is pregnant and I just found her passed out, she's alive but just…no she's not bleeding I don't think. I—I can't tell! Please, just send someone. Quickly!"

As they rode in the ambulance, Tony called Gibbs. Gibbs almost slammed into several nurses and patients running into the ER.

He spotted Tony, whose head was in his hands, his hair disheveled. "Tony, what happened?" It was clear the young agent had been crying.

Tony could barely speak, "She—she passed out and she was—wasn't moving I thought I…" He took a shaky breath. "She was bleeding, she was passed out and bleeding and I couldn't do ANYTHING to help her! I just kept telling her I loved her but I couldn't—I…She's still not awake and she doesn't know…" He squeezed his eyes shut tight and bit his lip, "I don't know how to tell her she—I mean she..." A tear rolled down his cheek. "L—lost the baby. I just…what am I—what are WE gonna do, Gibbs?"

He looked at his boss with tears streaming down his face. Gibbs held back tears as he watched his future son-in-law break down in front of him. "We're gonna be there for Ziva, Tony." He pulled him into an embrace. "We're gonna get through this."

* * *

September 4th 2002

* * *

It had been over 2 weeks since Ziva had suffered a miscarriage.

She spent most of her days sleeping and wasn't eating. Tony had to force her to at least drink a smoothie. She had to have someone in the apartment with her at all times to make sure she was, at least, alive.

Jenny gave Tony time off so he could take care of Ziva. After 2 weeks, though, he had to go back to work.

Ziva was angry; she didn't understand why Tony had to leave her. Tony was getting irritated with her, as much as he tried not to, he would get into a shouting match with her. "Well in order to keep this apartment, I kinda have to work Ziva!"

"You have plenty of paid time off accrued! You just can't stand to be around me anymore!" She yelled.

He exploded at her, "I am so TIRED of hearing you say that! It's not true! You know that! We need money Ziva! How else am I going to support our family?!"

" **WHAT** family?" She whispered harshly, tears streaming down her face, her cheeks red with anger.

Tony held her close as she sobbed into his chest. "Shh…it's okay." He whispered, stroking her hair. "We're gonna be okay, Zi."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you in advance for the reviews! And thank you so much for your help everyone! You rock!**


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

 **A/N: T/W: This chapter contains content dealing with suicide, please do not read if this will upset or trigger you.**

 **A/N 2: We left off on September 4** **th** **2002\. Hebrew translations are in parentheses.**

* * *

September 15th 2002

* * *

"Ziver? You gotta get up, honey, it's 3pm." Gibbs said as he sat on the bed, his hand on her bony shoulder.

He had been watching her while Tony was away at a conference for 3 days in New York. He wanted to take her with him, but he didn't trust her alone in a hotel room.

When Gibbs or Tony weren't available, she'd have to be watched by Larry. Unfortunately, Larry was away on a business in Japan for the next 3 months so Gibbs had to use up some vacation days.

"Why? There is no reason for me to get out of bed." She mumbled into her pillow.

"Well Tony is coming to pick you up in about 2 hours. Besides, you have to eat something, please. When was the last time you ate something that wasn't one of those smoothie things?" He asked, concerned.

She shrugged. "I am not hungry." Sitting up slowly, she felt dizzy. "I am going to take a bath."

Gibbs smiled inwardly, thankful that she was at least getting out of bed. "Okay, I'll be in the basement. Holler if you need anything."

* * *

Ziva drew a bath while Gibbs worked in the basement. After about 10 minutes, he realized one of his tools was missing. "Damn it, I know I just had it yest—" He swore as he ran up the stairs as quickly as possible.

Pounding on the bathroom door, he hoped to hear some sort of reaction from Ziva. "Ziva? ZIVA?! Answer me NOW!" He took a deep breath as he broke down the door.

His heart almost stopped at when he saw. The bath water was tinted red; he grabbed a towel and lifted her out of the bath. She was so light, even soaking wet. Laying her on the floor, he checked for a pulse, it was faint, but it was there. Grabbing more towels, he put pressure on her wounds. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the glint of a knife on the floor. "Damn it, Ziva."

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed 911. "My daughter slit her wrists, she's got a faint heartbeat but she—she's bleeding a lot and I—yes I'm putting pressure on the wounds. Please just—please get here quickly!"

"Please, sweetie, don't do this to me, please Ziver." His hands shook as he held the towels against her.

* * *

On the way to the ER, the silver haired former Marine called his young protégé. Tony was still about 3 hours away and was getting there as quickly as possible.

At the hospital, a brunette doctor exited the ER, a mask over her face. "Mr. Gibbs?"

Gibbs stood up quickly, the doctor extended her hand, "My name is Dr. Prentiss; I helped work on Ziva."

"How—how is she?" His eyes were almost as red as the bloodstains on his t-shirt.

"She got lucky, you saved her life. Ziva needed quite a number of stitches; she lost a lot of blood. Her heart stopped briefly but we were able to get her back." Dr. Prentiss sat next to Gibbs; she could see the pain in his eyes.

"She's in a medically induced coma right now. She had to be put on a ventilator and a lot of pain meds. I know she's been here before and is a patient of…" The doctor looked at the chart. "Dr. Winter. I've already called her to come meet with you. I also need to ask you, Mr. Gibbs, have you ever considered eating disorder treatment for her?"

Gibbs sighed, "She's been in treatment before and she was getting better…until she suffered a miscarriage last month. She—she's barely been eating, she does nothing but sleep. Doc, look, I need to know, is it ever gonna get better?"

"Psychological issues take a long time to balance out. With the help of medication and therapy, she could be happy. Is she in a relationship?" Dr. Prentiss asked as she clicked her pen.

"Yes, she has a fiancée, Tony. He's on his way here from New York. Poor kid, he's probably so stressed." He said as he looked at his phone.

* * *

"Excuse me! I'm looking for my fiancée, Ziva David. She—" He spotted Gibbs in the distance, "Gibbs, Thank God. What's going on? Where is she?" He shook the doctors hand, "Hi, Tony, I'm—uh—Ziva's fiancée, she—is she okay—is she gonna be okay? Please tell me she's okay."

Gibbs held back a headslap, "DiNozzo! You're going all Abby on her."

"Sorry, I'm just—why aren't you saying anything, doc?" He was almost hyperventilating.

"She is resting now; Ziva is doing okay right now. However, I was just telling her father that she had lost a lot of blood and her heart stopped at one point but we were able to get it going again. If you don't mind, I'd like to have you both speak to Dr. Winter when she comes down." Tony nodded his head as he listened to the doctor.

"Wh—when can I see her?" Tony asked, his voice shaky. The doctor smiled, she could tell he loved her. "Like I stated previously she is resting so she will not be awake. You can go see her, she's in room 3." Tony rushed off to Ziva's room.

"Dr. Winter should be down in a few minutes, let the nurses know if you need anything. Best of luck to you, Mr. Gibbs." She shook his hand again and walked away.

* * *

Tony sat in a chair next to Ziva's bed. He stroked her hair as he watched her chest rise and fall with help of the vent.

"Zi, I know you probably can't hear me but…I love you so much, my beautiful _neshama_ (darling). You are the light of my life, my reason for living. I can't wait to marry you, to let the world see how much I love you, to show YOU how much I love you. _Ani ohev otach, ma'lachit sheli_ (I love you, my angel.)." His voice broke as he spoke, tears streaming down his face. An audible sob escaped his throat. He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.

"She's really lucky to have you, DiNozzo. I'm…proud of you for helping her through this, for staying with her." Gibbs said, quietly from the doorway. "She's gonna get through this, just like everything else. She's gonna get help. We just gotta get her to wake up first."

"She will wake up. I know she will. She is a _lochemet_ , a warrior." Tony smiled as he stroked her hair.

"That she is, Tony." Gibbs smiled as he sat with his future son-in-law, watching the sunset out the window.

* * *

 **A/N 3: Next chapter might be up in a week, gonna be a busy next week! Thank you in advance for your reviews! Love you guys!**


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

 **A/N: HUGE thanks to Debbie, my most loyal reviewer and the 100** **th** **review on this story!**

* * *

Before Dr. Winter could speak to him, Tony had fallen asleep in the chair next to Ziva's hospital bed, Gibbs covered him with a blanket and left to go home. After showering and changing, he went to sleep.

Tossing and turning all night, the Marine awoke at 0700 to the smell of coffee. Rubbing his eyes, he heard someone say "Morning, sleepyhead."

Gibbs yawned, "What're you doin' here, Rach?" He smiled sleepily at the redhead standing in the doorway.

She walked over to her beau, who was sitting up in bed. "Tony called me. And I'm glad he did, because you have such cute bed-head today." She put his coffee down on the bedside table and kissed him.

As she pulled away, he grabbed her and pulled her down on the bed. "Ahh! Jethro!" She giggled.

Rolling over on top of her, he kissed her passionately. "God I missed you." He whispered as he moved his hand under her blouse to cup her breast.

"Jethro, wait. As much as I'd love for you to ravish me right now, we need to get to the hospital." She looked at him with concern.

Rolling off of her, he ran his hand through his messy hair. "God, I was hoping that was a nightmare. Sorry, Rachel…it's been a rough couple of days."

Getting up, she grabbed him a t-shirt and pants. "Get dressed, I'll be downstairs." She smiled slightly as she tossed him his clothes.

* * *

After Rachel went to her office on the 5th floor, Gibbs went down to the 3rd floor.

Tony was reading a book to Ziva, "Over the years, the promises of the fairies came true - one by one. The Princess grew to be beautiful, modest, kind and clever. Everyone who saw her could not help but love her." {Sleeping Beauty}

He wiped a tear from his face. "I love you, my sleeping beauty." He took her hand in his and kissed it.

"That was Kelly's favorite as a kid. I must've read her that story a 100 times in a month." Gibbs said quietly from the doorway.

Tony smiled as he stroked his fiancée's hair. "I figured it was appropriate."

They both chuckled. "Hey we uh, gotta go meet with Dr. Winter. She came by last night but you were asleep."

Tony got up from his chair. "Sorry, Boss. Guess I was tired." He fixed his ruffled hair as he walked out of the room.

* * *

In Dr. Winter's office, she once again, read through Ziva's file, "I was worried about something like this happening." She sighed.

"Whaddaya mean doc? Hasn't she been seeing you for a while?" Gibbs asked, almost angrily.

"Please, call me Amanda. Ziva hasn't shown up for an appointment in over a month. Last time she was here was…" The doctor looks at her chart, "August 15th. She had just seen her Obstetrician and was really excited about having a child."

She flips through the pages, "I don't have any other updates after that." Closing the folder, she looked to Tony. "Tony…I am so sorry for your loss. I wish Ziva had come to me after her—your—loss."

Tony teared up a bit, "What if we really lose her this time? What if she doesn't wake up?"

"Tony you can't think like that, you need to **believe** she can get through this." Amanda looked at the watery-eyed man with compassion.

Tony rubbed his tired wet eyes. "Doc-Amanda…I can't live without her. I can't. I know that sounds ridiculous or something but…she is my world. I would do anything for her, ANYTHING, to make her happy, to make her whole again. If—WHEN she wakes up, what can we do to help her?"

"We'll get to that when we get to it. Right now you need to process this situation and we need to get over this hurdle first." She looks at her watch. "I have a patient at 11. I'll check in later with you."

Gibbs mouthed 'thanks' as Amanda left the room.

* * *

Tony went home to change as Gibbs stayed at Ziva's bedside.

"Okay little one, I **know** you can get through this. You are so _strong_ and so beautiful." He inhaled shakily. "Ziver, I know I don't usually like to show emotion but…" He sniffled and wiped his eyes. "God, I hate this!"

Sobbing quietly, his body shook. "I feel like—like it was my fault. I felt so helpless, so powerless." His voice went up an octave as he allowed himself to cry. "I thought I was watching you die in my arms."

He stroked her hair with one hand and held on to her bed frame with the other.

He felt something brush his fingertips. "Ziva?" He gasped as he looked down at his frail daughter, her eyes half open. "Ziva, oh my—uh—NURSE! She's awake!"

Two nurses rushed in to check Ziva's vitals as Gibbs dialed Tony's number. "She's awake." He said, smiling as he wiped his eyes once more.

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter will be in probably a week, just need to plan it. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I really cried this time writing Gibbs here.**


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

 **A/N: T/W: Suicidal thoughts and depression.**

* * *

As briefly as Ziva had awoken, she was out like a light again. The pain meds they were giving her knocked her out for a few more hours, thankfully the nurses de-intubated her before she fell asleep.

Tony and Gibbs sat in the hospital room, looking at pictures of young Ziva with her cousin Abraham. Tony pointed to something in the photo. "Y'know, she still has that stuffed bear."

"I know. I gave it to her. It was Kelly's-my first daughter." Gibbs smiled as he studied the photo.

"Last couple of months she's been sleeping with it…says it makes her feel safe." Tony teared up a bit. "I guess I'm uh…not enough."

Gibbs sighed as he put the photo back in the envelope. "DiNozzo…you are more than enough for her. I met Ziver when she was eleven years old. Her mother sent her to live with her cousin, my roommate back on base. I remember thinking, 'How could anyone not love this sweet little girl?''" He teared up a bit as Tony wiped his own eyes.

"I gotta tell ya, Gibbs…about two weeks after she had the…" He sighed before continuing. "...Miscarriage, I had to go back to work. She was angry with me for leaving her. And I just…I snapped. I yelled at her. I don't know what I was thinking. I just felt so terrible. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her."

"You're right, you don't deserve her." Tony frowned. "But she loves you and you make her happier than I have ever seen. She once told me that…and this is a little uncomfortable for me to say…when she is with you- she feels like she's floating, she feels like…anything is possible. When she's with you…she's whole."

Tony blushed at Gibbs' sentiments. "She is so much more amazing than she'd ever believe. I feel like…'love' is not the right word to describe how I feel about her. She is my _joie de vivre-_ the joy of my life. She **is** my life."

"The first night I met Ziva, she was bruised, she'd been violated, she was living in a new country; she was scared. One night, I was watching her sleep; and in the moonlight, all I could see was black, blue and gold. The shiner she had from when she was in Israel and the necklace her mother had given her. I have watched her grow up; I've seen her fall in love-with you-, I can not **wait** until I get to walk her down the aisle." He sniffled and wiped his eyes.

* * *

Ziva groaned, "Papa?" Gibbs jumped out of his seat and took her hand in his.

Gibbs smiled widely, "I'm right here, little one."

"Papa." She sobbed. "Why didn't you let me die?"

"Ziver don't—" She cut him off. "No!" She yelled. "Why didn't you let me die?! You could finally have a normal life where you're not worried about me! I deserved to die! I could finally be at peace in heaven with my baby. Now there's no one with her! Who is going to take care of her?!"

Exhausted and frustrated, Gibbs shouted. "She's GONE Ziva! You are still here; you are still ALIVE. **YOU** can make a difference. YOU can get better. Think of everything you've been through; and you are STILL HERE. There's a reason for that."

She shook, shocked at her fathers' outburst. "Is Tony here?" She said quietly as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Yeah Zi? I'm here, it's gonna be okay."

She shook her head, "No it's not…" She sniffled. "I need help, Tony." She sobbed.

"We're gonna get you help." He whispered as tears streamed down his face.

Gibbs sat back as he watched the devastating scene.

"I thought…I wanted to die. But…I just need to learn how to live." She said through wet eyes.

"I love you so much, Ziva. I am going to do everything I can to help you. I promise." Tony held back a sob.

"I love you, Tony." She pulled him down to kiss her.

* * *

 **A/N: Just a little fluff for you guys. Please leave feedback? Thanks again! Happy weekend!**


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

 **A/N: We left off on September 15** **th** **2002\. T/W: Eating disordered behaviors mentioned.**

 **A/N 2: This is dedicated to my friend Polly Ann Williams, who passed away 02/08/08.**

* * *

November 12th, 2002

* * *

It was Ziva's 18th birthday. She had been in inpatient treatment for almost two months. Staring at the cupcake in front of her, she shook. Tears streamed down her face as she shook her leg rapidly to burn as many calories as possible.

Jessie, a therapist, put her hand on Ziva's shoulder. "Ziva, you know that's not allowed."

Ziva reluctantly stopped shaking. "I can't do it. Please don't make me eat it. Please." Her voice was quiet and scared.

* * *

 _Flashback to October 1_ _st_ _, 2002_

* * *

In her first three weeks in treatment, she had been very gung-ho and ready to get better. Tony would visit her once a week, as that was what had been allowed.

When she first arrived, she met her roommate, Annika. They got along instantly. Annika was a beautiful blonde 16 year old; she suffered from bulimia, over-exercising and self-harm. Her legs were covered in scars and cuts.

Despite her issues, she was actually a very happy and social girl. She and Ziva always got in trouble for laughing too loud or screaming when they scared each other by hiding in the closet.

Annika was from Poland and felt it was nice to have a friend that was also not American.

One day, Annika was lucky enough to get a 2-day pass to go home over the weekend.

Ziva felt lonely, but was happy when Annika came back. She noticed that no one else seemed to be speaking to her, which she thought was odd, but just kept on chatting and playing with her friend.

* * *

 _October 10_ _th_ _, 2002_

* * *

One night, Ziva was in her room laughing and talking. There was a knock on the door. The night nurse, a sweet Jamaican woman named Penelope, opened the door. "Miss Ziva, you know it is lights out. What are you laughing about anyway? You are not allowed a phone here."

Ziva looked at her, confused. "What do you mean? I am not on the phone, I'm talking to Annika."

Penelope shook her head, sadly. "Sweetie." She sat down on Ziva's bed, putting her hand on her leg. "You know she is not there."

Ziva's face scrunched with more confusion. "What are you talking about? She is right there."

"No, baby, Annika passed away, remember? She died in a car accident last week." Penelope almost teared up as she had to tell the young girl again what happened.

"No, no, that's not true. She is sitting right there on the bed." Ziva said, incredulous. She pointed to the other bed, decorated with purple pillows and a pink comforter; motivational posters hung on the wall.

Penelope got up and walked over to the bed, sitting on it. "See, sweetie? If she were here I would be sitting on her."

Ziva watched as Annika's face and body morphed into that of Penelope's. The walls were gray and bare. The white hospital sheets covered the mattress.

Her face fell as she realized what had really happened. "No. No! NO! She is alive! She is okay! No!" She cried, Penelope caught her as she collapsed to the floor. "Please no. It cannot be true!" Ziva screamed, she couldn't even come up with words; it was like her heart was bleeding.

* * *

Present day (November 12th, 2002)

* * *

"Ziva, you have to eat this, you know that. Do I need to call Dr. Winter?" Jessie said, almost threateningly.

"I got this, Jessie." Tony said as he knelt back to his emaciated fiancée. "Come on, Zi. Just three bites. For me?" He gave her his million-watt smile.

She shook her head adamantly, sniffling. "No." Her lip trembled as she cried.

"Please? Please Ziva. I know you can do this." Tony pleaded with her, tears in his eyes. He looked to Gibbs, who came over and took his place.

"Hey Ziver." Gibbs smiled at her. She looked at him, tears still flowing freely. "She's gone, Papa."

He cupped her cheek and wiped away her tears. "I know Ziver. Now come on, she wanted you to get better. Do it for Annika."

Ziva shakily took the fork in her hand. Slicing a third of the miniature cupcake, she cut it and swallowed. When she finished the whole thing, Gibbs was crying, as was Tony.

"Come here, my girl." Gibbs said as he embraced her, holding her tight as she sobbed into his shirt. "Shh…it's okay little one. You did good." He stroked her hair and kissed her head.

* * *

 **A/N 3: Okay so that was a fluffy sad chapter, but I felt the need to post something. Let me know what you guys thought. Until next chapter! - NCISSVUGirl09.**


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter **59**

 **A/N: Be sure to read the last chapter if you missed it! Thank you again for the reviews! This is a short chapter.**

* * *

November 18th, 2002

* * *

It had been almost a week since Ziva's birthday. She had been completing (finishing) 75% of her meals.

In therapy, she seemed to be doing well, but Dr. Winter could tell something was going on.

One night, Ziva was caught in her room doing sit ups. She had to be on 24 hour watch for 3 days and even then she had to have hourly check ins.

Thankfully on Saturday, Gibbs visited. Ziva sat in a chair reading. "Hey Ziver." Gibbs said before kissing her on the head.

"Hi Papa." She replied, not looking up from her book.

"Whatcha readin'?" He sighed as he sat down in a chair across from her.

"Sleeping Beauty, Tony gave it to me." She smiled as she put a bookmark between the pages and closed it.

"Yeah, he was reading you that in the hospital. Sorry he couldn't come today. Got a lot of work to do." He said, sadly.

Ziva climbed in his lap, her arms around his neck. He could feel how light she was, it reminded him of when he first met her; how she almost floated when he held her. Now, 7 years later, she was still his little girl.

His large hands held her bony fingers, stroking the knuckles softly. "Papa?"

He looked at his daughter, looking up at him. "Hmm?"

"What if I never get better? What if I can't do it this time? What if…" She sniffled a bit as a tear rolled down her cheek. "What if I'm not strong enough?"

He held her closer, "Hey, don't you ever think that. You know how strong you are? You have been through things that I could never have made it through. Tony likes to call you his _lochemet_."

She smiled as she thought of her fiancée. "I do not deserve him."

Gibbs chuckled, "No, Ziver, he doesn't deserve YOU. You are my perfect, sweet, smart, beautiful little angel."

Ziva blushed, "Papa, you're so silly!" She kissed him on the cheek as she got off his lap.

"Hey, I only speak the truth, Ziva." He stood up and hugged her. "I gotta get back to work but I'll see you next week and I'll call you tonight, okay?" He said, kissing her on the head. "I love you, little one."

"I love you too, Papa. Say 'hi' to Tony for me." She smiled as he exited.

* * *

November 27th 2002

* * *

In group therapy, Ziva was telling a story of the time she and Gibbs were on base, "He actually let me drive the Humvee! It was definitely not safe, but it was so much fun. It was really the first time I really felt like a kid. I felt so free and safe at the same time. It reminded me of one of those…what do you call it? Roller copter?"

Jessie (the therapist), corrected her, "Rollercoaster?"

Ziva giggled, "Yeah. It—ow." She said as she took a sharp inhale.

Jessie looked at her with concern, "Ziva? You okay?"

She stood up slowly, "Yeah, I think it was just a cramp. I'm oka-." Her vision went black and she hit something, HARD.

"Ziva! We need a nurse in here!" Jessie said as she felt for a pulse. "No pulse! Get the AED!" She stood back as Nurse Penelope readied the paddles, shocking the frail girl.

* * *

Back at Gibbs' place, he and Tony were watching a basketball game on TV, "Oh, come on, ref! That was a shit call!" Tony yelled at the screen.

"Want another beer DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he got up. "Yeah, thanks Boss."

As he grabbed a beer from the fridge, his cell phone rang. "Yeah, Gibbs."

Tony heard the sound of glass shattering.

He ran into the kitchen, "Boss, what's—"

"It's Ziva."

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter should be up in a week or so, don't ya just hate cliffhangers?! Review, if you can! Thank you!**


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60

 **A/N: I never thought we'd make it this far, thank you all for your love, support, and reviews! Don't worry; this story is NOT over. Here we go! (Also, I am not a doctor but I watched House and ER like it's my job.)**

* * *

 **Previously on Black Blue and Gold:**

 _Jessie looked concerned, "Ziva? You okay?"_

 _Ziva stood up slowly, "Yeah, I think it was just a cramp. I'm oka-." The small girl fell, HARD._

" _We need a nurse in here!" Jessie said as she felt for a pulse. "No pulse! Get the AED!"_

 _Gibbs grabbed a beer from the fridge; his cell phone rang. "Yeah, Gibbs."_

 _Tony ran into the kitchen at the sound of glass shattering. "Boss, what's—"_

" _It's Ziva."_

* * *

Downstairs in the ER, Marissa **(the nurse, remember her?)** pushed Ziva on a gurney. "18- year-old female, heart stopped, she's a patient in the eating disorder unit upstairs. Nurse got her heart going with the AED but she's still unconscious and she's not breathing. We gotta get her on a vent."

* * *

Marissa sat at the nurses' station, typing information into Ziva's file when Gibbs came running in.

"Marissa, what happened? Tony's parking the car but they-they wouldn't tell me anything over the phone, I—what's going on? They just told me to come here and find you, and she—what—what is going on?!" Gibbs felt like he couldn't breathe.

Marissa had never seen him like this, freaked out. She always knew him as a calm person in these situations, even back on base when Ziva was in the hospital the first few times.

"Gibbs, I can't give you any information until you calm down." She pulled a chair over. "Sit. Please."

Gibbs ran a shaky hand through his hair, "You're not making me any less nervous, 'rissa. Please, just tell me, **what happened**?"

Marissa sighed and looked straight at him, trying not to tear up when she saw the pain on his face.

"Sorry, Boss. Parking was hell out there. Did I miss any info?" Tony said, out of breath.

"I was just about to update him now. I'm Marissa, one of the nurses." She shook his hand, not remembering if they'd met already, but it wasn't pertinent to the conversation.

"I'm Tony, Ziva's fiancée, so what the heck happened?" He said as he pulled up a chair.

Marissa took a deep breath, mentally readying herself for what she had to say. "Ziva collapsed. They…couldn't find a pulse, so they had to use a defibrillator. She's on a ventilator right now; she can't breathe on her own. I'm telling you this as a friend, Gibbs…. It doesn't look good."

Marissa paused to hold back a sob. "Her anorexia and bulimia have damaged her heart a great deal. She's incredibly emaciated. She's 5'4" and 76 pounds. She needs a pacemaker. Right now we're going to have to give her a PEG tube, which is different from her Nasogastric tube, in that, instead of the tube going through her nose, it will go directly into her stomach."

Gibbs was speechless. He felt like his own heart was going to stop; he couldn't form words.

"I thought she-." Tony took a shaky breath, "I thought she was doing better. She—she was eating and she got some of her color back. She seemed happy."

"Tony, it's nothing that you could have prevented, the damage has been done. We just have to concentrate on keeping her…" She wanted to say 'alive', but knew that wasn't protocol. "Keeping her well and getting her back to treatment."

Tony exhaled hard. He closed his eyes, "Just be straight with me. No bull. **Is she going to die?** "

Marissa sighed, "She is stable for right now."

Tony slammed his hand down on the arm of the chair, making Marissa jump. "No! That is not what I asked you. Let me put it into some simpler terms for you. Next year, hell, next WEEK, will I-."

He took a breath as his voice broke and tears rolled down his cheeks. "Will I be holding her in my arms? Or will I be **falling apart** at her grave?"

A tear fell from Marissa's eyes, she tried so hard to hold it back but she couldn't. "Here's the real answer, Tony. I. Don't. Know." She bit her lip, holding back more tears. "I know I'm not supposed to say that, I know that…as a nurse I am supposed to be able to figure out how things are going to turn out. But I don't. All we can do is wait and pray."

Gibbs got up from his chair.

Tony looked at him as he walked away. "Where you goin' boss?"

"To pray." He yelled down the corridor.

* * *

In a small private room, Gibbs sat alone. "I can't do this. Not again. I can't. I just…I don't understand. I lost Kelly, wasn't that enough?!" He tried to calm himself, but couldn't. The silver haired Marine shook. "You can't just bring me another beautiful little girl only to take her away. I just…I wanna walk her down the aisle. I wanna see her give me my first grandchild. But most of all I want her to live. Please. Just…give me a sign."

The door opened, "Oh, forgive me sir." An older woman holding a basket came in.

"It's okay." Gibbs smiled slightly.

"I'll just be a moment. I'm the light keeper." Taking out a light bulb from her basket, she screwed it into a lamp on the table. "There you are. Have a nice day, sir." **(A/N: this really happened to me when my grandmother was in the hospital. That's why it's such a weird story. Haha.)**

As soon as the door closed, Gibbs looked up and smiled. "Thank you." He whispered.

* * *

 **A/N: Coming in the next chapter, Ziva comes to terms with her disorder and the damage it has caused.**


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61

 **A/N: This chapter deals with descriptions of drug use.**

* * *

The next day, Ziva still hadn't awoken. Gibbs went home the previous night to shower and change, while Tony stayed with Ziva.

When he arrived at the hospital, Gibbs saw Tony outside talking to someone.

He couldn't hear what they were saying, but the man shook Tony's hand and Tony slipped him a $100 bill.

Spotting Gibbs, Tony yelled to his 'friend', "That's what I get for having Jones on my roster!" He laughed.

"Hey Gibbs, sorry, uh, friend of mine and I had a bet on last nights game. I lost, obviously. I was just headed up to see Ziva, I just needed some air."

The two men head up to see their Israeli warrior.

* * *

A familiar scene was unfolding before Gibbs as Tony sat at her bedside.

Gibbs stared from the doorway at Tony and his daughter; she was still on a ventilator and was unconscious.

Her skin was gray, her thick hair falling out in clumps; her face so sunken in, she looked much older than her 18 years.

Her fiancée held her slender, bony hand in his. "Zi…I really need you to get through this, baby. I was finally gonna give you a real ring this weekend. You were doing so well…I am still so proud of you, my little _lochemet_. I can't wait to make you my wife. I just need you to wake up." He inhaled shakily as he let out an audible sob.

"Please, Ziva. I can't live without you. I gotta go talk to one of the doctors, I'll be back later." He kissed her on the forehead and patted Gibbs' shoulder as he exited.

* * *

Tony walked down the hall to a bathroom and locked the door.

Taking off his belt and jacket, he sets a syringe, lighter, spoon, and a small packet filled with white powder on the sink.

Creating a tourniquet with his belt, he begins his ritual.

He's been shooting up when he can for the past month. Lately it's gotten worse. He's needed to do it more and more often.

He feels ashamed, but it makes him feel so much better, he feels free. He knows it's wrong, but it keeps him sane.

* * *

Tony comes back to Ziva's room; Gibbs is at her bedside, holding her hand. He looks exhausted.

"What'd the doc say, DiNozzo?" He asks without looking up.

"Huh?" Tony is confused, forgetting that he said he was going to talk to the doctor.

"The doc, you said you went to talk to him. What did he say?" Gibbs asked, almost angrily.

"Oh, uh I couldn't find him." He shrugged.

"You were gone for 20 minutes. Where were ya?" Gibbs sounds like he's interrogating him.

"Went to get coffee, Boss. Would've gotten you one but I know you're particular." The younger man scratched the back of his head.

"So where is it?" Gibbs was clearly angry now.

"I drank it; threw it out. Why are you interrogating me?!" Tony said, annoyed.

"Just worried about ya, DiNozzo. As long as you're okay." Gibbs looked back at Ziva.

"I'll be okay as long as **she's** okay. If—WHEN she wakes up…then I'll be okay." Tony smiles as he places his hand on his fiancée's.

Stroking her hand, he sees her finger twitch. "Ziva? I think she's awake, her—her finger just moved. Ziva?" He almost shouts.

Her eyes open slightly, he can barely see them through her eyelashes. "Ziva! Get a doctor in here!"

* * *

 **A/N: So, Ziva is finally awake, but she has a rough road ahead. I wanted to update so y'all knew I was alive. Haha. Have a great weekend! I'll update when I can.**


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62

 **A/N: Thank you guys so much for encouraging me to continue. I hope we can get through this journey together! (Also I know I have had a lot of trouble with correct tenses, so I apologize.) (Formerly NCISSVUGirl09)**

* * *

Ziva had been awake for all of 4 hours. The breathing tube had been removed; she was informed about her pacemaker.

Tony was crying almost the whole time. He was so happy to see her awake and alive.

"Tony, please stop crying. It is going to be okay." She wiped his cheeks with her thumbs.

"I'm sorry baby, I just love you so much. I'm so glad you're okay." He kissed her softly.

"Tony? You okay? You're sweating." She says, concerned, feeling his forehead. "Do you have a fever?"

"I think I'm just dehydrated. I'll go get some water." He says, kissing her softly on the lips. "Be back in a jiffy."

* * *

Tony hand shake as he locks the bathroom door.

His hand began to steady as he takes his lighter to heat his spoon.

After the drugs enter his system, he slumps against the wall.

* * *

Reappearing half an hour later, he found Gibbs outside of Ziva's room.

"DiNozzo, where the heck were ya?" Gibbs looks at him, annoyed.

"Sorry Boss, I got water, I sat down in a really comfortable chair and I guess I fell asleep. Is Ziva okay?" He looks at Gibbs with concern.

"She's fine, just needed to rest. Your eyes do look a little bloodshot." Gibbs sighs. "Go home, sleep, she'll be passed out for the night. I'll stay and call you if anything."

Tony fakes a yawn. "Thanks, Boss. Night."

* * *

Just outside the hospital, Tony bumps into his 'friend' Myles.

"Hey man, I got those tickets for you. You brought the money, right?" Myles says, almost threateningly.

Tony reaches into his pocket. "Shit, I only have half. But I get paid tonight and I'll be here tomorrow, can I get you then?"

"No, if you don't have it, then you can't get it." He crosses his arms.

Tony gets in his face, tears well in his eyes, "Please man, you gotta help me out here. I can't go without it."

Myles pushes him against the brick wall, he laughs. "Pathetic. Fine, if you don't have it tomorrow, I know where your girl is. Wouldn't want her to find out about our little deal here, would you?"

Tony shakes his head rapidly. "I—I'll have it tomorrow I swear. She can't find out, please."

Myles gets off him, "You're lucky you're my best customer. See you tomorrow."

* * *

Tony sits at home, staring at his paraphernalia.

He has a ¼ bottle of Oxy, unlabeled. He stole some pills when he was at a friend's house; now he **needs** them to sleep.

There is a box of needles under the bed he ordered offline. Making sure each one is clean and sterile.

The small bag of heroin lay on the table. He stares at it, praying it'll be enough.

He looks at the clock. It's 9:15pm. His foot taps nervously as he waits for the drugs to kick in.

* * *

He looks at the clock again; it's 6:45 am. There's a knock on the door.

"DiNozzo?" They knock again. "I know you're in there!"

Tony moans, "Yeah, uh, gimmie a sec, Boss." He grabs his stash and hides it at the bottom of the hamper.

Opening the door, he sees an exhausted Gibbs. "Sorry I was—."

"I don't care DiNozzo, just lemme in." He pushes past him and lays down on the couch.

"Boss, don't you wanna go home?" Tony asks as he grabs his coat to leave. "I can drive you."

Gibbs yawns, "Nah, I figure I'll just take a nap here then go back to see Ziver later."

Tony sweats a bit, "Oh uh, just…don't go in the bedroom. I uh, left a bunch of pizza boxes in there, I'm gonna take it out later."

"Whatever DiNozzo. Just get outta here already." Gibbs covers himself with a blanket as Tony runs out the door.

* * *

After stopping at the bank, he goes to the hospital, spotting Myles outside, smoking a cigarette.

"Hey, I brought what I owe you for those tickets. Thanks again man." He hands him the money.

"Price just went up. Benjamin's gonna be playing." Myles smirks.

"Seriously?" Tony digs into his pockets and hands him another $100.

"Pleasure doing business with ya." Myles winks as he turns to walk off.

"Wait! Uh…I was wondering about the 2002 lineup?" Tony whispers.

"The '02? I thought you had a few copies?" He asks.

"I uh…I did but I need more." Tony shakes as he prays Myles has it in his bag.

"How many copies you want?" He asks as he looks through his inventory.

"Um…10?" Tony looks into his wallet again, making sure he has enough.

"Y'know, I like you, you're a good friend. So for 10 copies of the '02 it'll be 3 Jacks."

Tony hands him $60 as Myles slips him 10 Oxy pills into his pocket. "Thanks, I'll see you next week?"

Myles pats Tony on the back and leaves.

Tony sighs sadly as he hides the pills in the inner pocket of his jacket and enters the hospital.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for hanging in, guys. There will be more when I think of it. Peace and love.**


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63

 **A/N: This chapter contains mentions of drug use and swearing.**

* * *

When Tony walked into Ziva's room, she was sleeping.

He looked at her, his fiancée, the woman he intended to marry, with tears in his eyes.

She looked so small, like skin stretched over bones. He was almost afraid to touch her.

Disappearing into the bathroom in her 'suite', he cried. The young agent thought back to the times he was able to hold her, able to cuddle with her; make love to her.

* * *

He felt like his life was spiraling out of control. The drugs were the only things he could control in his life. His job, Ziva, Gibbs breathing down his neck- none of this he could control, but being able to control his emotions with a reliable source, knowing they would always be there, made him feel free.

He rolled up his sleeve and injected himself. As his breathing slowed, tears rolled down his cheeks, wetting his shirt.

A knock at the door startled him, "Shit." He whispered. "Uh, coming! Sorry I uh—I couldn't make it down the hall." He yelled as he gathered his things and unlocked the door.

Gibbs looked at him angrily, "DiNozzo! What the heck were you doin' in there? There's a head just down the hall!"

"Sorry Boss, it was an emergency." He flashed him a trademark smile.

Gibbs shook his head, "Too much information, Tony."

"Sorry again I—Hey… look who's awake." Tony smiled as he walked over to a sleepy Ziva.

Her eyes barely opened, puffy from sleep. "Hey. When did you get here?" She asked, smiling.

"A few minutes ago, you were asleep." He kissed her and held her small hand. "How're you feeling, baby?"

She sighs, sadly, "I have been better, but…I'm okay now that you're here." She reached up and put her hand on his cheek. "Your face is wet, you okay?"

He smiles weakly as Gibbs looks at him with concern, as well. Tony looked back and forth between them, "I splashed water on my face; I'm just tired, baby. I'm fine." Taking her hand to his lips he kisses it.

Gibbs looks on, feeling hope for the future of his daughter and future son-in-law.

Ziva pulls Tony into a passionate kiss. Gibbs grimaces a bit, feeling uncomfortable. Clearing his throat, loudly, they stop.

A slight blush comes to Ziva's ashen skin, she giggles, "Sorry Papa."

Gibbs and Tony switch places as Gibbs kisses her on the head. "'S'okay Ziver. Just glad you're awake."

Ziva smiles as Tony searches his pockets for his spoon. "Hey I'll be right back, I think left my wallet in the bathroom."

"I found it, DiNozzo. I was gonna tell you but you and Ziva were…y'know." Gibbs clears his throat. "We're gonna go talk to the doctor, little one, we'll be right back."

Tony sweats nervously as they walk down the hall.

* * *

Gibbs grabs Tony by the collar and pulls him into an empty room, locking the door.

"Boss, what—." Gibbs slams him against the wall. He takes out the mangled piece of metal from his pocket, shoving it in his face.

"What the HELL were you thinking DiNozzo?!" Gibbs yelled as he threw the spoon against the wall.

"Gibbs that—that's not mine! I swear!" Tony tries to hide his terrified expression.

"Whose is it then?!" He asked, angrily pacing the room.

"Maybe it's Ziva's! She's got so many problems, what's one more?!" Gibbs fist collides with Tony's nose.

"Don't you FUCKING talk about her like that! I know this is yours, DiNozzo!" Gibbs stood with his fists clenched; as Tony lay on the floor, holding his bleeding nose.

The young agent opens his mouth to speak, Gibbs stops him, "You don't get to talk, DiNozzo. You're lucky I don't have my sig on me. You are NOT to come into Ziva's room until I say you can. Nod if you understand."

Tony nods his head as he looks at the blood on his hand.

Gibbs slams the door, leaving his daughters fiancée bruised in more ways than one.

* * *

 **A/N: To be continued….**


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter 64

 ******A/N: Hey guys, I HIGHLY suggest listening to Alanis Morissette's 'Not As We' as you read this chapter. Let me know if you do.******

* * *

Tony opens the door to his empty, dark apartment.

His head in his hands, he sobs audibly. Picking up the phone, he dials a number he is so familiar with; he doesn't even need to look at the keypad.

It rings twice before going to voicemail, "Hey um…I know you're not talking to me right now but…just…come over tonight so we can talk." He sighs heavily as he hangs up.

Wiping tears from his eyes as he readies what he hopes is his last dose.

As the drugs enter his system, he lays back and closes his eyes.

* * *

Gibbs knocks hard on the door for a third time. "DiNozzo come on! Rule number 3!"

Calling the young agents cellphone, he hears it ring inside, hanging up when it goes to voicemail.

"Dammit." Bracing himself, he busts the door open with his shoulder.

The scene he finds is heartbreaking, Tony laying half on his couch, half on the floor. Around his arm is a tourniquet; a syringe lay in his limp hand. His eyes are closed, his mouth slightly open.

Pulling out his phone again he dials 911, as he checks for a pulse. "No, Tony. Don't do this."

Laying him down on the floor he begins CPR, talking to the operator as he keeps going, praying for a pulse.

* * *

The EMTs take Tony in the ambulance, shocking him into sinus rhythm within 2 minutes of arriving.

Gibbs face is a ghostly white as he drives to the hospital.

Getting dizzy watching him pace the floor of the ER, Marissa comes and consoles him. "He's going to be alright Gibbs, you did good."

"He's not gonna be alright, Rissa. He—he's a drug addict! He needs help!" He almost shouts.

"Hey, shh…he's gonna get help." She hugs him tightly.

He kisses her on the head as he prepares himself to talk to Ziva. "Thanks Marissa. Let me know when he wakes up."

She blushes as he walks away.

* * *

Gibbs watches his daughter sleeping, he thinks of the right words to say to her. He doesn't know how to tell her that her fiancée is in a worse state than she is.

He suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder; he spins around to see a welcome presence.

"Hey." She smiles and kisses him. "Marissa called me."

Gibbs sighs, "Thanks for coming, Rach." He smiles a bit as embraces her.

They look at a sleeping Ziva from the doorway. "How much does she know?" Rachel asks, sadly.

"Nothing, I couldn't tell her. I wanted him to tell her first. But I—I can't keep this from her. I mean, how do I tell her, Rach? He's alive but he's gonna have a heck of a time getting back to normal." He sighs, his eyes tired as he sits in a chair in Ziva's room.

Rachel whispers, "I'm gonna go talk to Marissa, I'll be back." She kisses him again before exiting.

The beeping of machines and the light sounds of chatter from the hallway lull him to sleep.

* * *

He wakes up to the sound of Ziva humming. She smiles at him. "Morning Papa. Were you here all night?"

He goes to answer but she interrupts him, "I hope Tony comes today, you're not working him too hard, are you?"

Gibbs rubs his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. "Actually Ziver…about Tony, we uh…we need to talk."

* * *

Rachel watches from the doorway, her former patient is yelling, her tiny fists clenched in anger as she shouts at her father. Ziva's heart monitor beeps erratically.

The redhead feels as if she could cry herself as she watches her lover console his daughter.

A tear rolls down her cheek unexpectedly as Ziva sobs into Gibbs shirt. She hears him whisper to her, "We're gonna get him help, Ziver. It's gonna be okay." He kisses her on the head and holds her as she continues to cry.

She feels hope, but sadness, knowing what this family is going to go through these next few months. Marissa puts her hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"Hey, they got this. They're strong- both of them." Marissa consoles her.

Rachel sighs, "How is he?" She asks as she leads Marissa away from the doorway.

"Tony awake right now; in pain, physically and emotionally. He's gonna have a helluva journey getting back to where he needs to be. But…he says he **wants** help now. He said—." Marissa wipes a tear from her eye as her voice breaks, "He said he wanted Ziva to know he loves her and he's sorry…. This poor girl, I've known her since she was 10 years old; she's been through so much. I gotta get back downstairs, but you have my pager number if you need me."

Rachel nods solemnly as Marissa pats her on the back and leaves. She watches Gibbs holding and rocking Ziva as if she were a young child; her heart breaks for him as she looks on before deciding to give them privacy by going to the lobby.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but let me know what you think. Thanks. -Em**


	65. Author's Note Thank You

It's been almost a month since I've updated. I will be leaving this unfinished for now until I get my inspiration and passion back.

Thank you, as always for reading and reviewing.

Feel free to follow me on Tumblr- ZivaWarriorPrincess

Toda.


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